should be a figure of controversy?

Put some clothes on!

Tell me. Do you bleed?

No I don't.

OW! Oh, I broke my leg! That's a lot of blood.

Are you okay?

I am now.

I think they're really cute together, but I do think Batman is getting the better deal.

We're talking about a relationship that challenges our own sense of political correctness.

I mean, man and man, sure. But man and alien?

Celebrity couples have a horrible track record of becoming corrupted, absolutely.

Kill me.

Why is there Kryptonite in your armoury?

What right do you have to go through my stuff?

Don't change the subject! Why do you have this?

Oh, so I'm not allowed to have any secrets?

Every time I ask you about your past, all I get is a cryptic response.

That's because I'm from Krypton!

Look, this isn't working. I think we need to spend some time apart.

I may be the man of steel,

but you just turned my heart to stone.

I'll call a builder shall I, Sir?

What are you doing here?

I told you nine months ago, that was the last ti--

Oh no!

Bruce, you have a son.

How?!

Kryptonian men can give birth.

I never mentioned that?

Uh, no.

I named him Bat-tholomew Clarkson Wayne-Kent.

- Dada! - He has your eyes.

Why does it have wings? I'm not a vampire.

Yoohoo! Superman!

It's been nine months. Why you not return my calls?

OK, so I have a Bat fetish! Like you don't?

Would you get out of here?

This is my rooftop that I use for posing.

I don't see your name on it.

It's Wayne Tower!

Oh.

Well in that case, I do see your name on it. In really large, ostentatious lettering!

Yeah, well. When my parents died, they left me a billion dollar empire,

not a claustrophobic little plastic space egg.

Hey, that "space egg" gets two million lightyears to the gallon!

So does my lawnmower.

Okay then, it's on! Batmower vs Super Space Egg.

Dawn of... weird contests!

Starring every character in the DC Universe.

Kill me.