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  • >> OFFICIANT: Isabella, do you take Rudolfo as your husband?

  • >> ISABELLA: I do.

  • >> OFFICIANT: Rudolfo, do you take Isabella as your wife?

  • >> RUDOLFO: I mean...

  • [SLAP SOUND]

  • >> RUDOLFO: Okay! Yes.

  • [♪ Here Comes the Bride ♪] >> RUDOLFO: Jesus Christ. [BLEEP].

  • [MUSIC]

  • >> ISABELLA: This place is amazing.

  • >> RUDOLFO: Yeah, it's [BLEEP] amazing.

  • >> ISABELLA: Look at the little girl!

  • She's so cute!

  • >> RUDOLFO: Look, look, look what's she's doing, look what she's doing.

  • You didn't see that?

  • >> ISABELLA: No.

  • >> RUDOLFO: Look, look, look right now, she just did it again. Look!

  • >> ISABELLA: You're scaring her.

  • >> RUDOLFO: Do me a favor, hold this. Son of a [BLEEP].

  • >> ISABELLA: What the hell are you doing on the ground?

  • >> RUDOLFO: The little girl!

  • >> ISABELLA: Are you kidding me? You're always sleeping! >> RUDOLFO: It's not my fault!

  • >> GRETA MENCHI: Bonjour!

  • Uh, what do you want to drink?

  • >> ISABELLA: Can I have a water?

  • >> GRETA MENCHI: Okay! For you?

  • >> RUDOLFO: I'll go water too, please.

  • >> ISABELLA: Do you know where the bathroom is?

  • >> GRETA MENCHI: Oh sure, just inside. Yeah.

  • >> ISABELLA: Thank you.

  • >> GRETA MENCHI: You sure you just want water?

  • >> RUDOLFO: What?

  • >> GRETA MENCHI: I don't have time. She's coming back. I think I love you.

  • I love you! You understand? From the moment I first saw you.

  • I can't anymore! I fell in love with you.

  • I beg you my god...No!

  • >> RUDOLFO: What's going on?

  • >> ISABELLA: Hey!

  • >> GRETA MENCHI: Hi! Oh, his shirt was dirty. Dirty shirt.

  • >> ISABELLA: I cleaned it yesterday!

  • >> GRETA MENCHI: I'll be right back with your drinks.

  • >> ISABELLA: Thank you so much!

  • >> GRETA MENCHI: Yeah. >> ISABELLA: She's so nice

  • >> RUDOLFO: I think I just got sexually assaulted.

  • >> ISABELLA: The tour! Come!

  • >> RUDOLFO: This is the tour guide?

  • >> ISABELLA: They said he's the best.

  • >> RUDOLFO: Hello?

  • >> ISABELLA: Hey!

  • >> TOUR GUIDE: Welcome to Venezia! Please follow me.

  • Stairs.

  • >> RUDOLFO: No [BLEEP].

  • >> TOUR GUIDE: This is a wall!

  • Door.

  • People.

  • Bird.

  • 1,000 dollars.

  • >> RUDOLFO: For what? You didn't do anything. You showed us a door.

  • >> ISABELLA: Just pay him!

  • He's pretty good.

  • >> RUDOLFO: Come on. Come here, let's talk.

  • Okay listen, this has been the worst [BLEEP] day of my entire life.

  • >> ISABELLA: What do you mean? We're in Venice.

  • >> RUDOLFO: I'd rather go to Venice Beach, California. This sucks.

  • >> ISABELLA: What? We saw a little cute girl.

  • >> RUDOLFO: Are you talking about the demon child?

  • >> ISABELLA: A nice waitress.

  • >> RUDOLFO: The prostitute?

  • >> ISABELLA: We saw the best tour guide.

  • >> RUDOLFO: You mean the drunk guy? That's what I saw.

  • >> ISABELLA: What do you want?

  • >> RUDOLFO: You wanna know what I want

  • >> ISABELLA: Yeah.

  • >> RUDOLFO: I want UberX, not a god [BLEEP] boat with people taking pictures of us while we're trying to shoot a YouTube video.

  • >> ISABELLA: You know what I want?

  • >> RUDOLFO: No. I don't care.

  • >> ISABELLA: Well I'm telling you anyways.

  • I want to have children.

  • >> RUDOLFO: Okay, on second thought, maybe we should just stay, it's not that bad here, maybe we should just stay.

  • >> ISABELLA: We're not! This is not working.

  • >> RUDOLFO: You know what? You're right. It's not working. Our marriage is over.

  • >> ISABELLA: Okay! Bye!

  • >> RUDOLOFO: Oh wait! Your phone.

  • >> ISABELLA: Yeah, my phone!

  • >> RUDOLOFO: That would have sucked.

  • >> ISABELLA: Idiot!

  • >> RUDOLFO: [BLEEP] you.

  • [MUSIC]

  • Holy [BLEEP].

  • She has 7 million followers?!

  • [MUSIC]

  • Hey.

  • >> ISABELLA: What are you doing here?

  • >> RUDOLFO: Listen.

  • I think I made a mistake.

  • >> ISABELLA: What made you change your mind?

  • >> RUDOLFO: Your instagra-, uh, my, our, my love for you.

  • >> ISABELLA: Really?

  • >> RUDOLFO: Mmhm.

  • Okay. Let's promise right now to never ever fight again.

  • >> ISABELLA: Promise.

  • >> RUDOLFO: I promise.

  • This was a mistake.

  • >> ISABELLA: I hate you.

  • [EXIT MUSIC]

>> OFFICIANT: Isabella, do you take Rudolfo as your husband?

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