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  • You cannot overstate the influence that Anita Taiton

  • has had on Hollywood.

  • And yet, no one knows her name.

  • She is a celebrity for celebrities.

  • I mean, I wouldn't trust anybody else.

  • Before Anita, the industry was a dead fish.

  • A lifeless, stinking husk.

  • It's what the French would call shit.

  • People think that posing is just about standing.

  • But they don't truly see.

  • Have you ever really looked at celebrities on the red carpet?

  • They stand the way no normal human would.

  • Yet they make it look natural.

  • That's my work.

  • My name is Anita Taiton,

  • and I'm a luxury class body arrangement designer.

  • Or, in the common tongue, a pose coach.

  • Anita is the pose coach around town.

  • I mean, before she turned up, Hollywood was a mess.

  • People didn't know where to look, how to walk.

  • They were acting like real people.

  • It was awful.

  • She changed everything.

  • Every pose is carefully crafted to mask flaws

  • and accentuate strengths, or, as I like to call them,

  • reverse flaws.

  • For instance, the truss turkey.

  • Tucks the elbows to accentuate the breasts.

  • The crossed angles elongates the legs.

  • Paired with the supplicant, it increases vulnerability.

  • The Jennifer Lawrence, aka falling down the stairs.

  • This makes you seem more approachable, yes?

  • Let's move on to the more casual poses.

  • Pushing a stroller while using your iPhone.

  • The discreetly leaving a restaurant wearing scarf and sunglasses.

  • Or I don't want you to take a picture of me,

  • but I will be sure to display my fingers

  • so you get a good look at my face.

  • Today I have a very special client coming in for a new pose.

  • Anita, how are you?

  • Kris, Khloe.

  • How are you, darling?

  • So good to see you.

  • Khloe Kardashian is so scrutinized, so photographed

  • that she already makes unnatural poses look natural.

  • And they said she didn't have any talent.

  • So for this challenge,

  • I have designed my greatest pose ever.

  • I've known Anita since we were children.

  • Even then you could tell she was drawn to posing.

  • But then again, she comes from a long line of pose coaches.

  • Her ancestors designed poses for King Tut,

  • Napolean, and even God.

  • But all of those will look like garbage compared

  • to her newest pose.

  • Today, I have something that's going to make you

  • the talk of the Oscars.

  • Are you sure?

  • Oh, trust me.

  • The Oscars are my Oscars.

  • I'm so excited.

  • Yes.

  • I'm a little nervous because the pose is really difficult,

  • and plus I'm not even nominated for an Oscar.

  • After this pose, she will be.

  • It combines all the most difficult elements of the classic poses.

  • The Jolie leg, the lean back, the kickback,

  • the teapot handle, the teapot spout,

  • the butt poke, the adopted baby.

  • All at the same time.

  • Yes, having a baby is a pose.

  • It's perfect for people who don't know what to do with their hands.

  • This is it.

  • But will this break the internet?

  • Oh, it'll break the world.

  • And probably also your arms.

  • Hi, it's Mike Trapp from College Humor.

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  • And if you want to investigate the spooky old

  • McCreery house even though your mom warned

  • you not to, turn to page 87.

You cannot overstate the influence that Anita Taiton

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