Name: 【TED】Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan: A queer vision of love and marriage (A queer vision of love and marriage | Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan)
Uploaded: 2017-04-27T17:46:50.000Z
Duration: 17 min 8 s
Description: Thousands of YouTube videos with English-Chinese subtitles! Now you can learn to understand native speakers, expand your vocabulary, and improve your pronunciation...

Tiq Milan: Our first conversation was on Facebook,

We shared over 3,000 messages between us,

and it was during those 72 hours that I knew she was going to be my wife.

We didn't wait any prerequisite amount of time for our courtship;

we told each other the vulnerable truths up front:

which means the F on my birth certificate should have stood for "False,"

felt like walking with pebbles in my shoes.

it pained me with every step I took forward.

Kim Katrin Milan: I am a cisgender queer woman.

Cisgender means the gender I was assigned at birth

this is just one way of describing the many different ways

it refers to the way that I'm not restricted by gender

I've identified in a few different ways --

queerness encompasses all of the layers of who I am and how I've loved.

meant that I could trust his courtship from the very beginning.

we're so often excluded from institutions and traditions.

And this meant that we were able to commit to each other

So often what we're told is this idea of the "Golden Rule,"

that we should treat other people the way we want to be treated.

is that it assumes that we are the standard for other people,

We need to treat other people the way they want to be treated,

I couldn't assume that the kind of love that Tiq needed

So I asked him everything -- about his fears, his insecurities --

TM: I didn't know what kind of love I needed.

and tell me that I was unworthy of their love because I was trans.

that we've created around transgender people.

It's reasoned, justified and often signed into law.

And I was a heartbeat away from internalizing that message,

with a long history of community work behind us,

and big, huge dreams of a family in front of us,

I've been a lifelong traveler and a bit of an orphan,

I often kind of sum up the differences in our strengths

TM: We have marginalized identities but we don't live marginalized lives.

Being queer and trans is about creating new ways of existing.

in a world that is often cruel and violent

to women who are too proud and too freeing.

under the auspices that she was going to be my helper or my rib,

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【TED】Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan: A queer vision of love and marriage (A queer vision of love and marriage | Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan)

authentic

incredible

incredibly

applause