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  • Today on the Anime Zone, a review of Highschool of the Dead,

  • an anime about zombies.

  • It's Japan's first take on the zombie apocalypse genre,

  • following a group of survivors battling the vast army of the undead with a cast of highly-trained supermodels,

  • complete with over-the-top, balls-to-the-walls, physics-breaking action,

  • as if the whole thing was programmed in the fucking Matrix.

  • Speaking of The Matrix...

  • [Neo] What are you trying to tell me?

  • That I can dodge bullets?

  • Whoa...

  • At this point in time, the zombie genre is a concept that has been done to death in the Western media,

  • invading movies, comic books, video games, and even novels.

  • It's gotten to the point that all we need to do to advertise something is slap some zombies in it

  • and the thing will sell out as if it came with complimentary biscuits and blowjobs.

  • Surprisingly enough, there hasn't really been any anime centered around a zombie apocalypse,

  • even when the medium of anime gives the Japanese the chance to play with new and original takes of existing genres,

  • or explore imaginative settings that couldn't have been presented in any other medium,

  • which would have been perfect for a re-imagining of the zombie genre.

  • And then, along comes Highschool of the Dead, a zombie apocalypse set in fucking high school.

  • Shine on, Japan, shine the fuck on.

  • Highschool of the Dead is a 2010 anime done by Studio Madhouse

  • and follows the progression of a zombie apocalypse seen through the eyes of Takashi Komuro,

  • who's basically a clone of Kazuki from Buso Renkin, but then again,

  • I'm pretty sure super-serious, spikey-haired high school boy takes up around 90% of all anime protagonists.

  • Anyway, one day, where Takashi is busy pondering why pinky promises made in elementary school don't equal guaranteed sex,

  • and casually pretending to converse with a girl despite the fact that her face is up here and not down there,

  • he bears witness to a zombie attack by what seems to be a zombie version of Bill from accounting.

  • From there on, panic ensues in school as everyone gets involved in the massive biting-frenzy and,

  • before you know it, the whole school has become an infected pit of dead flesh before you can say,

  • "you've got red on you."

  • From here, Takashi must rise to the challenge as he forms a rag-tag team of survivors

  • and faces the biggest challenge of his life:

  • trying to keep his fucking dick in his pants with a bloody sex parade constantly waving in his face 24/7

  • and maybe surviving the oncoming apocalypse in the process.

  • The show plays out like your typical zombie survival story,

  • with a group of unlikely heroes teaming up to battle hordes of the undead

  • wearing short skirts that cover about a millimeter of skin, while, along the way,

  • hinting at the fact that the real monster in all of this is, instead, mankind itself.

  • And, in the end, the cast is what you get if you cross a zombie apocalypse with your typical harem-ecchi anime.

  • You have Takashi, who starts off as the unwilling, spikey-haired hero who is thrown into a situation

  • where he is forced to fight for survival and transforms into the confident badass leader

  • who's not afraid to kick ass and take names, while occasionally asserting his authority by bitch-slapping the odd girl;

  • Rei, the annoying cock-tease of a heroine, who flips between bitchy, stuck-up girl who just lost her boyfriend,

  • to helpless, needy damsel in distress.

  • So, suffice it to say she needs the occasional bitch-slap to keep her in line.

  • And again.

  • And again.

  • And now, just because I can...

  • ["Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor]

  • Takagi, the brains of the group, who is the type of girl that will fuss over her makeup and trying to look pretty

  • and put on a strong fa?ade in front of the guy she likes,

  • but she forgets that in real beauty, it's the inside that really counts

  • her dreadful personality;

  • Kohta, the chubby nerd who's secretly a badass with guns,

  • giving the viewer some hope that all that time dicking around in Call of Duty may actually come in use one day;

  • Saeko, the badass swordswoman who happens to think that dressing like a porn star is the most practical battle attire;

  • a lolicon, because there wasn't enough pandering in this show; and finally,

  • CLEAVAGE!!

  • Now, if you've heard anything about this show, or its infamous reputation,

  • you may be expecting me to rip it a new bollocks,

  • so allow me to surprise some of you by saying, in some ways, I actually enjoyed this anime,

  • in the sense that it was just pure mindless fun.

  • Yes, character were typical, story predictable and completely shallow,

  • but it never tries to hide what it's trying to be, and does exactly what it says on the tin, with the tin saying,

  • "Hot high school girls fighting hordes of zombies with plenty of blood-wearing, skimpy school uniforms. P.S...

  • CLEAVAGE!!"

  • This is a popcorn flick, through and through, and makes no attempt to disguise it.

  • The plot is nothing he haven't seen before in previous zombie flicks,

  • but it does well to portray the panic during the rise of the zombie infestation and post-apocalypse.

  • This keep us interested in what happens and how society breaks down in a dying world.

  • Characters are pretty much one-dimensional and are only really there to fill in their stereotypical roles of

  • kicking ass, flashing skin, or being fucking useless.

  • But, honestly, you don't go into a summer blockbuster expecting Oscar material

  • and, at its best points, it's a fun and entertaining show to watch.

  • Animation is also top-notch, which is especially evident during the very well-executed action scenes,

  • in which all the high school kids apparently tap into their inner B-movie action hero

  • and spontaneously transform into the cast of The Expendables...with tits.

  • This resulted in some heart-pounding, over-the-top, balls-to-the-walls action,

  • reminiscent of my experience with Black Lagoon, another series done by Madhouse,

  • where the action scenes were stupid, defied the laws of physics, and were ridiculous to look at,

  • yet were bloody awesome.

  • Hold on a second...

  • over-the-top action, a cast of stupidly attractive female characters, explosions, a scene with the president...

  • This is a Michael Bay movie!

  • "I stayed up late on the night before the..."

  • No, wait! It needs some Linkin Park.

  • "I stayed up late on the night before the day everything came to an end."

  • ["What I've Done" by Linkin Park]

  • "Mr. President, you have to enter the code."

  • "Come on!"

  • "Fire!"

  • "What the fuck's going on?!?"

  • Now, of course, there's no way to go through this review without talking about the fanservice,

  • so as for that, I thought I said all I needed to about ecchi shows in my Ikki Tousen review,

  • but with Highschool of the Dead, it's a slightly different case, since, if it went without the borderline pornography,

  • it wouldn't totally suck. (No pun intended.)

  • See, the show itself is actually quite well-done and, without the fanservice,

  • it would have been a respectably entertaining series,

  • but any change of it getting taken seriously is thrown out the window when the creators thought to themselves,

  • "You know what? We could create a fun yet respectable anime that takes a serious look

  • at a post-apocalyptic, zombie-infected world, but FUCK THAT!"

  • This is going to be watched by guys, guys have dicks, dicks like these,

  • so let's throw them a bunch of tits and wait for our big pile of money.

  • This results in some of the most distracting and downright annoying ounces of fanservice

  • that break any kind of immersion you may have had in any serious scene.

  • See, as much as I like to rant about fanservice, I'm all for it,

  • as long as it doesn't get in the way of the actual good stuff.

  • And in Highschool of the Dead, they wave it in your face, whatever the setting, context, or tone a scene may be in,

  • creating what I'm pretty sure is a a new concept in modern cinematography of the classic breast-eye view shots.

  • No matter what's going on, the camera angle is always situated at the most revealing position possible,

  • and, on a side-note, my belts are longer than these fucking shorts!

  • Where was I again? Oh yeah; breasts.

  • Every breast in this show seems to have their own physics engine.

  • By that, the anime completely ignores an old invention called the bra,

  • boobs are almost large enough to collapse in on themselves to create a singularity,

  • and each individual boob has a mind of its own,

  • with the slightest nudge apparently signaling the start of a breast rave party.

  • ["Sandstorm" by Darude]

  • And also, tits cannot do this!

  • ...I think.

  • And this is a real shame, because there is a lot of good in the show,

  • which is easily overshadowed by the fucking tits waving in your face.

  • For the subject of dubs or subs, this is a tricky one, actually.

  • On one side, the sub is just better-acted, but on the other hand, the dub is just a lot more fun.

  • You can tell the translators were having fun, since the script is heavily re-written,

  • adding a variety of pop culture reference from Romero films to Sarah Palin jokes.

  • I'm not even joking.

  • And also adding the word "fuck" to every few sentences.

  • So, take your pick. Would you rather have a more refined and better-acted version

  • or one that doesn't take itself too seriously and is just having fun?

  • Because, as we know, adding the word "fuck" makes everything cooler and funnier.

  • "It's fucking Sunday and I've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours"

  • "because every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill."

  • "Now can you see why I'm so fucking angry?!"

  • "Fuck yeah!"

  • Overall, Highschool of the Dead was a mixed bag of fun.

  • It really is nothing but mindless entertainment,

  • but it knows what it is and never tries to be anything more than that.

  • So, if you've got some time to waste and want to watch zombies

  • getting splattered to some well-animated and choreographed action scenes, then go right ahead.

  • Just make sure you have your fanservice filters on because you will get exposed to much of this shit,

  • your body is sure to start an immunity against it.

  • Currently, Highschool of the Dead is licensed by Sentai Filmworks

  • and is available through legal streams at Netflix, Hulu, or The Anime Network.

  • And, just in case you're one of those twats who skip right to the end of the review

  • to see the score without actually watching it, well, here's my review in a nutshell:

  • CLEAVAGE!!

Today on the Anime Zone, a review of Highschool of the Dead,

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