B1 Intermediate US 18686 Folder Collection
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Where in the world is Superwoman today?
In Trinidad and Tobago!
What up, everyone?
It's your girl Superwoman.
I have hugged a lot of people.
In fact, over the past four months,
I've hugged over 10,000 people,
which means you should hit the thumbs up right away
because of the accuracy and authenticity of,
yo, the teleprompter froze.
Scroll up, scroll up.
Too far, too far, too far.
Thumbs up, no, no, keep going, keep going.
Accuracy, authenticity, okay, here we go.
Authenticity of this video.
Straight up, every once in a while,
I have guys come up to me and ask me questions like,
"How do I know if she likes me?"
"Yo, is she mad at me?"
"Why are girls so confusing?"
And I'm just like, bruh, you gotta learn
the language of women,
because you're up here listening to words
and she's delivering you braille.
You gotta feel it out, boo!
Women don't only communicate through words.
No, no, they communicate through body language.
So one way to find out what a girl is thinking
is to pay attention to the way she hugs people.
So here are all the ways a girl can hug someone
and what those hugs mean.
Number one, the cheek kiss.
Now, this hug means that the girl is probably classy as F,
travels a lot, and regularly eats brunch.
She also loves to confuse people
because they never know if it's one cheek or both cheeks,
if it's a double or a single kiss,
and she loves that.
She's like, "Mother F'ers, I wear the pants in this hug.
That's right, I sit on the Iron Throne of hugs.
I am the lead Care Bear up in here."
Now, if she does this hug
and she's meeting you for the first time,
chances are she's trying to make a really good impression.
For example, she might hug your mom like this
if you two are dating, just like, hey, cheek kiss,
future mother-in-law.
Hopefully this distracts you from the fact that
you can see my thong when I sit.
Now, if you're not meeting for the first time,
and she gives you a cheek kiss when she hugs you,
probably means she likes you more than most people,
enough to risk getting your cheek herpes.
Number two, side hug with eye contact.
Now, this hug means you're cool,
but she's not really emotionally invested into you.
There's probably a lot of people in the room
that she has to say hi or bye to,
and you're just another one on the assembly line.
You know, she can't really spending too much time in this engagement
because it doesn't align with her priorities.
Also, you're probably in the same category as,
like, her uncle that she kinda knows,
but she's not completely sure how you're related.
Number three, side hug with no eye contact.
Now, you see, this hug right here,
this hug means that, before she entered this room,
she had to mentally prepare to see you
because you are trash and she wants
no part of you in her life.
It means I'm mad at you.
I don't like you. Okay?
I would rather hug a grenade than hug you.
This hug is a complete obligation.
Yeah, I'm just hugging you because people are looking
and I don't wanna seem rude or mean.
You know, I wanna appear to be the bigger person.
And when I leave this establishment,
I'm gonna think about how stupid you and your hugs are.
Yeah, your hugs are the dumbest, okay?
Your hugs tripped over a cordless phone.
Your hugs went straight to DVD.
Get the F out of here.
Number four, two arms with squeeze.
This hug means I genuinely like you,
and care for you, and you know,
when you're not here, I might think about you spontaneously.
I hope you don't die, because you're a quality human being.
In fact, you know what, you ever ask me to hang out,
I might actually pull through and not cancel last minute
or pretend I'm sick.
Number five, two arms with neck grip.
This hug means we've made out in my mind
at least four times.
This is my way of getting my body
as close to your body as possible
without us being Siamese twins.
And through this hug, I just wanna remind you
that I have boobs.
Here they are.
And I might even arc my back a little bit,
just so you can see how flexible I am.
Number six, hug with head cradle.
You are like my child, and I will destroy
anything or anyone that tries to hurt you.
I don't care how old you are.
I don't care if you're a full-fledged adult, okay,
you are my fetus, and I will protect your neck, and your spine,
and cradle you in my bosom.
Number seven, arm latch.
She's probably in some sort of social setting,
and your arm is her safety blanket, and protection,
and escape from being social.
She's just like, "No, don't make me go out there
and talk to all these other people, no!"
It also means I'm codependent,
probably to an unhealthy extent,
but I'm okay with that.
Number eight, two arms with starfish dance thing.
This hug means you are my best friend,
and you are my mother F'ing ride or die,
and I missed you like hell
because everybody sucks compared to you.
I don't care how long this hug is.
I don't care who's watching this hug.
This hug is our moment.
This hug means you've seen me at my worst, okay.
You knew me when I was ugly.
You told me when I smelled.
Girl, you let me know when I was a ho,
and therefore we are spiritually connected always.
Number nine, hug with lift.
This hug means somebody's about to get laid, straight up,
because we probably haven't seen each other for a minute,
and I missed you, and I'm gonna put my legs
up in the air and defy gravity
just to give you a sneak peek
of what's to come later tonight.
Number ten, the dap and hug.
This hug means that we understand the similar struggle
that other people just don't get.
There's an unspoken respect between the two of us,
and we have a deep connection.
We're probably from the same city,
the same team, the same motherland,
speak the same language.
This hug means that if we ever drink together and we cheers,
I will make sure my glass physically touches your glass,
because I have that type of respect for you.
Number eleven, the wrestle hug.
This is basically the friendship bracelet of hugs,
so baby boo, if you got one of these hugs
from the girl you like,
you should know the only way your fingers
are gonna be going through her hair
is when you're braiding her hair
during a goddamn sleepover while watching Clueless.
Boy, move on.
Number twelve, head resting on shoulder hug.
This hug means, yo, everything is dumb except for you,
and I need you to hold me as I give up on life.
This hug means my post ain't getting likes.
I cheated on my diet.
I got a degree in something I hate.
Honestly, my Uber can never find me.
My new shoes keep peeling the skin
from the back of my ankles,
and I just cannot.
So please support me through this trash life.
And there you have it.
Now you know what it means when a girl hugs you,
and now, Team Super, this is your cue
to go back and check all those meet and greet pictures,
and overanalyze them, and send me all the receipts
like I know you will, ya nasties!
I love you.
And don't forget, do hugs, not drugs.
Yo, I'm hoping you like this video, straight up,
because I am sweating everywhere,
but I still wanted to make one.
It's so hot!
Check out my last video right over there,
vlogs right over there.
Trinidad, my show is tomorrow on the 30th.
Tickets are still available, link in the description,
and subscribe because I make new videos
every Monday and Thursday.
One love, Superwoman.
That is a wrap, and zoom!
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What Girls Mean When They Hug You

18686 Folder Collection
韓澐 published on August 1, 2017    gahui yu translated    Lilian Chang reviewed
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