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  • Hello, this is Mr Sato and I'm gonna help you with your college application essay, no pressure or anything.

  • But along with your last Will and Testament, the college application is probably one of the most important compositions you will ever write.

  • How important is the essay?

  • Well, that depends on what kind of student you are.

  • You probably fall into one of the following three categories.

  • If you're the kind of student who's in the 95th percentile on the sat your grade point average is a 4.0 and you have an impressive list of activities and leadership positions, then the essay might be a little less important for you.

  • The college may have already decided that they want you and all you can do in your essay is to blow it by coming off like a personality free grades seeking robot.

  • You can now stop watching this video and go back to annotating the complete works of William Thackeray.

  • But most students fall into that gray area in the middle.

  • And if this is you, I want you to imagine that the person reading your essay will be comparing you to 99 other applicants who on paper have all the same qualifications as you.

  • The same test scores, the same GPA, the same favorable teacher recommendations, maybe one or two extracurricular activities.

  • Your essay is what will set you apart from the other 99.

  • Let's call the student Doris.

  • Her college essay is absolutely crucial to Doris.

  • It could very well determine whether or not she gets accepted or maybe you're a lackluster student with poor grades and no extracurricular activities.

  • Let's call this student, Jane, the college or university usually admits a few students with weaker qualifications to give a break to students who stand out in some non-academic way who look like they might really do something special if given the chance, Jane might bring something interesting and valuable to the school, she might be a deep thinker who has made some mistakes or has had some bad luck like family problems or maybe nearly all of the students at the university are the same homogeneous in some way culturally, racially, economically and Jane would bring a perspective to class discussions and study groups that others won't have.

  • The university wants that not out of generosity, but to create a lively intellectual environment where not everyone sees through the same cultural lens.

  • So that could be Jane's chance.

  • You already know most of what you need to know things you've already learned in your English classes about essay writing, apply to your college application, essay as well, organize effectively write with personality and emotional commitment.

  • What we call voice, use, vivid word choices and proofread your work for conventions.

  • Errors sound familiar.

  • And here's the best single piece of advice I can give you start early so that you can revise thoroughly and meaningfully.

  • If you're a chronic procrastinator, make yourself start early so that you can write more than a single draft.

  • If you think you write best under pressure.

  • Don't kid yourself, give yourself the time to do your best work.

  • So let's talk about organization.

  • You've probably written several essays for school and your teacher, I would hope will have talked to you about how to organize an essay.

  • But if you like Jane were busy watching funny cat videos that day, let me refresh your memory, begin with an attention getting intro or hook.

  • You can look at my video on hooks as well, then include or imply your thesis.

  • The main point of your essay, which in this case is you should admit me to your school.

  • The body of your essay will show the reader why you should be admitted.

  • Don't talk a lot about things already in your application.

  • They already know those things and they need a human face now to put on your GPA, your sat or AC T scores your school activities, et cetera.

  • Instead, the body of your essay should make clear that you are a real human being, not just some phony trying to tell them what they want to hear and that if they give you the opportunity to get an education at their college or university, you'll go out into the world after graduation and do meaningful things with it.

  • Your conclusion should be concise.

  • Don't ramble on after you've made your point.

  • It wouldn't be a bad idea to directly say that you hope they'll give you the opportunity to show them what you can do or something like that.

  • I made a whole other video on essay organizations so consider watching that for more detailed information.

  • Next voice, what we call voice is basically two things, a sense of your personality and emotional commitment in your college essay.

  • It's hugely important to convey a sense of who you are through your words.

  • Your essay, as I've said is the human face on your application.

  • The reader wants to get to know you so convey personality and an awareness that you are communicating with another human being.

  • One way to do this is to anticipate your readers questions and answer them.

  • Let's say you were writing about your hobby, chainsaw, juggling, anticipate your readers' questions with something like this.

  • Now, you're probably wondering what kind of bonehead would juggle chainsaws.

  • But like anything else in life, the risks are minimal if you know what you're doing, use of personal pronouns, like I me, my, you and your are perfectly appropriate in this kind of essay.

  • Also, it's OK to use informal words and colloquial phrases so that you convey a sense of your personality, but just remember a little goes a long way.

  • The second aspect of voice, emotional commitment simply means that you are interested in what you're saying, that you're saying something you actually care about.

  • Don't be afraid to write with passion or intensity.

  • Writing on autopilot is the quickest way to sound generic and boring.

  • What other than yourself do you really care about?

  • Think about what you really wanna say and then say it like you mean it, a former Vice Chancellor of admissions at the University of Denver said in a Denver post article that applicants shouldn't exaggerate either.

  • Most readers can tell if you're stretching the truth when you say that the death of your second cousin's stepfather's uncle caused you to fail geometry.

  • Part of voice is authenticity.

  • So keep it real, be sincere.

  • Think about what kind of person you are an admissions director at Texas Christian University said in the Arizona Daily star that if you're a serious person, you should write a serious essay if you're funny, write a funny essay.

  • And I think if you're laid back, you could be a little laid back.

  • But also let it peak out that there's something other than your high score in a video game that you really care about be yourself.

  • But be your best self.

  • Word choice means using interesting striking phrases that sound good when read out loud, be specific.

  • Don't say my friend and I grew apart and that made me really sad.

  • Say when I finished talking, my friend looked at me blankly waiting for the punch line and I realized that she didn't understand me that despite our many years together, we were still strangers that all of us are essentially castaways on separate deserted islands.

  • Use of metaphors and similes can really add flavor to a bland piece of writing.

  • On the other hand, don't use words.

  • You don't understand.

  • I call this thesaurus itis.

  • It means over using a thesaurus to replace small words with big ones.

  • Don't do this.

  • It makes you sound dumber, not smarter because you probably aren't using all those words correctly and it makes you sound ridiculous.

  • It should go without saying though.

  • I know from experience that it doesn't, that you should thoroughly check and recheck your writing for conventions, errors, spelling, punctuation, capitalization, any format requirements the university may have specified after you've checked your essay.

  • Have someone else check it by someone else.

  • I don't mean your computer's spell check while you're at it.

  • Why not confer with a skilled essay writer?

  • You can just find some well written essays and read them.

  • Get some ideas for different ways.

  • You can sound different tones and different techniques for achieving certain effects.

  • They don't have to be college application essays.

  • I recommend the best American essays series, ask your librarian about those and when you read them, notice how each writer has his or her own personality.

  • Notice how good writers show rather than tell.

  • That means if Doris remember Doris is telling a story about how her family's car broke down in the middle of the desert.

  • She shouldn't just tell us that and stop there.

  • She should also make us see the desert, make us see what she sees and feel what she feels.

  • She might describe the surrounding desert, put in some details about the physical process of getting help or helping her parent fix the car as well as importantly, her thoughts and feelings, while all of this is going on, all of which will be revealing to the reader that Doris has qualities that make her more interesting than those other 99 applicants.

  • Now, most application essay prompts are pretty standard and open ended, like write a personal statement that gives us a sense of you as an individual, that sort of thing.

  • But some colleges ask really strange questions like, how do you feel about Wednesday or how about this one?

  • Don't let these kinds of questions throw you off.

  • They're still just trying to get a sense of who you are and how you think answer the question in the spirit in which it was asked in a creative and original way.

  • And along the way, make them conclude without you actually saying it that you are a student, they really, really want attending their school when it comes down to it, those wacky application prompts are really not that different from the more ordinary ones.

  • Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help, talk to your school counselor and visit your local public library.

  • Look up articles about college application, essays and newspapers and magazines.

  • See if your local library has a database of news articles like Proquest.

  • And when you have a draft, don't be afraid to ask parents and teachers to read your essay and give you constructive feedback.

  • But remember no article, book, video or school counselor can write your essay for you.

  • It's something that only you could create from your life, history, your personality and your imagination.

  • So I've given you eight tips.

  • One, start early.

  • Don't wait until the last minute.

  • Two, organize effectively.

  • You can check out my video on how to organize an essay.

  • Three, write with personality and emotional commitment.

  • Four use specific interesting word choices.

  • Five check for conventions, errors.

  • Six also read some good essays, seven read articles about college application, essays and eight get some constructive criticism.

  • Follow those eight tips and you'll improve your odds of getting that acceptance letter.

  • Good luck.

Hello, this is Mr Sato and I'm gonna help you with your college application essay, no pressure or anything.

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