kingdom, there was a beautiful princess with skin as white as

snow and hair as black as night.

-Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

Her hair is not black.

It's raven, and she's 18 years old.

And her skin has never seen the sun, so

of course it's good.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): This spring.

-Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?

Snow White.

What?

-What?

-Snow White.

-Uh.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): A classic tale--

-Do you want to hear it?

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): Gets a new wrinkle.

-They're not wrinkles.

They're just crinkles.

Banish her to the woods.

Is it done?

-Just as you instructed.

-I'm impressed.

You're not as pathetic and wimpy as

I have always believed.

-That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): You're invited to discover--

-The prince is rich.

I'm going to marry him, and then my financial problems

will be solved.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): An untold adventure.

-Organize a ball.

We are going to sweep this kid off his feet.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): A romance.

-I think Snow White is the most beautiful woman in the

whole world.

-Agree to disagree.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): Mystery.

-Who are you?

-Snow White.

-Snow who?

-Snow way.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): Power.

-This doesn't fit, your highness.

-Well, you must have shrunk it.

Cinch me up.

I knew I was the same size.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): And magic.

-I'll use the love potion.

Puppy love.

What am I supposed to do with a puppy?

-You can rub my tummy.

THE QUEEN (OFFSCREEN): Fetch.

-The Queen is getting married.

-Take back your kingdom.

I've read so many stories where the

prince saves the princess.

It's time we changed that ending.

-You're with the bandits?

-You're with the Queen.

-Should we help her?

-She's doing pretty good on her own.

-If you weren't trying to stab me right now, I'd be tempted

to kiss you.

-The bandits' leader is a she?

-The bandits' leader is Snow White.

-Who feels like crashing a wedding?

-And here I was, having such a good day.

Everyone has magic within them.

-Yes.

-Snap.

I definitely have a happily ever after thing going on.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): Mirror Mirror.

-Anyone know how to break a spell?

-Say hello to my little friend.

NARRATOR (OFFSCREEN): Experience the untold

adventures of Snow White.