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  • Hi. James from EngVid. We are gathered here today for this thing called "life". That's

  • a line from Prince. And I have to apologize because one of you out there said that my

  • song was not music from Star Wars, but from Mozart. My apologies. But I'm still using

  • it because it sounds, you know, like something horrible is about to happen, and it is. I'm

  • going to teach you a lesson on weddings. And depending on who you are, it's a good thing

  • or a bad thing. But anyway, here we go. One of the things we're going to talk about -- we'll

  • talk about the rituals of weddings, and I'm going to give you some vocabulary to go with

  • that. And just to start off the show -- I don't know who this guy is, but anyway. He's

  • saying, "Will you marry me" to this beautiful young girl. And she's saying, "Yes. I will.

  • Is that a diamond ring" -- another word for "wedding band" -- "or Mr. E?" We'll find out.

  • Let's talk about weddings. Okay? Well, before we go there, here's a little joke I'd like

  • to put to you. There are two things you will be invited to. And both of them signal the

  • death of something or the death of life. Okay? The first is a funeral. And I did a video

  • on that earlier. Go find it. That's where my friend corrected me. And the second one

  • is a wedding. It is the death of your single life. So what we're going to do is I'll do

  • the magic click, take a step out, and then we're going to start the lesson. Are you ready?

  • Let's go on our journey.

  • "And dearly departed" -- sorry. Marriage. I keep forgetting because that death thing

  • keeps coming to my mind. Anyway. So what we want to look at is -- I told you I would give

  • you some vocabulary and explain a little bit, give you a little history. It's not too much,

  • but it will help you to remember and understand why we do what we do. Ready? Let's go to be board.

  • Mr. E is gone, but his presence will not be missed. Okay in fact, I'll put a little E

  • here. We're going to talk about the engagement. Okay? There you go, Mr. E. He's not looking

  • too happy about being in this particular situation. We say the wedding is a particular day, and

  • it's true. In fact, there are special names for weddings when you're getting married.

  • But before that we've -- I consider the wedding starting with the engagement because that's

  • the first time you make a promise to join -- look at that. Engagement. You get a ring.

  • Surprise, surprise. You get that engagement ring, and you say, "Will you marry me?" The

  • person says yes. You put it on. Boom. You're fianc�s. You've started the first step

  • to getting married.

  • A little thing about wedding rings. I'm not sure if you know about it, so I'll just take

  • a good look at it. Do you know what this symbolizes? Well, boys and girls, in the old days, the

  • wedding band -- that's another word for "wedding ring", the "wedding band" -- the wedding ring

  • told other men that this woman was taken. So when the woman would put it on, other men

  • would go, "Oh, no she's off the market." In other words, "You can't date her anymore because

  • somebody else has bought the woman." Glad those days are over. Yeah? You just bought

  • a diamond ring, son. It's not over. So engagement. It starts with a ring. And just before the

  • wedding, people -- you know, these are old, kind of rituals or things we used to do. Young

  • people would get together. They wouldn't have anything. They might have lived on a farm.

  • So they needed to get things to start their new life together, and not everyone had a

  • lot of money. We're talking of the times where people were kings and queens and princes.

  • So the poor didn't have a lot. So when you would have a bridal shower or a stag night,

  • well, the bridal shower was to get gifts to help the couple start their new life together.

  • I mean, really, this is about 150 years old, but it's still long because you're young,

  • son. Not like me. Okay. So the bridal shower, if you get invited to that, cha-ching! It's

  • the beginning of what I call the "wedding money machine". You have to show up with a

  • gift for the bride because she's starting a new life and you should pay for it. That's

  • right. Unlike the bachelor party -- old guys call it "stag night" because stags have, you

  • know, the big buck. It's sort of like a horror story -- deer. You know Bambi's mommy? Well,

  • Bambi's daddy would be a stag. He would be big and strong. It would be your final night

  • to be a big, strong man because now, you're about the get married. I love it. One ring

  • shall control them all. Anyway.

  • So the stag night was a man saying goodbye to being a man and now to be a husband. And

  • the bridal shower was the time for the woman to the bow, "Give me the goods. Give me the

  • good stuff." Okay? So she'd be getting stuff.

  • Now, let's talk about the wedding itself. Because this happens, and there's a period

  • of time in between. And it's called your "engagement period" until we get to the wedding day. Now,

  • here's what's funny. Here's the funny thing. On the wedding day, it's actually a whole

  • day, but the wedding really consists of a few minutes, okay? Now, on the wedding day,

  • you're going to have a wedding party. I know I made it sound like a funeral, but there

  • is actually a wedding party. It's not what you're thinking. The wedding party are, sort

  • of -- today, we call it, like, your "posse" or your "group" or -- what was that program

  • called? The guy had a -- well, whatever. You've got your tribe with you. The woman had what's

  • called the "bridesmaids", and the men had what's called the "groomsmen". Now, the bridesmaids

  • are made up of her good friends or women that are important in her life. And the groomsmen

  • are made up for the man of all the important men in his life. Okay? So this could be his

  • extra brothers. And this could be her sisters and her best friends.

  • Now, of the people you like the best -- you will love this part -- you have your maid

  • of honor. It could be your mother or sister, but really a sister or your best, best friend.

  • And the best man would probably be your favorite brother or your best friend. These are the

  • people that head these groups, like, the leaders of these particular groups. And then, you

  • have the bride and the groom. The groom -- some of you don't know this word because it only

  • exists for one day in your life. It's when a man is about to be married. On his wedding

  • day, he is a groom. While the bride is only a bride on her wedding day. Okay? And this

  • only lasts for about a couple of hours because you have to understand after they exchange

  • rings -- that's what this is for. Okay? When they exchange the rings, they suddenly become

  • "husband and wife". So you have a few hours in your life that you will be a bride or a

  • groom. "Bride" is for girl; "groom" is for boy. Okay?

  • So this is the wedding party, not the party you're thinking. Sorry. But when you're invited

  • to be on the wedding party, it's an honor because they're saying you're special. That's

  • why I said it's like your sister or your best friend or your brother or your best friend.

  • You're being given an honor, okay?

  • A woman has to wear a special dress on her wedding day, and it's called the "wedding

  • gown", sometimes called the "wedding dress" now. Why am I mentioning this? Guys just get

  • to wear a suit, so it's not a big deal. A suit or a tuxedo. The wedding gown has a specific

  • thing or meaning. And many women search for months to get the perfect dress. You see,

  • the wedding gown came back -- this is also about 150 years old. Because it started after

  • -- because a long time ago, women couldn't afford to buy one dress to wear for one day

  • and throw in the garbage or put away. This was just crazy. But about 150 years ago, they

  • started getting special dresses only for the wedding. And they call it the "wedding gown".

  • Now, the wedding gown was supposed to be in white. And it used to come with a veil. A

  • "veil" is something to cover the face. And it was for innocence and purity and secrecy

  • because she was a virgin. And she would be veiled until revealed to her husband. Okay?

  • Now, in the Western world, white meant innocence and purity. But if you go to the Middle East

  • or in Asia, it was in red and orange. Now, you might think that that woman must have

  • had lots and lots of sex, but that's not why. You see, for Asians -- so if you're wondering

  • why in your country -- you're like, "Oh, my god, our women are so dirty." It's not. It's

  • meant for festivity, to be fun and have fun and be exciting. So they're saying you're

  • entering a new phase of your life where -- a phase means period -- where you're going to

  • be having children and family and it's great and it's fun. So they have orange and red.

  • Or the red is to kill your husband in ten years. No. Orange and red. While the white

  • in the West was for innocence and purity. Okay?

  • So she wears this dress; they exchange vows; they get married. Now, she says, "I do". He

  • says, "I do". And that's where, you know, your vows and your promises -- we've got it

  • up here. So come over here in a second. After that, you get invited to the reception. Cha-ching.

  • More money, people, more money. Okay? I talked about up here the bridal shower. On the reception,

  • you get a free dinner -- dinner, okay? In the Western world, it's usually chicken and

  • beef with some kind of mash and rice and vegetables. I've been to a few. And then, you must bring

  • a gift of equal or greater value. Isn't that nice? Okay. Oh, and before I forget, pops

  • or dads out there, if you're -- you know, girls, bring your father in to watch this

  • video. You should. And explain to him that in the Western world, the father pays for

  • all of this. So if I don't bring a gift, it's a free meal on him. Food for thought. Okay?

  • So these are -- well, this is how the wedding day basically proceeds. Okay? This is your

  • basic wedding outline. But let's talk about some of the rituals there. I gave you one

  • idea with the wedding gown, why people wear the colors they wear, right? Or why they wear

  • a veil. But let's look at some of the rituals. There are four that are involved in a wedding

  • that I found are important and you want to pay attention to.

  • The wedding vows. These are the promises people make to each other about what they will and

  • won't do in marriage. Love, honor, and obey because I'm a dog. I'm joking, but I mean,

  • this is the basic one in the Western world. We say we'll love, honor, and obey you. And

  • usually, by the way, it's for the women. The men don't say that. But the vows, really,

  • especially when they're important, people make their own now, which is really cool.

  • And they say the promises they want to do in the wedding to make it -- or the marriage

  • to make it happy. Right? And joyful for both people. And I think that's kind of cool, don't

  • you? Obey me.

  • Next, exchanging the rings. I gave you a little bit when I said it was to show that a man

  • had bought a woman, right? I didn't finish it, but it's kind of cool. In other countries

  • -- I think it's Russia -- they wear it on the right finger. In the Western world, especially

  • Germany, England, France and whatnot, we wear it on the left. You might wonder why. This

  • is from the Romans. You see, they believed there are a vein -- which is what carries

  • blood -- that came from the heart that was directly linked to your ring finger. So when

  • they put it on, it was to capture the love from your heart in the ring. Kind of cool,

  • huh? Stick with me. I'll teach you a few things. So now you know why someone wears their wedding

  • band or engagement ring on their left. It's to capture all that love that goes directly

  • to their heart. Okay?

  • At the end of our weddings, we usually throw rice. Everyone throws rice. Not so much now

  • because it was killing birds. I'm serious. True story. We were killing birds. We'd be

  • throwing them up. We'd go, "You're married", and the birds would fall from the sky. "They're

  • celebrating, too. They're dying." But the throwing of rice or throwing of confetti or

  • paper in the air after a wedding, if you always wonder why in our movies they get married,

  • they throw things in the air, it was for fertility. They thought if they threw a lot of stuff

  • in the air, the people walking under it would have many, many babies, and it was a good

  • thing. You like that? Yeah. It's cool, huh? I'm about the end it on that. "Confetti, yay.

  • I'm getting married." Okay?

  • But before I do, because this is an international school that we have here, I want to bring

  • out one more which I found interesting: the breaking of the glass. Sometimes, you watch

  • North American movies, and you'll see some couples go [sound of glass breaking],

  • and they break glass. And you think, "All of them do this." Actually, this is a Jewish tradition.

  • Just as I mentioned that Middle Eastern people have different colored wedding gowns or they

  • wear veils, in the Jewish tradition, they break glass. They dance, and they break the

  • glass. And it's to show that this is some serious stuff. "This is serious business.

  • So serious, we're going to break some glass in here." Really, they do. I'm not making

  • this up. I wish I could.

  • I hope this video has brought you and I close together and made a great relationship. Come,

  • Mr. E, up there. See? We're engaged now in conversation and learning, and this is a good

  • thing. Anyway. I've got to go. What I would like to say now is the usual. I want you to

  • go to my triple W, www.engvid.com, "Eng" as in English, "vid" as in "video", where you

  • can learn about weddings and funerals, and other of life's interesting little acts.

  • Have a good one. It's been a pleasure.

Hi. James from EngVid. We are gathered here today for this thing called "life". That's

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