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  • I'm about to expose everything you won't admit.

  • What up, everyone. It's your girl Superwoman, and it's a regular day, alright.

  • So you're having that relationship talk with one of your friends.

  • Honestly, I can't even imagine being in a relationship right now.

  • Totally.

  • It's like I'm too independent, you know?

  • For sure!

  • Also, I don't need to seek validation from someone else's love.

  • You don't need no validation.

  • I'm just too, like, woke as a person, you know?

  • Like I'm drinking a kale smoothie right now.

  • This is gluten-free, cruelty-free, a recyclable cup.

  • This company, they employ abandoned puppies, yeah.

  • So I can't do all of this plus be in a relationship, it's too much work.

  • And then she hits you with:

  • I heard Kenny has a crush on you.

  • What?

  • Yeah, Kenny told me he has a crush on you.

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

  • Kenny has a crush on you.

  • - Hurry the hell up. - Someone has a crush on me.

  • Ho, call me a parking ticket 'cause I just got validated.

  • When you find out someone has a crush on you, on the outside, you might act like you're un-phased but on the inside, you're like, "Yo, I'm the most bomb person on the planet."

  • And for some reason it makes you wanna be even hotter.

  • Like let me put in a little bit of extra effort and see who else I can snatch on these streets.

  • Yeah, let me catch these crushes like Pokemon.

  • Just absolutely feeling myself.

  • Feeling myself all on the 'gram.

  • Feeling myself while staying hydrated.

  • Feeling myself in my bed.

  • Lilly?

  • Get out, I'm busy!

  • And all of this leads to phase one of someone having a crush on you: the lead on.

  • Now I hate to say it, when someone has a crush on youshut-up, shut-up. You're gonna deny this. Shut you face!

  • When someone has a crush on you, whether you like them back or not, you are going to lead them on.

  • Why? Because it's human nature.

  • Why for real? 'Cause it makes you feel powerful.

  • You go hit them with the mild interactions like, yo, I'ma drop this pencil in front of you, I'ma bend over, I'ma allow you to look at this booty, okay.

  • Consider it a charitable donation.

  • Wait, don't charities only take non-damaged goods?

  • Shut the eff up, zoomed in Lilly.

  • It's like reverse flirting like, "You have a crush on me, okay, cool, yeah. Let me talk to you here and there, you know, make your day."

  • Um, hey, I'm totally lost, can you help me?

  • But I wasn't lost, I just enjoy the power of making someone nervous.

  • Uh, it's a factorial so you just, multiply each one by n.

  • (Wrong.) Is that summation?

  • Yeah,uh, they're the same thing.

  • Wrong, he was so wrong.

  • Maybe he only had skills in picking beautiful crushes.

  • This leads to phase two: delusions.

  • When someone has a crush on you, you start to read into everything they do and you conclude like, "Yo, this person's life revolves around me, psh, obviously."

  • And you throw them a pity party every opportunity you have because, damn, it must be so hard to have a crush on someone as fine as you.

  • Aww, look at him over there just crushing on me so hard.

  • He's literally just drinking juice.

  • Duh, the juice is a metaphor for how he's bottling up his emotions for me.

  • I think he might just be thirsty.

  • Exactly, he's so thirsty, he's practically shaking.

  • He's just shaking his juice.

  • You know, when he talks to me, he chokes.

  • (coughs)

  • Oh my god, I think he's actually choking.

  • (coughs)

  • He literally dies over me.

  • (coughs)

  • I think Kenny just died.

  • It's like watching an episode of South Park over and over again.

  • Poor Kenny, he used to have a crush on me.

  • Are you okay?

  • Now for this, one of two things are gonna happen alright?

  • Number one: You like the person back and ya'll go and get jiggy with it.

  • Number two: You don't.

  • And when you don't, it's just another regular day except the idea of romance has been infiltrated into your mind,

  • so you're having a conversation with your friend like:

  • I can honestly imagine myself in a relationship these days.

  • Totally.

  • You know, it's nice to depend on people sometimes.

  • For sure.

  • I even stopped recycling and eating healthy because I'm like, what's the point, people crush on me either way.

  • I think I'm just like, naturally quirky and attractive.

  • And then she hits you with: I heard Kenny doesn't like you anymore.

  • What?

  • Yeah, Kenny he likes Tricia now, he told me.

  • Thus entering phase three: the break up.

  • Yo, straight up, breaking up with someone you're not in a relationship with is the worst.

  • How dare you not be dating me, and be cheating on me.

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, listen, hey, hey, hey.

  • What's all this with you not liking me anymore.

  • Hey, well, I thought you weren't into me.

  • So that's it, what you're not gonna like fight for me?

  • Fight who?

  • Anyone, honestly is chivalry dead?

  • I'm sorry, I like Tricia now.

  • No, no, you don't. Listen, focus, okay, I am your crush.

  • But you said you didn't like me.

  • That's irrelevant.

  • Listen, you're supposed to have a crush on me for a really long time.

  • Why? because it makes me feel good.

  • God, you know nothing about girls.

  • Okay, fine, I like you?

  • Damn straight you like me.

  • Now pull yourself together, God, you're practically drooling over me.

  • He has a crush on me.

  • What?

  • And all of this is my cheeky way of saying that I have a huge crush.

  • Ah, sike, go to the end card.

  • Yo, my lipstick matches my shirt okay?

  • For that alone, give this video a thumbs up.

  • Check out my last video right over there.

  • Second vlog channel right over there.

  • Yo, super 60 starts right now, which means for the next hour, I'll be responding to comments down below, so go ahead and comment, make sure you subscribe because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.

  • One love, Superwoman.

  • That is a wrap and zoop!

I'm about to expose everything you won't admit.

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