So Daimler and Benz Leach and Peugeot Ford Olds and a bunch of engineers and dreamers and iron workers came up with cars and the universe said, oh shit, these machines aren't easy to understand for ordinary folks and they cost a lot of money.

We'd better get some sales people quick.

And so the universe gave us car salesmen.

The universe said I need someone willing to work Bell to Bell six days a week, make 100 phone calls a day.

Handle, floor traffic, close four deals on the last day of the month.

Stay out till last call celebrating and still make it into the 8:30 a.m. sales meeting the next day wide awake and ready to kick ass and take names.

So the universe gave us car salesmen.

The universe said I need someone who can charm the pants off.

A none talk business with executives, football with steel workers and knows just enough about just about everything to have an intelligent conversation with anyone no matter their hobbies or line of business.

I need a fellow with brass balls, the size of grape fruits.

The confidence of a trapeze artist, the bravado of a pool hustler, the memory of an elephant, the skin of a rhinoceros, the horns of a bull and the Polish of a statesman.

So the universe gave us car salesmen.

The universe said I need someone to shovel snow for me in Minnesota, cold winters and to move a minivan's worth of stuff into a new car in Texas heat.

I need someone with the patience to teach your grandmother how to use her factory navigation system.

But the drive and determination to do a 90 minute demonstration for every customer, even if they come in 10 minutes after close and can't finance a hot dog.

So the universe gave us car salesmen.

The universe said I need someone who can get things fixed at service without running up a bill.

I need someone who can entertain kids and shut down third baseman and stand up to sales managers of corporate types and close three deals by noon.

I need someone who can survive for 14 hours on nothing but coffee, adrenaline and half a slice of pizza inhaled in a three minute lunch break and deal with folks that shop their prices against every dealer in the tri state area and still have to think about it.

I need someone who isn't going to break down when he has three deals.

Unwind in one day.

Someone who is willing to stay five hours over so his teammate can watch their kids recital and get the short end of a split deal and not bitch about it.

I need someone who knows his product line inside, outside, upside down and can still sell what's on the lot today.

But most of all, I need someone who will study, learn the craft.

Treat the people right.

Train the new guy when you're not playing pranks on him, take him under your wing, pass down everything you've learned.

So that one day after you've sold everyone and their families and their friends and their coworkers and you're living out your days pottering around dealerships, doing dealer trades.

You can look out at all the young faces in the showroom and know that somehow some way you made an impact on our world.

And so the universe gave us car salesmen.