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  • PETER: Hey, thanks for letting

  • Hey, you wanna have some locker room talk?

  • TRUMP: I moved on her, actually.

  • PETER: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

  • That's not locker room talk.

  • I meant like good play, good pass, like that kind of thing.

  • TRUMP: I moved on air and, I failed.

  • I'll admit it.

  • PETER: Well, as long as you didn't try to [bleep] her

  • and she was single.

  • TRUMP: I did try and [bleep] her.

  • She was married.

  • PETER: Aw, you're awesome!

  • Hey, you ever thought of being President?

  • TRUMP: And I moved on her very heavily.

  • In fact, I took her out furniture shopping.

  • PETER: Aw, sweet move.

  • Was it Levitz?

  • TRUMP: She wanted to get some furniture.

  • I said, I'll show you where they have some nice furniture.

  • PETER: [laughs]. Levitz.

  • TRUMP: But I couldn't get there.

  • And she was married.

  • Then all of a sudden I ser her, she's

  • now got the big phony tits and everything.

  • She's totally changed her look.

  • PETER: Well, it is 2005, everything's changing.

  • Which reminds me, I have an idea for this thing called

  • Twitter, where crazy people can bash

  • ladies and minorities at 3 AM.

  • TRUMP: Sheesh, your girl's hot as shit.

  • In the purple.

  • PETER: Oh, also Uber.

  • I invented it if you're listening

  • to this in the future.

  • TRUMP: I better use some Tic Tacs just a case

  • I start kissing her.

  • PETER: That's the cheapest breath mint.

  • I thought you were a billionaire.

  • TRUMP: You know, I'm automatically

  • attracted to beautiful-- I just start kissing them.

  • It's like a magnet.

  • Just kiss.

  • I don't even wait.

  • And when you'e a star, they let you do it.

  • You can do anything. BUSH: Whatever you want.

  • PETER: What, like grab them by the hand?

  • TRUMP: Grab them by the pussy.

  • PETER: Oh my!

  • TRUMP: You can do anything.

  • BUSH: Down below, pull the handle.

  • PETER: Ah, he can't open it because he has tiny hands.

PETER: Hey, thanks for letting

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