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  • and, gentlemen,

  • your punishment's very easy.

  • All you got to do is sell this beautiful turquoise ring.

  • Yeah.

  • We got you dressed up in your Sunday finest.

  • You're gonna go into your office

  • and just make some cold calls and sell this ring.

  • Cold-call the hell out of it,

  • gentlemen.

  • Yeah.

  • Oh, you can't leave the room

  • till it's sold.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Oh, you got to be [bleep] me.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Joe: There she is -- the jewel.

  • Nobody's going to buy that.

  • Whoa, it's [bleep] hot in here.

  • It is hot!

  • Oh, wait. You guys are cold?

  • [ Lamps buzzing ]

  • Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

  • It got like 100 degrees hotter immediately!

  • No, no, no!

  • What is this?!

  • Gentlemen, I hate to point this out,

  • but it's only gonna get hotter in the room.

  • Joe:

  • You better get to work.

  • Murr: This is smart -- they're calling Manhattan.

  • Yep.

  • Uh...

  • Hurry up.

  • I don't know. 7-2-0.

  • [ Dial tone ]

  • Ah, geez.

  • The dial tone comes up quick.

  • They can't think of numbers fast enough.

  • 3-1-6-0.

  • They can't think of numbers fast enough.

  • It's ringing.

  • Do you want me to join in? I'll wait. I'll wait.

  • Yeah, we'll both go.

  • You bring me on as your manager.

  • [ Beeping ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Murr: It's a fax machine!

  • Oh!

  • Oh, my God! This is gonna take hours.

  • Hi. This is Aidan.

  • Aidan, how are you? Oh, my God.

  • I'm so glad to talk to you. My name's Brian Quinn.

  • I'm calling from the Staten Island Turquoise Ring Company.

  • Okay.

  • Listen to me.

  • We're -- The holidays are coming.

  • We're -- We're firing off these tur--

  • We're firing off these --

  • I'm gonna put my manager on.

  • Hi, Aidan. This is Sal Vulcano.

  • We are cold-calling turquoise rings today

  • for sale for the holidays.

  • That's okay. I'm really not interested.

  • Oh, but you haven't heard -- it's from the Philippines.

  • Aides, baby --

  • Why did I call him "Aides"?

  • Aidan? Aidan?

  • We lost Aidan.

  • Well, at least you got somebody on the phone, boys -- progress.

  • Por favor de...

  • [ Laughter ]

  • It's over 125.

  • Like, our flesh is expanding.

  • this is the pizzeria I used when I was a child.

  • You guys

  • are getting desperate.

  • Man #3: Ambrosino's.

  • Hey, Ambrosino's.

  • Oh, my God.

  • This is amazing.

  • This is Brian Quinn. I order from you guys all the time.

  • I'm on that TV show "Impractical Jokers."

  • Q, what's going on, buddy? How's everything?

  • Hey, how you doing?

  • Murr: Oh, my God!

  • Wow.

  • This could work.

  • Listen, man,

  • I have an overabundance

  • of turquoise rings,

  • and I know

  • that Ambrosino's Pizza

  • is my favorite pizza on Staten Island --

  • the best pizza, man. Great stuff.

  • Yeah, and I see you in here all the time. I know.

  • Great, so, what happened

  • is Sal and I

  • came in the possession of a surplus of turquoise rings.

  • I'm unloading them for the low, low price of $19.99.

  • Mike, that's 1-9-9-niner.

  • Wow, that's a bargain.

  • You're damn right

  • it is.

  • And guess what -- we can deliver it.

  • We can deliver it today. We can deliver it to someone's house.

  • We can deliver it to someone's job.

  • Residential,

  • office building.

  • [ Indistinct shouting ]

  • Okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay.

  • They got it!

  • We're just very happy,

  • 'cause we've been trying to sell it all day, so...

  • Oh, my God!

  • Wait.

  • I'm the only guy that's bought -- that's buying on this?

  • All right, so, $19.99.

  • Oh, wait. Hold on. Listen. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.

  • Whoa.

  • 'Cause now you got me a little wary here.

  • Yeah!

  • What could we do --

  • What could we do to prove to you that this is real, Mike?

  • Uh...

  • Think about it --

  • why would I call this pizzeria

  • unless it was the Q that comes in there all the time?

  • Also, didn't you say what you always order?

  • I ordered a hot cherry pepper.

  • On top of that, I don't care whether I buy a dollar slice

  • or a $20 pizza --

  • I'm throwing money in that tip jar.

  • You know that.

  • All right, Q, listen,

  • just 'cause you said the hot cherry pepper,

  • I'm gonna do it it for you, 'cause...

  • Yes!

  • Yes! Yes! Yes!

  • Okay!

  • No! No!

  • Oh, there they go.

  • Damn it!

and, gentlemen,

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