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  • So, are Frodo and Sam having sex or not?

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa, whao

  • Having sex? What, what?

  • What happened to friends?

  • What happened to just caring about your buds?

  • I'm Liam and I'm team Game of Thrones

  • I'm Jonathan and I'm with Lord of the Rings

  • The 3 things that I don't like about Lord of the Rings are...

  • The character development

  • The lack of anything really visceral that goes on,

  • and just the setting of Middle Earth itself.

  • The 3 things I don't like about Game of Thrones,

  • is it's morally bankrupt, like just great morals to teach kids,

  • and each episode ends on this cliffhanger, who's gonna die next, it's like a soap opera.

  • Thirdly, it's just not as fun.

  • Bite your tongue!

  • Tyrion drinks, he whores, he does whatever he wants.

  • Literally, YOLO 24-7

  • Walk me through how Bran Stark got paralized

  • Brand Stark.

  • Bran, like Bran Flakes.

  • Bran Flakes, oh, ok.

  • Bran Starkhe was on a horse, and he got thrown off it,

  • and then his dad takes him to the doctor and he's like,

  • "Bran, as healthy as your name may sound,

  • you are not gonna be healthy for the rest of your life.

  • You are paralyzed."

  • A for effort.

  • What actually happened,

  • is that he got pushed out of a window.

  • One day, he's climbing in a tower. He looks in the window and there is Cersei and Jamie Lannister

  • going at it. It's only natural. They're married right?

  • No!

  • Jamie and Cersei Lannister are twins.

  • Oh!

  • Jamie Lannister jumps up and he just grabs him and pulls him in and he's like,

  • "The things I do for love." And he just pushes him right out the window.

  • I was right about him falling.

  • Yes

  • Was there a doctor?

  • There was a maester.

  • Maester-bates

  • How about that?

  • Sam, he's a good cook.

  • He knows vegetables. and he ESPECIALLY knows potatoes.

  • This Sam could cook potatoes.

  • So can this Sam

  • He cooked potatoes for everybody.

  • So would this Sam!

  • How would he help you in a situation like, you went to a bar with him and you needed a wingman?

  • Here's what I think Boromir's pickup line would be,

  • "Hey, wanna see my horn?"

  • The horn of Gondor?

  • Yeah.

  • And I guarantee you that Stark over here, he would just talk about the weather,

  • and we all know that the weather is the most boring topic of conversation you can bring up.

  • Hmm... I disagree.

  • Winter is coming. And so will you.

  • If you google Hodor, the internet spits back at you,

  • Hodor is not just a person, it's a word that means everything.

  • Ask me a question, any question.

  • What is your basic religious philosophy?

  • Hodor, hodor, hodor.

  • I would die, fairly quickly in Middle Earth, of something very boring.

  • Coming from the future you'd have a lot of diseases you'd have built up immunities to just sitting in your body.

  • Right.

  • Perpeciphilades Middle Earth edition.

  • Right.

  • While everybody is out, at Helm's deep, at the battle of their lives,

  • I'm at home, dying of ork flu.

  • If I was living in Westeros, I give it a month before I die some horrible death.

  • I'd probably either join a mercenary group, or join a mummers troupe.

  • I'd probably tour the Seven Kingdoms, in either capacity,

  • probably wouldn't be that long before I ran afoul of some very ornery soliders,

  • who decided they didn't like my face for whaever reason

  • and stabbed me to death.

  • The most sexual thing that happens in the books, Faramir kisses Eowyn's forehead.

  • Meanwhile, in Westeros,

  • you have Tyrion Lannister having sex with three women at the same time.

  • Why wasn't there any nudity in the movies?

  • I think that Peter Jackson, he's a sweaty looking guy,

  • We all sweat!

  • You sweat a disgusting amount and with sweat comes stink.

  • And with sweat did J.R.R. Tolkein make those books?

  • They don't need to be talking about the birds and the bees, and the boobs

  • and he still wrote one of the greatest pieces of literature.

  • With no boobs.

  • Boobs are awesome. Specifically just my girlfriend's though.

  • That's it. That's the only one. She's gonna see this, she's gonna kill me!

  • Everybody's kind of a nerd these days as a result of Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings, or both!

  • Nerds have taken over the world!

  • Girlfriends!

  • Boyfriends!

  • coworkers

  • jocks

  • husbands

  • Grandparents

  • My mom's a nerd

  • The term has lot it's meaning

  • Has it? I think it's just gained a new meaning.

So, are Frodo and Sam having sex or not?

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