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  • (boyfriend) I love you.

  • (girlfriend) Well, I love you more!

  • (boyfriend) Nah-uh! I love you times infinity!

  • (Ian) SHUT UP!!!

  • Go, Scott Pilgrim. Kick his ass!

  • God, I wish I had a girlfriend like Ramona Flowers.

  • I would totally fight seven evil exes to be with her.

  • No, you definitely, definitely would not.

  • Uh, yeah, I would.

  • Real life love is boring as hell.

  • I mean, just imagine what it would be like

  • if it was just like the movies.

  • Oh my god, man, I've gone over this with you

  • with every single subject over the past five years

  • and you still don't get it?

  • Okay, look, romantic movies would suck if they were like real life.

  • If Romantic Movies Were Real

  • What Women Want

  • You want to have sex with me.

  • Nope.

  • Dammit!

  • When Harry Met Sally

  • (moaning sensually)

  • Are you okay?

  • (moaning)

  • (grunting loudly)

  • Yes! YES!

  • YES!

  • I don't know her.

  • (Anthony moans loudly)

  • GHOST

  • (kissing noises)

  • Girl, what the f*ck are you doing?

  • You nasty!

  • (girl) Is it in yet?

  • PRETTY WOMAN

  • Hello there, ladies and gentlemen.

  • I'd like you to meet my very special guest tonight.

  • - Come here, honey. - (hacking)

  • (rough voice) Hey, I got a two for one special

  • if any of y'all want in.

  • No mouth kissing though.

  • She's precious, isn't she?

  • WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S ROMEO + JULIET

  • Thus, with a kiss, I die!

  • (groaning) This is so f*cked up!

  • Easiest breakup ever!

  • her

  • (moaning)

  • Mannequin

  • (grunting)

  • Marley & Me

  • Just kidding. You guys are sick.

  • GONE WITH THE WIND

  • What will I do? Where will I go?

  • Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

  • (jeering)

  • - You just got served! - You got served!

  • - What? What? What? What? - What's wrong with you?!

  • The 40 Year-Old Virgin

  • (hacking)

  • All right, sugar tits, it's gonna be $10.00.

  • Sweet, I could've just paid for this the whole time?

  • Well, if you needed me back in the '80s

  • - it would've been fine. - (groaning)

  • (500) DAYS OF SUMMER

  • - (skin sizzles) - Global warming's not real, my ass!

  • HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS

  • But sometimes I poop when I sleep.

  • (gags)

  • Nope!

  • (fork clatters)

  • FIFTY SHADES OF GREY

  • Okay, we've already been through 49 shades,

  • please, for the love of god, tell me this one works!

  • It's perfect!

  • (sigh of relief) Great!

  • Now we can get to the creepy stuff.

  • BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

  • (southern twang) It's terrible how we have to hide our love.

  • (sniffles)

  • I wish I knew how to quit you.

  • Um, you know gay marriage is legal in, like, 36 states now, right?

  • Wait, what?

  • For the last time, no one cares!

  • Yeah! We support your man-love!

  • Oh.

  • See, I told you.

  • What?

  • You know what?

  • I'm not gonna let your cynicism ruin my view of love.

  • Now good day, sir!

  • What?!

  • I said, "Good day!"

  • Hmph!

  • LATER AT RAMONA'S

  • (exhales, gags)

  • Oh, uh, hi, Ramona Flowers.

  • I was wondering, uh, could I be your boyfriend?

  • Sure, but first you have to defeat my seven evil exes.

  • Peace of cake!

  • (Ian groans)

  • Totally not worth it!

  • (Ian groans) Ow! Ow!

  • (Ian) Hey, guys, thank you so much for watching me

  • have the sh*t kicked out of me. If you haven't subscribed

  • to us yet, click that huge-ass yellow subscribe button

  • right on the screen.

  • (Anthony) If you guys wanna see a scene from Knocked Up...

  • Wait, so, who did I sleep with?

  • ..and this:

  • Oh, I love your ghost nipples!

  • (groans)

  • (Anthony) Click the video on the left.

  • And if you guys haven't seen our latest If It Were Real videos,

  • click the video on the right to watch If Video Games Were Real 3.

  • (groans)

  • [Captioned by Subtitle YouTube]

(boyfriend) I love you.

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