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  • Alriiight, we made it!

  • See? I told you getting here would be a cakewalk!

  • A cakewalk?

  • H- How was that a cakewalk?!

  • We got here in one piece, didn't we?

  • But the two guys who came with us didn't!

  • W- We didn't even stop to help!

  • The point is, WE made it here alive.

  • It's what they would have wanted.

  • No, what they wanted was the zombies to stop eating their faces!

  • Ah geez, you're being such a Debbie Downer.

  • Y'know, a reaaal Whitney Whiney.

  • A reaaal Colin Complainalot.

  • A real *buuurp* little bitch.

  • Alright, okay, stop crushing my balls

  • I get it. Lets just get the food supplies we need.

  • Oh great, the lights aren't working.

  • Well, the way I see it, you have two choices:

  • You can go- y-y-y-you know

  • You can go to the back room and check the circuit breakers

  • Or you can gouge your eyes out with this rusty screwdriver.

  • I know which one would be funnier but

  • Y-y-y-you know, y-y-you- y-you do- you do you.

  • W- what?! Why is that even an option?!

  • Because this is a parody of those videogames where you have to make tough choices all the time.

  • W-w-was that not clear?

  • You need me to say it again, because I will?

  • Okay, okay, I got it, alright? I'm not going to gouge my eyes out.

  • Fine, g-g-g-g-go check the circuits then.

  • *buuurp* Such a bitch.

  • Oh good, you found it.

  • Well yeah, it wasn't hard you know

  • I-i-i-it's the only interactable thing in this room.

  • Okay so, y-y-y-you got three choices:

  • You can turn on the emergency lighting

  • Turn on the main generator

  • Or stick your penis in a Scorpion nest.

  • *pinces menacingly*

  • What?! W-why are you even giving me that as an option?!

  • Because we live in a democracy

  • and every American has the God-given right to stick their penis in a scorpion nest if they want to ya commie.

  • You know, I- I don't know. I think, you know, what? Do you want to?

  • *buuurp* Of course not, what- what's wrong with you?

  • *Turns on lighting menacingly*

  • YES! I did it! The lights are back on!

  • Alright, now lets grab the food and ru-

  • Ohhh shit!

  • *Slumps and waddles over, menacingly*

  • AHHHHHHHH!

  • It's a zombie!

  • Quick!

  • Do something!

  • *Scorpions crunch menacingly*

  • Well this didn't work.

  • You're on your own kid.

  • *Unneccesary and menacing close-up of Rick's crotch*

  • Ohhhh what do I do what do I do?

  • Well, the way I see it, you've got two choices:

  • Number 1

  • *buuurp* Y-y-you let it e-e-e-e-eat your face

  • That's not an option!

  • I think you'll find it is.

  • Shit! What's the second option?!

  • Option number 2, you have physical intercourse with the zombie.

  • What the FUCK is wrong with you?!

  • Eh, couple y-you know, scorpion stings,

  • But, it could be worse!

  • I could be you right now!

  • Well, can't I just run away?

  • O-or fight the zombie?

  • O-or use that rusty screwdriver as a weapon?

  • Hey, I gave you the chance to have the screwdriver in your eye and you said no.

  • You made your bed now sleep in it.

  • That sure was a sticky situation.

  • But we made it out alive.

  • I can still feel the maggots.

  • Hey, at least you can feel yours.

  • My- my junk is as numb as a brick!

  • You know, this whole thing was your fault.

  • All the options you presented were insane and in no way helpful!

  • You know, y-y-you y-y-y-y-you had the third option of doing nothing.

  • Doing NOTHING?!

  • Yeah. We didn't HAVE to turn on the store lights.

  • We COULD have just used the torches to find the food

  • and avoid the- the entire traumatic y- experience altogether.

  • Y'know. Y- you did what you wanted and y'know, live and learn.

  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Alriiight, we made it!

Subtitles and vocabulary

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B2 US option screwdriver scorpion zombie rusty penis

Rick and Morty: The Walking Dead (Telltale Games)

  • 207 8
    Jin Wang posted on 2017/12/29
Video vocabulary