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  • To be, or not to be, that is the question:

  • whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

  • the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

  • or to take arms against a sea of troubles,

  • and by opposing end them: to die, to sleep,

  • to sleep, perchance to dream; ah, the ...

  • You get the idea.

  • The MicroMachine Man, here, presenting a genuine original,

  • colossally collectible, most midget miniature replicas

  • of the real things ...

  • MicroMachines!

  • A lot of people know me as the MicroMachine Man,

  • or the FedEx guy, or "Terrible" Testeverde

  • from Saved by the Bell, or just that guy who talks fast.

  • In fact, I was in the Guinness Book

  • as the world's fastest talker,

  • and so, for the last 40 years,

  • if you needed a fast talker, I was your go-to guy.

  • Is that okay, did you get everything you need?

  • I mean, I can repeat it again if you want.

  • You sure you don't want me to do it again?

  • Because I could do it again ...

  • (stopwatch ticking)

  • When I was 12 years old,

  • I wanted to get into the Guinness Book of World Records.

  • So I figured the only thing I could really do,

  • since I wasn't gonna eat a car or swallow a lead pipe,

  • was to lock myself in a room and teach myself fast talking.

  • And I did that with the Hamlet soliloquy.

  • To be or, or not to be, that is the question.

  • To be or, or not to be, that is the question.

  • (overlapping speech)

  • Years later, I'm at this party, fancy California,

  • Beverly Hills party, and a friend of mine

  • is trying to pick up this Valley girl.

  • He's from New York and talking pretty quickly,

  • and she looks at him and says,

  • "Like, oh my gosh, are you, like,

  • "the world's fastest talker?"

  • And he says, "No, as a matter of fact, this person is."

  • They called me over and I did

  • one of my little party routines.

  • (mumbles tongue twister)

  • And a guy walked over, and he says, "That's incredible!

  • "I'm a producer, and I'm gonna put you on a show."

  • I went on the show, and I did the fast-talking,

  • thinking that would be it,

  • and all of a sudden the phone starts ringing.

  • I'm booked all over the place,

  • and I manage to make a living out of it!

  • (lively percussion)

  • I can speak as fast as 11 words a second.

  • Now, I never do 11 words a second for TV,

  • but let me do Peter Piper at 11 words a second.

  • (mumbles tongue twister)

  • You can kinda hear me going puh-puh-puh,

  • but that's really all you're kinda getting.

  • But when you do TV, there's visual reinforcement;

  • people see you and do whatever,

  • so I do about seven to eight words a second.

  • That would sound something like ...

  • Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;

  • a peck of pickled pepper did Peter Piper pick;

  • if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper,

  • where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

  • Now, on radio, I have to do it even a little slower,

  • because you have no visual reinforcement;

  • you're not seeing me.

  • So then I do about five to six words a second,

  • so it sounds something like ...

  • Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers;

  • a peck of pickled pepper did Peter Piper pick;

  • if Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper,

  • where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

  • And that's kinda the secret to my success, because ...

  • if you can't understand what I'm saying,

  • they're not gonna pay me the big bucks.

  • (frenetic blips)

  • Then, the very first commercial I did

  • was the Federal Express commercial.

  • Okay, you, there's travel plans.

  • I need to be in New York on Monday, LA on Tuesday,

  • New York on Wednesday, LA on Thursday ...

  • It is, to this day, the most award-winning commercial

  • in the history of advertising.

  • The final scene, I'm sitting behind a desk,

  • and I'm going, you know, "Dave, what's the deal

  • "with the deal, are we dealing?

  • "Dave, it's a deal with Don.

  • "If it's a deal with Doc.

  • It's a deal, good, I'm putting you down.

  • It's a deal with Dick; Dick, what's deal with ...

  • So I did the thing like 29 times without making a mistake.

  • And the director said to me,

  • "What, are you like a machine?

  • "You never make a mistake?

  • I said, "You want a mistake?

  • "I'll give you a mistake the next time."

  • So I said, "Dave, it's a dork with Dick, Don, and duck."

  • And that's the take he ended up putting in the commercial.

  • It's a deal with Dave, Dick, and Dave.

  • Don, it's a dock with Dick, Dave, and duck.

  • (tape rewinding)

  • Don it's a dock with Dick, Dave, and duck.

  • The first time I saw it, I called him.

  • He said, "John, it's our little secret."

  • Although I'm known as the world's fastest talker,

  • I do not choose to live my entire life in the fast lane.

  • Sometimes I just like to take it all a little slower.

  • But sometimes it's really, really, really good

  • to be fast.

  • (cheerful electronic music)

To be, or not to be, that is the question:

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B1 US GreatBigStory peter piper piper peck pickled piper picked

Talking Fast With a Record-Setting Speed Talker

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    Samuel posted on 2017/12/19
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