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  • I would never go to an Indian guy that became a doctor.

  • Especially one that was born and raised in this part of the world, f*ck that.

  • Cause if we were born and raised here you had real dreams, and it was never to become a doctor.

  • Let's be honest. I would go to an Indian woman.

  • Cause when an Indian woman becomes a doctor, that means she really wanted to be a doctor.

  • Cause even her parents like, "Sweetie. You don't have to become a doctor,

  • You can just marry a doctor."

  • She's like, "F*ck you. I wanna be a doctor." I need that kind of determination from my doctor.

  • You know, well you had dreams in your 14 years old, right, Sandeep? But it wasn't to be a doctor.

  • That's not what a fourteen-year-old dreams about it. 14 year old has dreams that are

  • ridiculous, that your dream at 14 should never be

  • logical. It should just be the dumbest shit you're doing at 14. I'll tell you what my dream was when I was 14.

  • It wasn't to be a comedian. I didn't even know this job existed.

  • My dream, it'll make you feel better about whatever your dream was.

  • My dream at fourteen here's I thought I was going to do with the rest of my life. I thought I

  • wanted to be a dancer.

  • Alright, first of all, f*ck you, all right.

  • Second of all, I'm not a stripper. I would I was a breakdancer like, yo I'm going to do this sh*t forever.

  • Not a realistic goal, though.

  • What was your dream when you're a fourteen-year-old boy growing up on the mean streets of Mississauga?

  • Sandeep, now be honest, don't make no bullsh*t up.

  • huh?

  • A musician. Did you play an instruments?

  • Oh well good. That's a good start. I always. I don't have Indian guys

  • You know yell out shit that they never did? I wanted to be in the NBA

  • Did you play basketball ?

  • not once,

  • just love Giant Black men

  • Y'know just-

  • What instrument did you play?

  • Guitar, you good?

  • You still throw down on it?

  • Yeah, so you wanted to be a musician-I know what happened tell me if I'm right.

  • You're about 17-18 years old you're sitting in your room playing with your

  • "guitar."

  • And your mom walked in, and you were thinking I'm going to be a musician, your mom walked in, and then "Sandoo"

  • Cause that's all you need to do for an Indian nickname.

  • All you need to add 2 o's to whatever you want the nickname to be.

  • "Sandoo" like look what Edward and Edwoo. Well that could be your name, Ed Wu. Sorry, that, um, that didn't work cause,

  • He might very well be an Ed Wu, yeah.

  • Your mom walked in, "Sandoo."

  • You're going to college, why don't you become a doctor?

  • You're like what's wrong with your face?

  • If you become a doctor you can fix it!

  • So you put your guitar down and picked up,

  • stethoscope and it was all over, after that, that's why I could never go to you.

  • I don't want my doctor to have had other dreams about being something else. My doctor in America is

  • going to be a black guy,

  • from the hood, who grew up with every disadvantage, real hood, like in the hood hood like where the-where people, were like you could

  • Yo cuz! Let's go kill some motherf*ckers today!

  • I want my doctor to be the guy that said "No Man!"

  • I'm gonna be a doctor!

  • And everybody in the hood was like "Ain't nobody gonna f*ck with the Pharaoh."

  • He's gonna be a doctor and sh*t.

  • That time I know I got the right doctor cause he'll say "and sh*t" at the end of sentences.

  • He'll look pissed off when I walk into the doctors office. That's the doctor I want. Alright Mr. Peters,

  • Seems your nasal passage's inflamed and sh*t.

  • You fill out this little bi*ch-a** prescription

  • Holla at me tomorrow, Motherf*cker

  • That's the right doctor for me-I don't want my doctor to be some bratty Indian kid who grew up in Mississauga

  • Halfway through an operation. Just goes f*ck this sh*t.

  • I wanna play guitar and then goes (funny noises).

I would never go to an Indian guy that became a doctor.

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"Indian Doctors" | Russell Peters - Almost Famous

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    Samuel posted on 2018/07/31
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