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  • Depression is the only illness where people want to know your qualifications. I'm asked all the time:

  • Likewhat do you have to be depressed about?

  • - Well, I... - You're like, I don't know, in a loving relationship?

  • - Yeah, but... - …and your career is going well. So like, why then?

  • Well, I mean, there's no good like reason for it. That's why it's called clinical depression,

  • because if there was the reason I would just be justifiably sad.

  • Oh

  • I still don't get it.

  • And people are always offering me unsolicited advice like:

  • Have you triedpositive thinking?

  • I have one word for you:

  • probiotics

  • Meditation is the answer because depression can't exist in the zen zone.

  • Mental illness is its own unique conundrum because if you have a physical ailment people are immediately sympathetic

  • Oh, no, I'll make you some soup.

  • Hey, let me know if there's anything that I could do for you.

  • Oh, you poor baby. Do you want me to bring you some healing crystals?

  • But if that illness is mental? Yeah, they kind of have a different attitude about it.

  • EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  • I think that the best way to talk to someone with depression is actually not talking at all

  • but listening with compassion and not trying to provide solutions.

  • I mean unless that solution is encouraging someone to go to therapy

  • which is great. Because therapy is awesome. Everyone should do it.

  • But not necessarily trying to fix somebody's illness.

  • And I know that our instinct when someone is sad is to try to cheer them up or try to help them

  • But depression isn't personal and it's not going to go away with a pep talk.

  • You can say supportive things like:

  • I'm here for you.

  • Is there anything that I can do right now?

  • Look, you may not believe it right now, but the way that you're feeling is totally going to change.

  • But maybe stay away from:

  • Look on the bright side!

  • We all go through times like this.

  • Like depression is just all in your head. You can totally overcome it, it's just mind over matter.

  • And I think it's also really important to note that you should try to protect yourself too when dealing with a depressed person

  • If you're naturally an empath or susceptible to other people's emotions,

  • it can be really difficult to separate yourself from it.

  • I mean, I've definitely been guilty of trying to be there for a depressed person,

  • and letting their illness affect my mental state which isn't good for either of us.

  • So setting your own boundaries to protect your emotions is so important.

  • And if you're talking to a depressed person or depressed yourself

  • I think a good rule of thumb, for that and for life in general, is just that:

  • Everybody wants to be heard.

  • So listening with compassion can make a huge difference in somebody's life

  • I know it sounds like so simple and obvious, but you would be surprised at how rarely it actually happens.

  • I'm Anna Akana, good luck

  • Thank you so much to audible for sponsoring today's episode .

  • You can listen when you're driving, when you're doing the dishes,

  • or if you and a friend just wanna like sit in silence, and listen to a story.

  • So I'm currently listening to Sabriel which I love because it's this three-part trilogy starring a kick-ass lady necromancer.

  • Audible is offering a free 30 day trial to give you a chance to try out their service.

  • You can go to audible.com/anna to download Sabriel for free or another book of your choice.

  • That's audible.com/anna

Depression is the only illness where people want to know your qualifications. I'm asked all the time:

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B1 US depression depressed illness audible anna mental

How to talk to someone with depression

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    Kristi Yang posted on 2017/08/11
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