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  • Hi. Welcome again to www.engvid.com. I'm Adam. Today's lesson, we're looking at IELTS and TOEFL,

  • the writing section, and we're going to look at the five most common mistakes that

  • I see when I'm checking students' essays. Okay? Now, as usual, for the IELTS and TOEFL

  • lesson, I will speak a little bit more natural speed, a little bit faster than usual. If

  • you're a beginner, don't worry. Watch the video, listen, practice your listening. Get

  • the vocabulary you need.

  • It's all... It's good for everybody, but just a little bit harder. Okay?

  • So, now, where do I begin? I check a lot of essays. Okay? People send me their essays,

  • I check them, I edit them, I tell them what they're doing wrong, and I've come to the

  • realization that there are certain mistakes that many, many people make. So, I want to

  • tell you five of these common mistakes so that you can avoid making them. Okay?

  • And the first one-and this is the most common mistake that I see-is that you are trying

  • too hard. Now, what does this mean? Trying hard is a good thing, right? Yes, it is. But

  • you're trying too hard to sound impressive. Okay? You're trying to impress the graders

  • of these... Of these exams, IELTS and TOEFL, you think that by using big words or lots

  • of idioms, or very, very long sentences that are very complex and have many clauses that

  • you're getting a higher score. In fact, most of the times, you're actually hurting yourselves.

  • Why? Because you're using words incorrectly, you're using them inappropriately, meaning

  • in the wrong context or the wrong usage or in the wrong parts of speech; you're using

  • a verb when you should use a noun, etc. When you write very, very long sentences, quite

  • often, you have run-on sentences, mean... Meaning you have two independent clauses in

  • one sentence, and no punctuation, and no conjunctions, and then the whole sentence falls apart and

  • means nothing. And also, a lot of people use idioms because... Yeah, idioms will get you

  • extra points, but they're using them incorrectly or in the wrong context. Again, make sure

  • you know the words you're using, make sure you know the idioms you're using, and shorter

  • sentences can actually be better. Simple is often better than complex. If you think about...

  • As an analogy, if you think about cooking, the more spices you put into the dish, the

  • less you taste the actual meat or the actual core of the dish. Simple is best.

  • Let me give you an example. Here are two sentences. Okay? Let me read them to you.

  • "The CEO", Chief Executive Officer, like the head of the company... "The CEO's tenure at the company

  • was abbreviated due to his reluctance to integrate more females into upper managerial posts,

  • thereby drawing the ire of the Board who consequently relieved him of his duties."

  • Now, this sentence is perfectly okay. It's grammatically correct, all the words are being used correctly, but

  • if you can write a sentence like this the way that I wrote it here, then you don't need

  • to worry about the IELTS or the TOEFL; your English is obviously very high level. If you

  • can do this, then this test will be very easy for you.

  • However, a lot of people, a lot of test-takers try to write this sentence, and then they

  • end up making many, many mistakes. They don't use this word correctly: "abbreviated", they

  • say: "abbreviation". Okay? That's the more common thing of it. "Abbreviated" means made

  • shorter. Okay? "Reluctance", hesitance, like not really wanting to. This word: "ire". I

  • write all the time, I write for a living. I never use this word "ire", because it's

  • so old-fashioned. And also, it's a small word. Right? So you don't need many syllables, you

  • don't need very rare words. You need to be simple, you need to get your message across.

  • The most important part of the test is: Answer the question. They give you a task, answer

  • it. Answer it clearly, concisely. Means: Use fewer words, not more words. If you can say

  • the same thing in fewer words, get the message across, make it clear, make the reader interested,

  • then you'll get higher points than if you write something like this. Okay?

  • Let's look at this sentence:

  • "The CEO's time was cut short because he wouldn't promote

  • women to top positions, which angered the Board who then fired him."

  • Okay, look at the two sentences. This sentence means exactly the same thing as this sentence.

  • Much shorter, much simpler words, much more direct delivery of the message. Now, "tenure", "time", same

  • thing. Tenure's a nice word, but if you're not going to use it correctly, then you're

  • going to lose points; not gain points. Better to write "time", and get the message across,

  • than to write "tenure" and use a word incorrectly, which means you don't actually know it, and

  • you make the whole sentence confusing to the reader. So you're actually doing two bad things.

  • We call this a "double-whammy", in case you need extra expressions.

  • A double-whammy means

  • you're hurting yourself twice. Okay? So don't do that.

  • "Ire", just say "angered". Now, if you can use the word "angered", this is a high-end word.

  • Now, you're thinking: "Angry? 'Angry' is not a high-end word." Yes, but I didn't

  • say "angry". I said "angered". If you could show the graders that you know this word so

  • well that you know how to use it as a verb... Because most people don't. Most people only

  • know "angry" or "anger", the noun. Very few people use this word as a verb. Use this word

  • as a verb, and you have your high-end vocabulary, you get your extra points. Use "ire" incorrectly

  • and you're actually losing points. Okay? Same idea, fewer words, simple words, the message

  • is clear and to the point.

  • Now, for some reason people love this idiom:

  • "a double-edged sword". Everything is a double-edged sword.

  • The problem with a double-edged sword is that there's two sides to it, and most

  • people don't realize that. Right? If you're going to use an idiom, make sure you're using

  • it correctly. So, this idiom, "a double-edged sword" means that something, or a situation,

  • or an action has both a positive side and a negative side. So if you're going to use

  • this idiom, you better explain to the reader: What is the positive, what is the negative?

  • Okay? So, this sentence is a double-edged sword. If you can write it like this, then

  • yeah, you're getting a bonus point. But on the other side of it, if you write... If you

  • make any mistakes in it, you're losing points. So be very careful with vocabulary, extra

  • words that you don't need, and idioms.

  • Now, another thing: Long, complicated sentences. They don't need to be. Remember I said they're

  • run-on sentences? Now, another thing you have to worry about is redundancy. This is a big

  • word, but I'll write it here. If something is redundant, it means it's unnecessary.

  • "The CEO's tenure at the company", now, here you noticed I put "at the company". Here... Here,

  • I didn't put "the company". Why? A CEO is a head of a company, it's understood that

  • the time at the company. I don't actually need to say it. If you can use three words

  • to say something, don't use five. If you can use five, don't use 10. Less is more, just

  • like when you're putting on makeup. Another analogy, there, for you. Okay? So, this is

  • the most common mistake. Let's look at a few more.

  • Okay, so now we're a little bit busy, here, but I'll squeeze everything into one shot

  • so it's much easier for you. What I'm going to do, I'm going to begin by looking at a

  • very classic task, either IELTS or TOEFL will give it to you. "Parents make the best teachers."

  • Do you agree or disagree? Okay. You had your introduction, we're talking about parents,

  • we're talking about education, we're talking about children. Some people believe that parents

  • are the best, some people believe teachers are the best. I think that... I agree that

  • parents are the best teachers. Okay, your introduction's done.

  • Let's get into the first body paragraph. So, first, I'm going to read this to you. This

  • is not a complete paragraph, but you'll get the idea.

  • "Firstly, parents know their child best, including what he likes and doesn't like, such as books he likes to read, or favourite

  • science topics. Parents can also talk to the child's teachers and find out from them how

  • to help him at home. They can also monitor how much TV he watches, and cutting down on

  • this might help his concentration."

  • And on and on. Okay? I didn't give you the full paragraph.

  • Not necessary; you'll understand what I'm getting at.

  • So, common mistake number two: No topic sentence. If you look at this example, I don't know

  • what this paragraph is about. Right? A topic sentence is your introduction sentence to

  • the paragraph. It's very important to remember that one paragraph has one central idea. Okay?

  • This central idea must be presented right at the beginning of the paragraph so the reader

  • knows what to expect. So, in this sentence, we're talking about parents know their child,

  • they know what he likes and what he doesn't like, they know what books he likes, they

  • know what science topics he likes. What is this paragraph about? Is it about books? Is

  • it about choosing his books or choosing his science topics? Is it about parents know their

  • child? Is it about what he likes, what he doesn't like? I'm assuming that it's: Parents

  • know their child best. Okay? So it's about the parents' knowledge of the child. That

  • is what this paragraph is about. That is why they are the best teachers, because they know

  • their child. Put a period here, and then start with your reasons. This is your topic sentence.

  • This is what the paragraph is about. Stop, start giving me your support; start elaborating

  • on this key point, and giving me the details, reasons, examples, etc.

  • Too many ideas. So, this basically goes in line with the topic... No topic sentence.

  • So then, okay, they know what he likes, what he doesn't like, his books, etc. They can

  • also talk to the child's teachers and find out how they can help him. Okay, that's another

  • way they can do. So, teachers have nobody to ask. Or maybe they have the parents. Who

  • knows? So, parents know their child best, parents can talk to the child's teachers,

  • they can find... They can monitor how much TV he watches, so they can... This is something

  • else they can do. Doesn't have anything to do with what he likes or doesn't like. They

  • can concen-... They can help his concentration by cutting down on TV. Too many ideas, here.

  • Now, too many ideas is not a bad thing if each idea is expanded on, you elaborate, you

  • explain why this is important, and you have to connect. Right? Every sentence must flow

  • in terms of ideas, logically, from one idea to the next. So, here, this... This sentence

  • and this sentence really have no connection. Here, we're talking about what he likes; here

  • about what they can do with their teachers. Two completely separate ideas, not connected

  • by anything. Okay? Next, they can talk about TV. They can cut down on TV. Okay. What does

  • that have to do with talking to the child's teachers? Nothing. Again, no connection. Different

  • idea. So the reader is going:

  • "Umm, what are you trying to do here? Like, what...? What is the purpose of this essay?

  • What is the purpose of this paragraph?" The point is you're

  • trying to support your idea, why you think parents are the best teacher.

  • Don't just throw in ideas.

  • Which brings us to point number four: Good point... So, you're making good points. There's

  • nothing wrong with the ideas, here; they're actually quite good, quite strong in terms

  • of supporting your opinion. But then you don't give me any examples. Okay? For example, if

  • you're talking about books, this is like already the second sentence, you're talking about

  • what books he likes, what science he likes... For example, if a child likes dinosaurs, the

  • parents can then go buy him a dinosaur set, a model set, or books about dinosaurs, or

  • they can take him to the museum to see... The Natural History Museum to see how dinosaurs

  • evolved, and died, and etc. Or if you're talking about TV, well, what's wrong with TV? TV can

  • be very educational. But for your purpose, you want to give the example. If the child

  • is watching too many cartoons or is watching violent movies, he's not going to be able

  • to concentrate on his math homework. Right? Or if his imagination is getting carried away,

  • how's he going to concentrate on his science lessons?

  • So, give me the points, yes, make sure that you give me concrete examples.

  • "Concrete" meaning give me a real thing, something I can actually hold onto. The dinosaur set,

  • concrete example. Cartoons on TV, concrete examples. Okay? Make sure you support your

  • reasons with examples. Make sure you support your argument with reasons. Everything has

  • to be connected. Better to take only one or two of these ideas, expand on them, and give

  • me examples to support them to make them stronger. Okay? So, this is the general idea about the

  • paragraphs in body one, body two. Same thing for body two. You're going to a new topic,

  • introduce it with a topic, make sure you have the transition between paragraph, body paragraph

  • one and two, topic sentence, reason you think so, example, maybe another point,

  • go on to your conclusion.

  • Now, this one, the last one. This is actually a bit of a pet peeve. I'll explain this expression.

  • A "pet peeve" is something that you find really annoying. Right? Something that happens all

  • the time, and it really bothers you. So I've had many students, and I've explained to them

  • this point-I'm going to explain to you in a second-and I say: "Don't do this." And then

  • their next essay, they do it again; and then their next essay, they do it again. Like,

  • you say: "Don't do it, don't do it", and they do it, and they do it. So, what is the problem?

  • Once you have your opinion, once you've decided agree or disagree, say so once. Okay? Use

  • this pronoun: "I agree", "I think", "I believe", "In my opinion" one time in the entire essay.

  • Do not say: "I think" two, three, four times. Don't say it twice in the introduction, and

  • then again in the conclusion. Say it one time in the introduction if that's where your thesis is

  • - that's it, you're done. Don't use the word: "I", "my", "me", "mine" any more in your essay.

  • The only time you can repeat the personal pronoun is if you have a very personal task

  • question. Would you prefer to live in the city or the country? Okay, in that case, you

  • can use "I", or "me", or "my" a few times, but even then, you don't need to, so don't.

  • One time, give me your opinion, that's it; don't give me any more.

  • Now, what happens is I see quite often in the introduction, I see people say:

  • "I think that A, B, C, which is why I believe C, D, E, F." Whatever.

  • Well, what is your thesis?

  • Is it the first one or the second one? Right? Usually it will be a bit clear what you're

  • trying to say, but the fact that you say two opinions makes your thesis weak, because I'm

  • not sure. You're not taking a very firm stance. If you think A, B, C, which is why you believe

  • D, E, F - well, you only think A, B, C, which is not a very strong support for D, E, F or

  • believing D, E, F. Have one firm expression: "I think" something, done. Support it the

  • rest of the essay. In the conclusion, you can restate that opinion, but you don't have

  • to say: "That is why I think", "In conclusion, I think this because that". No.

  • "In conclusion, parents make the best teachers for several reasons,

  • including knowledge of their child and" whatever your second body paragraph was.

  • I don't know. Everybody has different ideas.

  • One time in the whole essay, that's it.

  • So, these are the five common mistakes people make. Try to avoid them.

  • Your score will go up right away, I can promise you that. If you have any questions, come to www.engvid.com,

  • you can ask me questions in the forum. I will put a quiz to make sure you understand the

  • key concepts, here. If you need extra help, please visit my site, www.writetotop.com,

  • I have a lot of useful tips for writing there as well; subscribe to my YouTube channel;

  • and come back soon. I'll see you then. Bye.

Hi. Welcome again to www.engvid.com. I'm Adam. Today's lesson, we're looking at IELTS and TOEFL,

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