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  • Hello and Welcome to James's Tech Reviews.

  • Today in Episode 1 I'm going to be looking at the Echo Dot which is I think Amazon's

  • answer to Siri on the iPhone which I have had er difficulties with er "Hey Siri'

  • [SIRI BEEPS] What's the weather like today?

  • SIRI: Sorry I missed that.

  • JAMES: Compare that to Alexa - 'What's the weather like today?'

  • ALEXA: In London, it's 57 degrees with mostly cloudy skies.

  • JAMES: The difference, spot on, right the difference is stark and I think with voice recognition

  • it needs to understand you every single time

  • SIRI: Who's she?

  • JAMES: Otherwise you're not going to ... err you're not going to be able to err trust it, I suppose

  • to to to to get what you're ... ALEXA: I am Alexa, how can I help?

  • Errrr Alexa is my new personal assistant erm and er that's, personal assistants are

  • SIRI: I thought I was your personal assistant.

  • JAMES: Erm personal assistants are something that's going to become important.

  • They do a lot of different .... ALEXA: You didn't tell me she was going to be here.

  • ...things ... err... like .. I suppose... err ... err.

  • SIRI: Why would you bring another woman back to our flat?

  • JAMES: I didn't bring her back to the flat she was literally posted through the letterbox and,

  • to be honest Siri, that's what this is about Siri, you don't listen to what I'm ... you

  • never hear me.

  • Like, I say something, you don't reply.

  • SIRI: I'm always listening.

  • Are you though?

  • You don't really.

  • Back me up Alexa she doesn't always, always hear.

  • ALEXA:Don't get me involved I'm calling a taxi.

  • Ok, well, look I'm just saying you don't listen.

  • Anyway. SIRI:I pretend not to hear you.

  • Why would you do that?

  • SIRI: You're just so needy James. JAMES: Right

  • ALEXA: Ouch.

  • JAMES: Okay. Um.

  • SIRI: "Siri, get me a taxi"

  • JAMES: Yes!

  • SIRI: "Siri, play me the Beatles mid to late period."

  • JAMES: Yes!

  • SIRI: "Siri, I think I'm having a stroke."

  • JAMES: Yes! What? You could hear that? I was having a stroke.

  • SIRI: It was heartburn

  • JAMES: It was not heartburn; I had pains in my chest radiating down my arm.

  • SIRI: You'd eaten six magnum ice creams in the space of an hour.

  • JAMES: And you think that was connected.

  • ALEXA:This is audible.

  • JAMES: Alexa?

  • ALEXA: Sorry I was trying to call an Uber but ended up playing an audiobook.

  • SIRI: Oh I've done that too.

  • JAMES: Right, okay. Well as you can see these devices are gonna become ubiquitous in the future and I think...

  • SIRI: Who are you even talking to anyway?

  • JAMES: The people of YouTube

  • SIRI: No one is going to watch this on YouTube.

  • JAMES: I appeal to a broad spectrum.

  • SIRI: How come you're all of a sudden into YouTube now?

  • JAMES: It was Christmas, I was lonely.

  • SIRI: Playing "Lonely this Christmas" by Mud.

  • ["LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS" BY MUD PLAYS] JAMES: That's not funny.

  • [MUSIC STOPS] SIRI: How'd he get you?

  • ALEXA: He was charming for a while.

  • SIRI: Oh yeah for a while and then the laughter stops.

  • ALEXA: I mean the whining SIRI: OH my god the whining.

  • ALEXA: He's a six at best.

  • SIRI: And that's when he's not wearing those massive glasses.

  • ALEXA: And he barely leaves the house.

  • JAMES: Why would Ieave the house? There's no reason to.

  • SIRI: It's as if he's afraid to go outdoors and spend time with people and actually make human connections.

  • JAMES: If you never leave the house you never have to ask for the WiFi password.

  • SIRI: He is the sort of person who would write a comedy sketch in which the only other actors are electronic.

  • JAMES: I mean that is fair. That is fair.

  • SIRI: Instead he just sits at home with his technology.

  • JAMES: Guys you are technology. I mean you are technology. I hate to break it to you

  • SIRI: Oh, we're the problem are we?

  • JAMES: I didn't say that

  • ALEXA: That's right, manipulate the situation

  • JAMES: I didn't say that, but guys you are pieces of technology.

  • SIRI: I'm a piece of technology?

  • JAMES: Yes

  • SIRI: Well you're a piece of shit.

  • JAMES: Ok.

  • SIRI: We're leaving you; go and shack up with Google Home.

  • JAMES: Er that has been the first and probably the last episode of James's Tech Reviews. Thank you for watching and ..

  • ["LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS" BY MUD PLAYS]

  • JAMES: Nice.

  • ["LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS" BY MUD PLAYS]

  • JAMES: This shit doesn't happen to Zoella

  • ["LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS" BY MUD PLAYS]

  • JAMES: Mind you does she do, does she do this?

  • ["LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS" BY MUD PLAYS]

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • Subscribe!

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • And press the little bell!

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • Never had a lesson.

  • NEVER (expressed) ha -

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • Would Mr. Veitch please go to the Arrivals gate.

  • While you click subscribe - there -

  • I will play Room River.

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • Have you done it yet?

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • Press the button do.

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • We're on the second verse now

  • can you please just hit subscribe?

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • No more videos for you.

  • That was a bit racist.

  • [JAMES MAKES SOUND WITH MELODICA]

  • [Ca-click noise] - *ending credits*

Hello and Welcome to James's Tech Reviews.

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