SKETCH

This is you.

This is your girlfriend.

And these are,

Your Girlfriend's Six Friends.

The Possessive One

Nobody loves your girlfriend more than you.

Almost.

(phone ringing)

(Guy) Megan? No.

Call her back.

She seems to have issues with boundaries.

Gah!

You didn't answer your phone.

Except one, that is.

Sorry. Girl's night.

(laughing) C'mon girl!

Your boyfriend gets you all to himself.

He's not even fun or rich or anything...

- (Friend continues talking) - A man can only take so much.

You're a crazy friendship pirate!

Too much?

The Gay BFF

You know he's gay but, c'mon.

There's a lot of potential here.

He acts like he knows everything.

Just because he's gay doesn't mean-

Hey, these pants actually look pretty good!

You look so great!

Honey! Look at you!

Yeah, you like this guy.

But not in a gay way...

The One You Have A Crush On

There's your girl.

Your soulmate. The only woman you'll ever-

Honey! Have you met Amanda?

Aaahh...yaaah...ah, I mean, I mean...more words.

Amanda, my friend Carla is here...

Why can't your girlfriend have uglier friends?

And then she said,

you're the bitch!

What?? (laughs)

(man giggles)

Do you have a crush on Amanda?

OK, think Kennedy, Clinton.

That other, less popular candidate.

♪ (Hail to the Chief) ♪

I believe that both my girlfriend and her friend

are equally hot.

- (applause) - There is nothing wrong with that.

(louder applause)

What? No...

She's attractive. In a slutty way!

Not in a slutty way...

I love you!

I wish you were friends with more homeless people.

The Guy Friend

According to her,

they've been BFFs forevsies.

(unintelligible yelling)

The inside jokes don't help.

Oh my god!

This whole friendship thing drives you crazy.

You feel like the guy from A Beautiful Mind.

Maybe this is OK.

There are different types of love, right?

Sure, they're friends,

but they'll never have the raw physical attraction that you two-

- OK, that's enough. - That's enough!!

The Attention Hog

- She'll do anything for attention. - (Girl in back) Hey guys! Heeey!

You guys think there's needles in here?

You think she enjoys breakups more than actual relationships.

Mark broke up with me!

Peter won't call me back!!

Obama won't write me back!!

I will never be as happy as you guys.

(stomach rumble) Excuse me.

She has a compulsive need to share her every thought and emotion.

I just took the most humungoid crap.

It's possible you can use this.

Are you on Twitter?

No...

I gotta show you this, you're gonna love this.

- So, you just type in... - OK...

(Friend) Guys, guys!

I got five favorites on my garbage tweet!!

You

You love your girlfriend.

Not just because she's smart, and funny,

and because she knows what a beaglepuss is,

but because she's your friend.

And like any good friend,

you'd do anything for her.

Including putting up with all her other friends.

After all, she puts up with yours.

Hey man, think I could get a ride home?

I just shit my pants...