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  • Today, I want to share with you, what has been probably the most

  • impactful thing that I've learned in the last several months

  • if not year and I'm excited for it because it has a lot to do with what I think

  • is the number one thing that stops you from being your most charismatic,

  • confident, and successful selfand that thing that is stopping you

  • is yourself.

  • It is your own mind more than anything that is happening

  • in the external world that gets in your way.

  • For instance, you're going to give a presentation

  • it's not the audience, it's not the person on the stage

  • it is the thoughts in your head that are making you, maybe,

  • have your hands shake, feel like your voice is quaking

  • and then ultimately sabotage you.

  • So whether it's with presentations, sticking to a diet,

  • building of business, creating relationshipswhatever it is

  • if you can get your thoughts supporting you and

  • your feelings backing you up rather than having them fight you,

  • you're going to find that your goals are just... they're downhill

  • you're going to get there eventually versus

  • if they don't, your thoughts don't support you,

  • you're up on a mountain and you're going to have a really hard time

  • getting there so let's just get into it.

  • I want to start with belief.

  • I never realized how important your beliefs are towards shaping your world.

  • I really do now think that your beliefs are probably the most powerful mental

  • personal development tool that you have at your disposal.

  • And if you don't buy into this, just think of what religious belief has done

  • to shape our world and it's still doing to shape our world.

  • People, for the religions, clearly are willing to fight to diethey're willing to kill.

  • On the other hand, they're willing to save lives, right?

  • They're willing to dedicate their lives to other people

  • depending on which direction the religious beliefs send them down.

  • And you might not realize this but your beliefs

  • have the same power on you every single day.

  • It's just that they're not written in a book so you can't translate how clearly your beliefs are

  • resulting in the person that you are in the way that you feel.

  • The other problem is you probably never sat down and thought,

  • "Hey, I can pick my beliefs," so that's just something that happened to you.

  • In fact, the way that beliefs happen which is the first point I want to make

  • beliefs form from associations to pain and pleasure.

  • And these typically occur when you're a young kid so

  • you take the belief that... anxiety, right? When you go into a social situation,

  • you might believe that social situations are difficult, right?

  • The social situations can create rejection and painwhere does that come from?

  • Typically, this comes fromwhen you were a small child, you went up,

  • you talked to a group of other kids and they rejected you.

  • Or you walked into a group of kids and you had a great time

  • but when you came back to mom and dad, mom and dad yelled at you for running away.

  • Whatever happened at some point in your life, pain got linked up to socializing

  • which resulted in a feeling of negativity when it came to socializing and that's the belief

  • that socializing is bad or that I'm not good at socializing.

  • Now why did that happen?

  • Your brain, your mind, your whole nervous system is trying its best to protect you.

  • So when two things happen at the same time and they create pain,

  • it's going to create an emotion that keeps you away from that pain, hence anxiety.

  • Your anxiety is actually to protect you from the pain that you might have felt when the kids rejected you

  • or you came back to your parents and they yelled at you.

  • It is your body doing its best to stop you from feeling pain and to create pleasure.

  • And I know this sounds insane because anxiety is a miserable feeling,

  • envy is a miserable feeling, insecurity, lazinessthese all feel bad.

  • My point is that something in our lives typically happen

  • that made us think that, "Well, this might be bad but there's something worse,"

  • and that is what I want to help you change today.

  • So think of a belief that is stopping you from getting what you want

  • maybe laziness is stopping you from succeeding in your business,

  • maybe anxiety is stopping you from feeling confident,

  • and going and getting the boyfriend or girlfriend that you likewhatever it is

  • think of a feeling that you have, an associated belief, and a situation.

  • And I want you to go through... we're going to work on shifting this and then shifting this entire area of your life in the next few minutes.

  • The first thing is thisyou want to recognize the positive intent.

  • And I just went through how anxiety can actually come from a positive intent

  • but let's take anotherfor instance, laziness.

  • I was originally struggling with laziness.

  • I haven't been filming as much and it's because

  • there was a positive intent to that which is

  • I only wanted to make one really great content

  • and I thought if I took more time, I could do it.

  • I also was enjoying spending time with my friends on the beaches of Brazil

  • and time spent creating videos took away from that.

  • So when I look through the laziness that has stopped me from

  • making YouTube videos, there's a positive intent there.

  • And what I want you to do is write down your positive intent that is associated with that negative feeling

  • and then when you have it, say, "Thank you, brain.

  • Thank you for doing your best to keep me safe.

  • It sounds like you got a little bit confused but I appreciate you always supporting me."

  • It does help to acknowledge the positive intent

  • but now we need to shift itwe need a new association.

  • I'm just going to stick with the example of my laziness with creating videos.

  • What you need to do now, and this is probably the most powerful part,

  • is associate a tremendous amount of pain to not changing

  • meaning you need to associate a ton of pain to staying anxious,

  • to staying envious, to staying lazy

  • so for me, I had to go down and write all the things that this not-creating made me do.

  • It made the YouTube channel not grow as fast, it affected my income,

  • it made me feel like I wasn't contributing as much to the world, it let people down

  • and as you go through these will have different amounts of impact on you.

  • Quite frankly, financially and YouTube channel growing didn't have impact me

  • but when I felt like I was letting you guys down that there were people out there

  • who need this stuff and I wasn't delivering,

  • that created a hurt in me and that's what you're looking to do in this situation.

  • Another quick storyhow quickly this can happen and how I just want you

  • to broadly find the things that are making you feel that pain.

  • I was out at a bar years ago, beginning of Charisma on Command with Ben.

  • And I walked into the bar, saw a girl that I liked, and I told Ben.

  • I said, "Man, she's pretty."

  • He said, "Go talk to her," and I started to and then I realized

  • she was surrounded by six or seven guys that she was there with

  • I have no idea why and immediately, I didn't want to talk to her.

  • And I said and I was just like, "Ah, I'm going to talk to someone else."

  • Ben said, "Oh come on, man. Go up and talk to her. You might get a date with her."

  • Okay, he's going with the pleasure principle, "That would be nice."

  • I thought, "Nah, not worth it. I might go and talk to someone else."

  • He said, "Come on, man. Like, you're going to regret this."

  • "I know you. If you don't do this, you're going to beat yourself up when you get home."

  • Okay, there's the pain principle.

  • I thought, "Yeah, but I still don't really want to go throught with this."

  • And he probably threw out six or seven more things before he finally got me

  • because there's always, with people, one leverage point.

  • For me, doing these videos, it was feeling like I'm letting you guys down.

  • In this situation, Ben said,

  • "You're supposed to be Charisma on Command. You're supposed to teach people

  • how to be confident and charismatic in the moments where they don't feel it

  • and you're telling me you're not going to go do this?"

  • And in that moment, everything shifted in my brain.

  • Still, yes, it was... I was, ugh, I didn't want to do it

  • but there was no way that I was not going to at least try

  • and so within the next thirty seconds, I walked up,

  • introduced myself to the guys and eventually met this girl

  • point not being that I got a date because I didn't or that we hit it off because we didn't.

  • The point is that you need to find that strongest leverage point

  • so go cast a wide net.

  • When you're thinking about laziness and you're trying to stick to a diet,

  • it's not just, "Okay, I won't get the abs or I won't get the girl," —

  • maybe you won't respect yourself, maybe your business won't do as well,

  • maybe it will impact your incomeyou've got to cast a wide net to find where

  • that piece is that really impacts you.

  • For me and I know for a lot of people, it's letting other people downthat's one of the most impactful things.

  • So that's the second stepwrite all the ways it's going to cost you

  • and then in bold, if you're writing it, the number one thing that really hurts

  • that really gets you moving.

  • Third, you want to go through and talk about the pleasure that is there if you change.

  • So if you flip your anxiety into confidence, what can you get?

  • All of a sudden you can make more friends, you might get a date that you like,

  • you're going to be a good example for all the other people

  • who might feel anxious and can look to you

  • whatever it is, spend some time doing the same things here.

  • As I went through why I'm not creating videos and I thought,

  • "Oh my gosh, I can make an impact. I'll get to read more nice emails from people.

  • It's going to help a lot more people in the world.

  • Maybe I'll actually get to be like some of the people that I really admire

  • like Tony Robbins," — I know that's a lofty goal

  • but when I look at that, that inspires me.

  • There needs to be something that you can sit there and that gets you moving

  • so you've got a really strong pain principle — a really strong pleasure principle.

  • These are the foundations of changing your feelings

  • and I will tell youif you review this twice a day,

  • three times a day, maybe morning and evening, for a handful of days,

  • most beliefs take a couple of days of just reviewing these really, really strong principles

  • to completely change and I know that I did it with the business

  • and I've worked more in the last couple days without even having to review this

  • than I have previously in weeks.

  • Whatever it is for youyou can change that anxiety, you can change that envy,

  • you can change that laziness and, again, this is crazy

  • for the impact that it can have on your life because when you shift your feeling,

  • you totally shift the actions that you take

  • and when you shift the actions that you take, everything changes.

  • So I hope that you guys have found this helpful.

  • If you have, I'm going to be doing much, much more on it.

  • I don't know exactly what direction it's going to go.

  • I imagine that eventually there will be a course on it

  • because what I'm realizing is that

  • there's these beliefs but they form spider webs of belief systems

  • and while you might remove one belief that says, "Hey, I can't go talk to people,"

  • something else could get in there that still intercepts you and you can't always see it.

  • So what I'm trying to do is come up with a systematic way to restructure

  • my belief systems so they get me moving the direction I want,

  • so that I'm getting the help that I want, so that I'm getting the friends that I want,

  • to building the business I want and impacting the world in the way that I want.

  • If you guys are interested in that, go ahead, click on the description link below.

  • I'm going to have a link to our email list

  • and what I'm going to do is probably send to you a couple of surveys

  • to see what types of things here that you're interested in rewiring,

  • what new beliefs you would like to have, and what areas you're struggling with

  • so that eventually, if this does become an online course,

  • it is the most all-encompassing course that it could possibly be.

  • So if you're interested in that, go click the link below.

  • Either way, the other thing I should say is that,

  • because I'm trying to do more of these videos I am, this Thursday,

  • going to do a live Q&A.

  • I do not know how I'm going to get the technology to work

  • but it's going to be 5 p.m. — that's 5 p.m. Eastern Time — 2 p.m. Pacific

  • this Thursday which is I don't know which day but it's a couple days from now.

  • And I'm going to make it work.

  • You guys send in your questions, I'll stay on for a while, and it should be fun.

  • If you've enjoyed this video, go ahead and click the button here to subscribe.

  • Make sure you click the notification bell below because

  • I don't think YouTube is sending it out to everybody as much anymore.

  • If you want to learn more about this, go to whatever link over here.

  • Click that, you'll join our email list or in description

  • and of course, I hope that you've enjoyed this video

  • and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.

Today, I want to share with you, what has been probably the most

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