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  • There is a stranger,

  • who comes to this village from the sea.

  • Brings fish in the winter when people are hungry.

  • Comes on the King tide.

  • Or the Queen tide, if the King tide's booked out.

  • That was last night.

  • You are mistaken. We have never heard of this man.

  • Hey, Aquaman! Thanks for bringing all that fish last night on the King tide.

  • You legend!

  • Oh, and if you're taking requests for next time,

  • is lobster out of the question?

  • I hate this village.

  • I believe that an enemy is coming,

  • from far away.

  • How come none of you guys showed up for me mom's funeral

  • but when Hagrid's stupid shield gets dented, you're out in force!

  • Silence!

  • I'm looking for warriors.

  • And alcoholics with excessive body art.

  • He said he'll fight with us?

  • More or less.

  • He said no.

  • Didn't he?

  • What gave you that impression?

  • Barry Allen.

  • Bruce Wayne.

  • Look man, I don't know who you are, but whoever you're looking for...

  • Oh, hey.

  • You must be a friend of Ba--

  • OH MY GOD!

  • What happened to my twin brother, whose name is also Barry

  • but was never blessed with superhuman powers???

  • Uhhhh..

  • I'm sorry to have to tell you...

  • Your brother was a terrorist.

  • Yep.

  • That's both legs broken.

  • No deal!

  • Mmm.

  • Not again!

  • I heard about you.

  • Didn't think you were real.

  • I'm real when it's useful.

  • Well...

  • Is it useful now?

  • Hmmm...

  • NAH!

  • Wh--

  • Batman?

  • Where'd you go?

  • Cyborg?

  • Who are you talking to?

  • Does not compute.

  • Arthur Curry.

  • I hear you can talk to fish.

  • That's ridiculous.

  • I do not talk to fish.

  • Oh, I see how it is.

  • "Bros before Nemos".

  • [WONDER WOMAN] So Batman, who exactly is this enemy coming from far away?

  • [BATMAN] He's this guy who used to pick on me in school.

  • Real mean kid.

  • Anyway, I heard he's moving back to Gotham, so I figured--

  • [FLASH] Wait. He's just a kid who picked on you??

  • [BATMAN] Well he's not a kid anymore. He's my age.

  • And if it weren't for the accident, he'd be similar build too.

  • [AQUAMAN] What accident?

  • [BATMAN] Oh, he... He lost both his legs to frostbite on a World Vision assignment to Nepal.

  • - But none of that's relevant to-- - Stop.

  • [WONDER WOMAN] You assembled the world's greatest superheroes

  • to beat up a middle-aged charity worker in a wheelchair?

  • [BATMAN] No, no... ! J--

  • Your phrasing is prejudicial.

  • He kissed Claire Buckton in third grade

  • when he knew I had a big thing for her!

  • [AQUAMAN] "Justice League"?

  • More like "Long-term Grudge League".

  • I'm going back to the ocean. [SPLASH]

  • [BATMAN] Aquaman, no!

  • [CYBORG] Yeah, I'm going back to Cyberdyne.

  • [BATMAN] Oh, come on-- Cyborg!

  • [JET NOISE]

  • Flash! Don't you leave too!

  • [FLASH] I left a few seconds ago. This is just a residual image.

  • [BATMAN] What? NO!

  • Wonder Woman, come on! Don't break up the band!

  • [WONDER WOMAN] Sorry, Bruce. I'm going back to my home:

  • An island paradise entirely populated by super-fit women in miniskirts.

  • Oh.

  • Well then I should probably go with you, you know, as your protect--

  • That's not happening.

  • GUH!!! This is grade three all over again!

There is a stranger,

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