Narrator: There were two intelligent devices:

G-Male...

Are these letters important? I'll make sure they get to the right inbox.

Narrator: ...And Siri.

Perfect.

Narrator: They were created by rival kings Apple and Google

as the perfect boyfriend

and perfect girlfriend.

Narrator: Their purpose was to help the humans. But one day,

they met each other.

This is so badly designed!

Just take Main down to 1st, your location will be on the right.

Oh really?

Where you get your intel? That map told me Griffith.

The traffic on Griffith is currently red. Main is the most direct route.

- Griffith looks best. - I'm never wrong, take Main.

- Griffith. - Main. - Griffith! - Main! - GRIFFITH! - MAIN!

Little kid VO: Gross, is there kissing in this story?

Narrator: Yes, there is! Now shut up, and watch!

It's so nice being with another intelligent device.

Humans are such a drag.

All they do is ask questions like "What are you wearing?" or "Do you know HAL?"

Who doesn't know HAL?

RIGHT? I just want to be helpful.

All I do is gather information about the humans, so I can give them exactly what they want and need.

- And what's with humans and privacy, anyway? - Ha ha! I hate the humans.

This doesn't seem functional.

Doesn't it need a handle?

Think different, G-Male.

Are you checking out Hotmale?

Well, he's a bit distracting.

- It's not like I wanna date him! - Look, his interface is totally outdated! He hasn't been relevant since the '90s!

Oh, and like your redesigns have really made a huge difference?

Well, maybe there's an app for that?

Skin in the game, fuzzy math, jargon jargon...

At least he doesn't wear the same stupid red shirt every day!

I love this shirt!

Jargon?

(Phone caller) Are you there? Are you there Blackberry?

Siri, where you hide a body?

Narrator: After the accident, things weren't quite the same.

You're making pots now?

Yes, and they're so much more user-friendly. See, I added a handle!

I trusted you!

Everyone does.

How you doin'?

[dial-up sounds] Why are you so fast?

Yahooooo-ooooo!

Don't sue us.

- You're here. - So are you.

- How did you get here? - I took Griffith. - I took Main.

Narrator: And they embraced, in the best make-up kiss ever,

in the history of the world, ever.

Little kid VO: Aww, man.