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  • Now I think there's a fair bit of misunderstanding around what an introvert or extrovert actually is

  • and while introverts are most often portrayed as being shy and awkward, and extroverts as being charismatic and sociable, it isn't always the case

  • To give an example most people think that stand-up comedians

  • are all super extroverted because they go on stage in front of a whole crowd

  • But in practice most of their time is spent writing, not performing. Even someone as famous as Louis C.K has called himself an introvert

  • Despite the fact that he's performed in front of, what, a dozen women?

  • So what does being introverted or extroverted actually mean?

  • and the first thing is that you're not entirely one or the other. You're somewhere on a normal distribution or bell curve

  • that runs from total introversion on one side to total extraversion on the other side

  • Which means almost everyone is actually around the middle. You might have heard some people in this category called themselves ambiverted,

  • But they're actually just average. Now the simplest definition of the two extremes is that extroverts are energized by social interaction

  • while introverts are exhausted by it, and prefer more time alone. Problem here is that it's easy to self-diagnose without comparing yourself to anyone

  • But it only really makes sense if you give a group of people a few dozen hypothetical situations

  • And then rank order their responses relative to everyone else. So you're not way off at the end of the introvert spectrum

  • just because you only rate your Uber™️ driver five stars if he doesn't talk to you

  • You're probably just on a different sort of spectrum

  • So without quizzing you on every detail of your life, what are the signs that you're more introverted or extroverted?

  • So extroverts tend to have a lot of acquaintances, while introverts don't.

  • This is of course because extroverts tend to meet more people

  • But also because they're more likely to say,

  • "Oh boy, I'm not doing anything on Sunday, and I haven't seen Cindy for a month

  • I should ask her for coffee, and I can see how her new job is going."

  • Where as an introvert is more likely to say, "Oh boy, I'm not doing anything on Sunday."

  • ...

  • Extroverts experience more positive emotion, or at least experience positive emotion more intensely.

  • This means they're more enthusiastic and excitable.

  • This is interesting because if you take something like a concert in control for drugs and alcohol

  • The people near the front will tend to be more extroverted, while people who are more introverted will be further away from the stage

  • Like at home. So, behaviorally, extroverts might seem to act first and think later,

  • But I think a better description would be that extroverts tend to experience more and reflect less

  • while introverts experience less and reflect more.

  • In a way you could say the biggest fear of an introvert is losing their hearing, because then they couldn't listen,

  • Whereas the biggest fear of an extrovert would be losing their tongue, because then they couldn't eat ass.

  • Now you might wonder if your degree of introversion or extroversion changes as you get older

  • or if you're stuck how you are forever, and for things like how much positive emotion you experience,

  • it doesn't look like that changes much.

  • However, some people make the argument that the things that happen to you during your life can change the way you process emotions

  • I don't know for sure, but anecdotally, I have never experienced much positive emotion since the big accident:

  • Being conceived.

  • Ultimately, it's no better or worse to be introverted or extroverted

  • As long as your behavior really is a preference and what you're doing with your time is meaningful to you

  • With that said some extroverts might socialize to avoid personal development, and some introverts might like to have more friends than they do,

  • but are anxious or lack social skills

  • So whatever your disposition, you have to spend time with people and you have to spend time alone

  • So make sure you're not being avoidant, or it can lead to some pretty big blind spots.

  • For me, I remember back when Tinder™️ first came out, my friends decided I had to go in at least one date

  • Just for the sake of it because I didn't usually meet many new people

  • Now the thing is I didn't have much sexual experience at the time

  • I mean I still don't, but I didn't then either, so when I got a match eventually, I asked them out to a movie

  • because I like watching movies, and I thought that's what a date was.

  • Now what I didn't realize was that when you're watching a movie

  • You don't really see or interact with the other person at all the whole time

  • So we were just sitting there with each other in complete darkness not saying a word as we ate from our own bag of popcorn

  • Then two and a half hours later when the movie ended and the house lights came on

  • We looked at each other and said "Good movie, huh?" "Yeah pretty good."

  • And that was the whole date

  • So, yeahfive stars.

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Now I think there's a fair bit of misunderstanding around what an introvert or extrovert actually is

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