I wanted to tell you a story,

something that happened to me at Vidcon last June.

So I got into my hotel pretty late,

went to say hi to a couple of youtubers that I know,

and we're down socializing in this main area,

and this woman walks up.

She's friends with a couple of these people

so I introduce myself, say hi,

and the conversation continues.

And at one point, out of nowhere,

she just starts to attack me.

"You think you're hot shit, don't you,

with that big baggy sweater,

like you don't give a fuck."

"You know the only reason people like you

is because you're a cute girl, right?"

At this point, I'm just shocked.

I was like : "Yeah, I'm gonna go now."

I went back to my hotel room,

called Nate and just cried.

I didn't understand why this women who I just met,

who was super popular on Youtube,

knew nothing about me,

would have such animosity toward me.

When I was growing up, pretty much all my friends were guys,

I really distanced myself from women,

thought that they were catty and shallow,

got a little older and realized :

"Oh my God! I'm a sexist!"

I realized that I felt like I was in competition with other women,

competition to be the prettiest, to be the smartest,

have the most friends, whatever.

I think that, at least in some ways,

my experience at Vidcon and my feelings about women growing up

are related.

They both come back to a phenomenon that I'm going to call :

girl hate.

Girl hate is tearing fellow women down

for petty and unwarranted reasons.

It's thinking that you're the only woman

who likes to read or plays sports, or plays videogames,

because all the other women are too busy

being catty, overly emotional drama-queens.

Girl hate is :

"Oh my God, I would never wear that much make-up."

"She tries so hard, it just makes her look desperate."

"You think you're hot shit, don't you?"

It's a willingness to backstab and humiliate.

It's being hypercritical of each other,

degrading each other's bodies,

and carrying a bitterness toward fellow women.

From birth, women are bombarded with messages

that tell them their worth is tied to how they look.

In order to be important, valuable and worth loving,

you have to look hot.

The right hair, the right body

The list goes on.

But it doesn't end with your body.

You also need to be fiercely intelligent

so that people don't think that you're a bimbo.

And don't forget to show just the right amount of emotions

so they don't think you're a cold bitch or overly emotional.

Oh, and make sure you pick out the right wardrobe

because you don't wanna be a prude or a slut.

And while you're at it,

make sure you find a high-powered career

that will also allow you to be the perfect mom.

No pressure or anything.

It creates this deep-seated expectation within ourselves

to be perfect.

It's a little voice in the back of your head that says:

"You're not good enough!"

It isn't any wonder then

that there is an atmosphere of competition amongst women

that sometimes results in feeling bitter,

frightened, tearing down others to raise yourself up

No suprises here.

How do we end this madness?

Ending girl hate requires all of us

to recognize when we're girl hating.

What's the difference between girl hate

and just hating someone who sucks?

Girl hate usually isn't deserved.

Of course, it's easy to justify the negative feelings

you might have for someone,

which is why ending girl hate

also requires us to be honest with ourselves,

to really examine why we feel the way we do about someone.

The hope is that by becoming more honest and self-aware,

that we can cultivate a world of girl love!

Girl love is supporting each other,

it's hoping to see each other succeed,

it's fighting together against some bullshit

instead of fighting amongst each other.

Girl love is saying :

"Fuck these unrealistic expectations!

You don't have to be perfect.

And neither do I!"

Girl love is recognizing the positive in each other

and building strong relationships off of it.

When I started to bring girl love into my life,

not only did I feel more confident,

but I also made a bunch of female friends

and realized how kick-ass women are!

I'm sure for some of you, that sounds kind of silly,

especially if you're not a woman,

but for me, you know, it was kind of a big thing.

Anyhow, I just thought I'd share some of my experiences.

I love y'all very much,

and I will be back with a new video soon.