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  • Hey guys, I'm Kyle from The Distilled Man.

  • And up next we're going to be talking about table manners

  • and how to avoid embarrassing yourself when you dine out with other people.

  • When you hear the words manners or etiquette,

  • I know sometimes you might just think of rules you blindly have to follow for the heck of it.

  • But actually that's not the case.

  • At their core manners are just being considerate and respectful to the people around you.

  • Table manners are particularly important because,

  • well let's face it there's a lot more ways to gross someone out when you're eating with them.

  • You know, when you're slurping and chomping and burping and splattering...

  • Versus when you're just like sitting next to them on a train reading a newspaper.

  • Because of that table manners have always been a good "tell" about someone's overall refinement,

  • their upbringing and their sort of sensitivity and kind of self-awareness around other people.

  • So my thought is even if you don't practice impeccable table manners at home,

  • it is important to know how to behave properly for those important occasions.

  • Today we're going to be talking about some easy to follow guidelines

  • that will help keep your table manners on point throughout an entire meal.

  • Sitting down at the table.

  • So you're just about to sit down at the table, that a great time for you to silence your phone and put it away.

  • You don't want to be that guy whose phone is going off during a nice dinner.

  • The other thing you want to do is make sure to wait for everyone to gather around the table.

  • To about to be seated before you sit down yourself.

  • And you may want to take a cue with the host or hostess

  • The first thing you do when you sit down is generally put your napkin on your lap.

  • And in really formal settings, you'd actually wait for an indication from the host or hostess to do this,

  • but in most setting you're probably safest just to put your napkin on your lap

  • when you first sit down so you don't forget.

  • Of course that should never go in your shirt, you should keep it on your lap.

  • But your napkin is your friend, so feel free to use it throughout the meal

  • to blot your mouth and keep it clean.

  • Body Language

  • When you're sitting down your posture should be upright.

  • You should try to avoid slouching or leaning way back on your chair.

  • Keeping your elbows off the table.

  • So this is kind of a misunderstood rule.

  • Of course, it isn't acceptable to put your elbows on the table while your eating

  • and in general you want to kind of keep your free hand on your lap.

  • While you''re eating, but it is actually acceptable to put your elbows on the table

  • in between courses when you're not eating.

  • And particularly after the meal if you're just enjoying conversation with the other diners,

  • you can put your elbows on the table, lean in and it's totally fine.

  • The Place Setting

  • Oh, the place setting!

  • Nothing gives people greater anxiety than the place setting.

  • You sit down and there's all these glasses and plates and implements.

  • You don't know what's going on, it's totally overwhelming.

  • Now the first thing that you want to figure out is, where's my bread plate and where's my water glass.

  • Because you don't want to be like sipping off someone else's glass or stealing someone else's bread.

  • So I like to use this trick that my friend Dave showed me that's really handy.

  • Just remember "b" and "d".

  • So, b for bread and d for drink.

  • And that kind of always tells you what side everything is on.

  • When it comes to understanding which glass is for what, honestly you shouldn't have to worry about it.

  • Because most likely when you get there to the table your water glass is probably already filled.

  • Or it will be pretty obvious which one the glass is.

  • And if you do have multiple wine glasses,

  • generally that means you're probably gonna be in a place that has servers

  • or a sommelier and then the server sommelier is going to be the one who's going to fill up your glass anyway.

  • So you don't need to really think about it.

  • When it comes to silverware, there's something you've got to understand.

  • First of all, if the person who laid it out actually knows what they're doing,

  • then each utensil should be laid to the order that the dishes should be presented.

  • You know anything that is served on a flat plate should be eaten with a fork.

  • And anything that's served in a bowl should be eaten with a spoon.

  • The only thing that you really need to remember is that you start with utensils closest to you

  • and work from your outside in.

  • Those utensils on the top, above your plate are for dessert don't worry about them for now.

  • On your left side, you're probably going to have some forks.

  • On your right side, you're probably going to have some knives some spoon or two.

  • And then maybe mincer fork looking thing, that's a seafood fork, essentially.

  • Starting the Meal

  • So as much as you want to tear into your food, because you're hungry, when it first arrives in front of you.

  • You've got to wait until everyone else is served and in really formal dinners

  • you would actually wait to get a cue from the host or hostess.

  • But usually you're safe if everyone is served.

  • In the western world, there are sort of two acceptable ways to hold your fork and knife.

  • There's the American Style and the Continental Style.

  • With the American Style, you hold the fork with the dominant hand, kind of like a pencil.

  • And then when it comes to cut something, you switch hands and that's why this is sometimes called the zigzag style, also.

  • And you use your dominant hand to cut with the knife.

  • Cut a single bite of food and switch the fork back to your dominant hand to take a bite.

  • And while you're doing that if you want to set the knife down you can place it at the top of your plate.

  • With the blade facing down towards you.

  • With the Continental Style, you keep your fork in your non dominant hand

  • and then you still cut with your dominant hand but you don't switch them.

  • According to Emily Post, either way is fine.

  • This is actually what I do because it's a little bit easier, you're switching back and forth.

  • And of course when you're eating with your fork and not cutting, you should be keep your other hand on your lap.

  • And remember don't reach across the table,

  • if something is close enough to you that you can grab it and you're not reaching over another diner,

  • you can feel free to reach out and get it.

  • But otherwise you're going to have to ask someone else to pass it to you.

  • "Can you please pass the salt."

  • And on that note if someone asks you to pass the salt,

  • you always give them the pepper as well and vice versa.

  • Finger Foods

  • Yes, believe it or not, it is okay actually to eat certain foods with your fingers when you're at a formal dinner.

  • You know obvious finger foods like corn on the cob, chicken wings

  • or ribs, or pizza, or tacos, you can eat with your fingers but

  • you have to use your judgement, if it does look like it's going to be really messy maybe try to use a fork if you can.

  • Chewing and Talking

  • You probably already know that you're not supposed to talk with your mouth full of food.

Hey guys, I'm Kyle from The Distilled Man.

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