NARRATOR This summer, witness yet another Spiderman

origin story...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Just so SONY can retain the rights to the

character...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Peter Parker was just an attractive...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Intelligent...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Likeable...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Athletic...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Well-dressed...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Teenaged loser.

NARRATOR (CONT'D) But when he easily walks into a high security

lab, one radio-active spider bite will give

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Peter the ability to...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Twitch like a crackhead...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Break everything...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Get every father figure in his life murdered...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Act like a complete jerk every chance he gets.

PETER "I just did eighty percent of you your job...

Huh!?"

AUNT MAY "Who does this to you?"

PETER "Please, please go to sleep!"

NARRATOR And studder worse than Shia Labuef in Transformers.

PETER "Uhm so uh you want to uh, I don't know

uhm."

PETER (CONT'D) "I don't know."

PETER (CONT'D) "Just uh."

PETER (CONT'D) "Uhm, I don't know"

PETER (CONT'D) "I was, I was, dah."

PETER (CONT'D) "Yea, yea."

PETER (CONT'D) "No, no, no, no, no."

GWEN STACY "I don't want to talk about that."

PETER "Don't, don't, no, no, OK no, OK?"

PETER (CONT'D) "OK, OK, OK, OK, OK."

PETER (CONT'D) "I gotta tell you this one thing. I gotta

tell you this one thing."

PETER (CONT'D) "Ike , I wish I could just..."

NARRATOR Embark on a romantic journey...

where the hottest girl in school falls for this creep stalker

UNCLE BEN "He's got you on his computer."

PETER "Pfeheh."

NARRATOR Proving that love always prevails, even when

you have gaping wounds that require

NARRATOR (CONT'D) immediate medical attention...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Immerse yourself in the epic battle, between

a hero who refuses to fight with his mask on.

NARRATOR (CONT'D) And a villain, with the most cliche origin

story imaginable...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Who is conveniently connected to the most

important people in Peter's life.

UNCLE BEN "Curt Conners, that's the name of the

guy in the picture with your dad."

CAPTAIN STACY "Dr. Curtis Conners, was also my daughters

mentor, is that who your talking about?"

PETER PARKER "That's the one."

NARRATOR Experience the re-retold story...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) ...of an uncle who strives to find yet another

way of saying "With great power, comes great responsibility.

UNCLE BEN "That if you could do good things for other

people, you would have a moral obligation to do those things.

UNCLE BEN (CONT'D) "That's what's at stake here. Not choice...

responsibility."

NARRATOR As well as all these other moments...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) that you've already seen before...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Like this...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) A lot of this...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) And more of this.

PETER PARKER "Call an ambulance!"

NARRATOR Swing along, with the smartest teenager in

Manhattan...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Who uses the myspace of search engines....

NARRATOR (CONT'D) And does a terrible job of hiding his secret

identity.

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Seriously nobody thought that was odd?

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Starring...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) The Not Really That Amazing Spider

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Merr, at least Kirsten Dunst wasn't in it.

NARRATOR (CONT'D) Don't miss our future Honest Trailers, subscribe

now...

NARRATOR (CONT'D) And leave a comment like to hear me say in

my epic voice...