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  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Welcome back to the show.

  • It's our favorite time of year here at "Full

  • Frontal," Black History Month.

  • It's that special time where we celebrate the accomplishments

  • of great black heroes, remind ourselves that white people may

  • have made some mistakes, and--

  • [NERVOUS LAUGHTER] we're still making them.

  • Never thought I'd be nostalgic for Kindle's Pepsi commercial.

  • These days we're getting rid of a lot of America's racist stuff

  • like the occasional statue, but that's just the obvious stuff.

  • Like glitter after a bachelorette party,

  • you may think you got it all, but it's lurking

  • where you least expect it.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • So instead of picking one thing, we're

  • going to tell you about how everything you

  • see or use or enjoy is racist.

  • Welcome to the Racist Roadshow.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Really, I am shocked.

  • I had no idea.

  • [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

  • Suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

  • My grandpa was very, very racist.

  • [INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

  • I'm Samantha Bee.

  • This is Racist Roadshow.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • Thanks for bringing this wonderful record

  • to the roadshow.

  • What can you tell me about it?

  • Well, when I was in junior high,

  • we learned square dancing in gym.

  • And my grandmother gave me her old square dancing records.

  • And was your grandmother racist?

  • Well, it is a tradition in our family.

  • Let's see.

  • There's no wrinkles in the packaging.

  • The record has a minor scratch, but that

  • doesn't affect the value.

  • How would you feel if I told you the history

  • of teaching schoolchildren to square dance is racist?

  • Huh.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That's right.

  • Square dancing isn't just the whitest thing

  • you ever durn saw, it's actually the official dance

  • of white supremacy.

  • Industrialist Henry Ford hated jazz.

  • He thought it was a Jewish conspiracy

  • to use black music to get good white people into booze,

  • cigarettes, and sex.

  • And was it?

  • No.

  • That is what's racist about it.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Tight.

  • Henry Ford funded square dancing

  • tutorials, events, and competitions, sparking

  • a square dancing revival.

  • Then the square dancing jazz prevention program was

  • introduced into public schools.

  • That's why you randomly had a square dancing unit in PE.

  • Great work Henry Ford.

  • And no white person ever drank, smoked, or had sex ever again.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • That looks delicious.

  • Can you tell me about it?

  • Yeah.

  • It's a chocolate cone with chocolate sprinkles

  • and it's been in my family for generations.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Now some people say that the brown sprinkles

  • are called "jimmies," which always

  • sounds a little racist to me.

  • The term "jimmies" is used in some parts of the country,

  • particularly in Boston.

  • So I could see why you'd suspect racism.

  • But unfortunately, there's no proof.

  • Oh, that's so disappointing.

  • But if your ancestors got this cone from an ice cream truck,

  • congratulations.

  • Your cone does have some racism.

  • Oh, goodie.

  • [ICE CREAM TRUCK MUSIC PLAYING]

  • That catchy little tune you hear

  • as the ice cream truck approaches

  • is called, well, that.

  • The song was written by Harry C. Brown, who

  • took the music from "Turkey in the Straw,"

  • added racist lyrics, and had a hugely popular

  • minstrel hit on his hands.

  • And you thought the "Ghostbusters"

  • reboot ruined your childhood.

  • OK, so what do you have here today?

  • I have this pin from a popular and litigious

  • talking mouse cartoon.

  • Wow.

  • When I saw you come in here with this, I lit up with sadness.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • Cartoons might be one of the most racist things here

  • tonight.

  • Crikey.

  • One of the first forms of popular entertainment

  • produced by white Americans was blackface minstrelsy.

  • White performers, many of whom had never even met

  • a black person, would blacken their faces with cork

  • and play super made up stereotypical characters.

  • Blackface minstrelsy was invented in the 1830s.

  • And by the 1840s, it was a phenomenon.

  • It was their NCIS, wildly popular

  • and went on far too long.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • If you want to know what blackface minstrel shows look

  • like, you can find out by watching cartoons.

  • Ever wonder why so many cartoon characters wear gloves?

  • It's not because they're fancy waiters.

  • The costumes, character design, and extreme violence

  • without consequences that you still see in cartoons

  • are holdovers from blackface minstrelsy.

  • You know, so kids have something to watch while they eat

  • their racist ice cream sundaes.

  • Oh my god, I wish an anvil would fall on my head right

  • about now.

  • I love this game.

  • Lightning round!

  • [CHEERING]

  • A vintage roll of color film.

  • Racist.

  • Color film was originally only calibrated

  • to capture white skin tones, like in "La La Land."

  • Next.

  • My grandmother left me this antique speculum.

  • Gross.

  • Also racist.

  • The father of modern gynecology developed his

  • techniques by experimenting on African-American

  • slaves without anesthesia.

  • I've been using it as a salad server.

  • Next.

  • It's the lyrics to "The Star-Spangled Banner."

  • Ooh, check out the third verse, bro.

  • Oh my god.

  • Next.

  • A map of the world.

  • Racist.

  • Haven't you seen "West Wing"?

  • Next.

  • No.

  • It's the concept of the state of Oregon.

  • OK.

  • Oregon was originally founded as a whites-only state.

  • To this day, only 2.1% of the population is black, so.

  • That's not just racism, that's effective racism.

  • Next.

  • I brought this precious heirloom

  • in from my actual family.

  • But now that I know the premise behind this bit,

  • could I not do this and just leave?

  • Yeah man, do you.

  • Thanks so much for joining us on the Racist Roadshow.

  • If you find something you think might be racist,

  • ask someone black.

  • - No, Google it. - OK.

  • [LAUGHTER]

  • It probably is.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • So from all of us here at Racist Roadshow,

  • remember, racism is everywhere.

  • Always feel uncomfortable for the rest of your life.

  • We'll be right back.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

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B2 US racist square dancing laughter racism ice cream

Racist Roadshow | February 7, 2018 Act 2 | Full Frontal on TBS

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    Sereta posted on 2018/03/19
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