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  • Hello, and welcome to my lesson. I hope you are happy.

  • What? What's going on? Today, I'm going to teach you some words that you will say in

  • English. They are definitely English words. You will use the words correctly in a beautiful,

  • grammatically correct sentence, but they make me go, "What? That's weird. That's weird.

  • "You speak like a grandmother or a grandfather." This lesson is called "Olde School" or -- uh-oh!

  • "Too formal! What are you doing?" So one of the goals that I've always had since I started

  • teaching ESL, or teaching English, is that textbook English and the way that a lot of

  • people teach you how to speak... it's not "cool". You sound like you are reading a textbook.

  • One of my goals in life is to make everyone that I teach sound natural, normal, and not

  • like an old person even if you are an old person. That's cool. I want you to learn words

  • that I and other normal -- normal? Not normal -- and natural English speakers would use.

  • So "Olde School". "Ronnie, you've spelled "old" school wrong." Guess what? A long time

  • ago, this is how they spelled "old", but they didn't say "oldie", they said "old". "Olde school"

  • "Olde school" means it's old. So let's look at the first one: "Telephone".

  • We never, ever, ever, ever, ever say "telephone"; we say "phone" or "mobile" or "cell". "Telephone"

  • is really, really, really old. Do you remember the really old telephones that you had to

  • dial -- you stick your finger and you go [makes clicking sounds]? And if you made a mistake,

  • you had to start again. I remember being a little Ronnie, and I had to dial my best friend's

  • number, and it had three nines in it. [Shudders] "I made a mistake." So "telephone" -- old.

  • Now we have these wonderful cell phones. You press a button, and your friend is right there

  • -- "Hi", okay? Don't use the word "telephone"; it's strange.

  • The other one is: "Television". Do you have a television? I don't. I hate television.

  • So much so that I don't even call it that; I call it a TV. Please call it a "TV", not

  • a "television". "Television" is old, very old.

  • This word: "refrigerator" -- "Ronnie, there's a space here." Yeah. Ronnie has trouble spelling.

  • And the reason why I have trouble spelling this word is we never, ever, ever say this

  • word: "refrigerator". I'm tired by the time I get to this space here, so instead of saying

  • "refrigerator", do you know what we say? "I'm hungry. I'm going to go to the fridge." and

  • get a Coke or a drink. So normally, we shorten this, and we call it a "fridge", "fridge".

  • "Automobile", "auto". If you speak any of the Latin languages, you can understand "auto"

  • means "self"; "mobile" means "move". "Look at me. I'm going in my self-move to the -- to

  • the mall. Would you like a drive?" "No. I'll take the bus, thank you." So "automobile"

  • and "auto", we do not use. We call it one of these [makes car noise] a "car". I have

  • seen a textbook -- one or two in my day -- and it actually says "automobile". So I looked

  • at the date: "Published 2010." Really? You put "automobile" in a textbook? Give your

  • head a shake. The next one is a modal verb. If you do not

  • know what a modal verb is, go look in a grammar book. "Shall" is a modal verb. However, we

  • never use this. The only time you will see this modal verb used is if you are reading

  • rules of something. If you go to a public swimming pool, or if you go on the subway,

  • all of the rules are written with this word. "You shall not spit in the pool. You shall

  • not -- in the pool." Okay, I'm not going to do that. "You shall not run around the pool

  • because you're going to die." "Shall" -- we always use "will" or negative "won't". This

  • has... replaced our modal verb "shall". Please don't say this; it's weird. "You shall give

  • me a dollar." What? "You will give me a dollar." "You're going to give me a dollar." Everyone

  • give me a dollar. The next one is an expression: "What a pity"

  • or "What a shame!" Now, if you were -- let's see -- maybe a 70-year-old grandmother or

  • grandfather living in England, you would say this all the time. My grandmother -- God rest

  • her soul -- would say this, "What a pity. What a shame." She's from Scotland. She says

  • this all the time, "What a pity. What a shame." We go, "That sucks." Okay? If something is

  • bad, you can -- you can say that. You can say, "Wow. That sucks." or "That blows." Don't

  • say this. You can even say, "That's bad." "What a pity" or "What a shame" -- it's way,

  • way too old. Too old. Too old. Bye-bye. "Pardon me!" Pardon me; I forgot the "S".

  • "Pardon me" -- again, my grandmother says this all the time. Pardon me -- we say now:

  • "Excuse me." Why would you say this? We use this expression in a lot of situations. The

  • first one is if you [makes fart sound]. That was with my mouth, yeah? You're going to say,

  • "Excuse me." [Makes burp sound] The second -- burp. I did that again with my mouth. You're

  • going to say, again, "Excuse me." You can say "Pardon me" when you fart or burp, but

  • it's more natural to say, "Excuse me." The other thing is if you're shopping and there're

  • people in the way, you can say, "Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me! Move." And they will

  • eventually maybe move. So "excuse me" is a very, very polite way of getting someone to

  • move out of the way and excusing yourself if you have gas. People also use it to get

  • your attention. Today, I was buying chicken -- I love chicken -- and I put all my groceries

  • -- that means food -- into a bag, and I went away. And I was organizing my bag. And a girl

  • said, "Excuse me!" I was like, "What? Oh, hi." "You forgot your chicken." "Oh, my God!

  • I forgot my chicken! I love chicken." So she was nice enough to tell me and not steal my

  • chicken. Thank you to the lady at the supermarket today that did not steal my chicken. I love you.

  • Were you a vegetarian? I would have taken that, for sure.

  • The next set of words are words that are too formal, okay? Again, when you say them, you're

  • correct. I hear people say, "I entered the building." Are you Elvis Presley? Okay? You

  • are not, like, "[makes trumpet sound] Bobby is now entering the building!" "Bobby! Yeah!

  • Bobby! Yeah! Come on in, Bobby! Sit down! Shut up." No. You're just going to say, "Hey.

  • I went in." " I went in the classroom." " I went in the mall." " I went in the car." Okay?

  • Please don't say, "entered". Strange. The opposite of this is when you're leaving

  • -- sayonara -- "Exited". Now these are past tense for a good reason. You're just going

  • to say "left". Not this hand. It's the same spelling, but "I left". "Yesterday, I left

  • work." You're not going to say, "I exited work at 5 p.m. yesterday." Hello. Learn some

  • cool words. "Departed". So departed is this: you are going

  • on an airplane, and it's your first trip anywhere in the world, and all of your parents and

  • all of your friends are saying "Goodbye! Have a -- Bon voyage! You're departing. Bye!" Not

  • going to happen. You're just going to say, "I left." "Yesterday, I left the bar because

  • I was too drunk to figure out what I was doing." So these two words -- bye-bye. Take them out.

  • "Left". Easy. This word: "received" [makes panting sound].

  • "I received mail." Hmm. If you ever watch movies, or if you have an email account,

  • it says, very famously, "You've got mail. You've got mail." It doesn't say, "You've received

  • mail. You've received mail." Instead of saying "received", say "got". People are going to

  • say: "I received a beer from the bartender." Guess what? You didn't. You got a beer, okay?

  • Next word. I hear a lot of people use this when they talk about playing sports. So people

  • say, "I participated in a football game yesterday." What did you do? Were you, like, the cheerleader

  • going, like, "Yeah! Come on, team!" No. You're going to say, "I played football yesterday."

  • You're not participating in it; you're playing it.

  • The next one is "joined". I hear a lot of people say, "I joined the restaurant yesterday."

  • You joined the restaurant? Okay. Or "I joined the nightclub yesterday." Did you join it?

  • Is there a membership fee? "Join" we only use if you have to pay a membership fee, and

  • you're going to join something for a month. So you can join EngVid. That's free. Please

  • join. Instead of saying "joined" for casual things that you do, you're going to say

  • "went to". So you're going to say, "I went to the restaurant." "I went to a party." I hear a

  • lot of people say, I joined the party. Did you? Were you, like, just, "Use your membership

  • card. Come on in. Have a beer." No. "I went to the party." Two more, then we're done.

  • Olde school! "Located". "I located my marker." Did you

  • search for it? Did you put out an APB? Did you call the police and go, "We have a missing

  • marker. Please get all hands on deck, and get this marker found." No. "Found". "I found

  • my marker. It's right here the whole time floating in air."

  • Hello. Were you born -- good -- in the 1950s? Okay. If you were, maybe you remember disco

  • dancing the night away. Maybe you wore bell-bottoms. Maybe you like John Travolta. I like John

  • Travolta. "Disco" is a kind of music. ABBA -- that's all I got. John Travolta. "Disco

  • -- disco fever boogie." Disco is super, super, super, super old. You would never find a "disco"

  • in any country that speaks English. Maybe someplace in Europe you would find a "disco".

  • "Disco" is a type of music from the 70s. In these here parts, we go to a "nightclub" or

  • a "bar". Disco -- old, outdated -- don't use it. Too "olde school".

  • Last one: "occupation". I hear people say, "Ronnie, what is your occupation?" "I don't

  • know. What's my occupation?" Instead of saying "occupation", you want to ask someone, "What's

  • your job?" And I tell them, "I am an undercover spy, a secret agent, working for the monkeys

  • in the -- in the, in the, in the, in the, in the jungles of Brazil. That's it. That's

  • all I got. Olde school. Don't do it. Bye.

  • Can I have a mustache when I come back?

Hello, and welcome to my lesson. I hope you are happy.

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