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  • Woah, last video I made pizza

  • and now I'm making tomato sauce!

  • Should I just move to Italy now or what?

  • ♪♫Fai schifo a cuchinaray, yeah totalmente schifo♪♫

  • All right, so the first thing you're gonna do is select your tomatoes.

  • You could take a classic ground tomato...

  • ...or a boxed tomato...

  • ...you could grab a micro tomato...

  • ...or a powdered tomato...

  • ...you could order subscription tomatoes...

  • ...grab a tubmato...

  • ...or a budmato...

  • ...or just-the-tipmato...

  • ...or a teamato...

  • ...a tiemato...

  • ...a flymato...

  • JUST PICK ONE! Okay?

  • Your indecisiveness is super irritating.

  • I'm gonna chose to work with the Russian tomato.

  • These things are a really great bargain...

  • ...you cut it open...

  • ...you can take out the inside tomato...

  • ...then you cut this guy open...

  • ...get another little baby tomato in here...

  • ...and then we cut this guy open...

  • ...this beautiful little can of tomatoes.

  • So I'm just gonna go ahead, and open this can.

  • *tiny can opening noises*

  • *splat*

  • *kish*

  • *dook dook*

  • *chop*

  • *chop chop*

  • *chop chop chop*

  • *choppity chop*

  • *swish*

  • *choppity chop chop*

  • *choppity freaking chop*

  • Put in some olive oil.

  • Throw in the garlic and onion.

  • And we'll just cook this for a few minutes, till everything's soft.

  • Sometimes when you're sautéing, it will put you in the mood to sing, uh...

  • ...an Italian song like:

  • *Italian cooking chants*

  • Also, it might not.

  • Let's add in the tomatoes.

  • Gonna add in some salt...

  • ...some pepper-pepper-pepper.

  • If you want a little bit of spice, add in a few chilli flakes.

  • While that's cooking, let's play a game called:

  • Spoiler Alert!

  • Now let's chop some fresh basil.

  • *chop, cut, chop*

  • *cut, cut, chop*

  • *chop, chop, ching*

  • Just get the basil in there.

  • If you know what I know...

  • ...then you know there's no such thing as too much basil.

  • But if you don't know what I know...

  • ...then...

  • ...honestly, I just dunno.

  • If you don't find the flavor complete or it's too acidic...

  • ...add just a little bit of sugar.

  • And... I mean... that's pretty much it.

  • It's just a basic tomato sauce...

  • ...and you can do a bunch of different things with it.

  • Like...

  • You can put it on spaghetti...

  • ...you can make shakshuka...

  • ...you can use it as fake blood for a Halloween prank...

  • ...you can put it out as a decorative center piece for a few months...

  • ...and, you know, serve it to one of your friends, and wait until they inevitably say:

  • "Wow, this tomato sauce is amazing! It must be Ragú!"

  • Then you'll say:

  • "No, actually."

  • "I made it myself."

  • ♪♫Don't gotta eat no tomata♪♫

  • ♪♫If I don't wanna but I do, cause it's great♪♫

  • ♪♫Take off a plate and shove it to my face♪♫

  • ♪♫It's the greatest thing I ate today♪♫

  • ♪♫So I say, yo♪♫

  • ♪♫To-may-to!♪♫

  • ♪♫To-mah-to!♪♫

  • ♪♫Full Thrott-le♪♫

  • ♪♫It's the greatest thing inside my face♪♫

  • You know tomato♫♪♫

Woah, last video I made pizza

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