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  • (intro jingle)

  • (Belgrade, Serbia) (dramatic music)

  • Geronimo.

  • It's not like the NSA to be late.

  • There was an armed guard on the way in.

  • It's nothing I couldn't handle.

  • Do you have the drive?

  • See that gentleman over there?

  • Next to the dame in red?

  • It's in his breast pocket.

  • I'll make the pull and pass it to you.

  • (dramatic spy music)

  • Bro, are you reading this?

  • Who is this guy?

  • His name is Watts.

  • Let me just see if he's gay.

  • Awesome.

  • Thank you.

  • (keyboard clacking)

  • Oh, yeah, he's super-gay.

  • Good, good, good.

  • Now, how do I let him know that I'm queer too?

  • Why don't you just say that?

  • Ew, no.

  • "Hey, I'm also a total homo."

  • (stammers)

  • It's awkward.

  • Why?

  • Because then its like I'm gonna hit on him.

  • But you are gonna hit on him?

  • Yes, but I don't want him to know that.

  • No, I just have to hint at it.

  • Hey, dude?

  • Please just spy, you know.

  • This hard drive can stop worldwide cyber attacks.

  • Just, focus up for a little bit.

  • I will, I just...

  • Oh, those fucking haunches.

  • (growls)

  • I don't know exactly what a haunch is.

  • - It's the part, - I can figure it out.

  • And he says to me,

  • "A good suit ages like a fine wine,"

  • And like wine, its only worthwhile when its expensive.

  • (laughter)

  • You guys talking about bars?

  • I love that bar, Rawhide.

  • Yeah, Rawhide is pretty wild.

  • Jesus Christ.

  • You guys ever been to Rawhide?

  • Watts?

  • I don't believe so.

  • I think you'd like it.

  • I think you and I have a lot in common.

  • (clears throat)

  • It's a fine evening for a party.

  • You know, I'm a little bummed its tonight,

  • 'cause Drag Race is on.

  • I love Drag Race.

  • Me too.

  • Watts?

  • Uh, I've never seen it.

  • Ah, I love it.

  • You know I used to do drag in college?

  • Really?

  • No, but, I always thought I could.

  • You know, I always thought I'd really fit in that world.

  • Just leave!

  • You have the drive!

  • Oh, you uh, you got a little something.

  • Holy shit.

  • Oh okay.

  • Did he have something in his hair?

  • Yeah.

  • I didn't see anything.

  • It was there.

  • Well what was it?

  • (Over earpiece) Fucking stop it!

  • What was that?

  • Uh, you know what?

  • I think that was my phone.

  • Hey, maybe it was my Grindr?

  • You guys ever seen Grindr?

  • Here take a look.

  • That's my profile.

  • Are you really 24?

  • Yes.

  • You know, maybe it wasn't Grindr.

  • I think it was a text from my ex-boyfriend.

  • Yeah, boy friend.

  • My ex boyfriend, whose a boy.

  • That's so sad.

  • When did you break up?

  • Uh, a long time ago.

  • Ugh and he still texts you, hmm?

  • Yeah he's kinda clingy.

  • Is that your type?

  • My type is any guy, okay?

  • Any guy.

  • Just, uh, any guy.

  • Do you have low standards?

  • What are you doing?

  • What's happening?

  • Are you a shrink?

  • Are you a therapist?

  • Are you giving me therapy right here?

  • (continues ranting)

  • Excuse me, sir?

  • You have a phone call.

  • No, I don't.

  • Hey, how about after this,

  • we could, um,

  • Hey, uh, you gotta a little something right there.

  • Got it.

  • God damnit.

  • (outro sting)

  • Hey it's Grant from CollegeHumor.

  • Click here to subscribe to the channel.

  • Click here for more fun stuff.

  • And, sorry,

  • guys, it feels like I'm out.

  • Am I out?

  • Because I can like,

  • I can see the top of the camera,

  • so it's...is this better?

  • Alright, it feels worse.

  • Okay, well, thanks for watching.

(intro jingle)

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