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  • I've been getting a lot of messages from moms

  • who have asked me how I'm super calm,

  • I've got everything under control...

  • And I just wanted to say,

  • "Oh my God, you guys, are you serious?"

  • We are going to set the record straight right now.

  • I lose my shit!

  • I lose my shit every single morning,

  • when it's time to leave the house but nobody can find their shoes.

  • People! What are you doing with your shoes?

  • Just leave them next to the door in the evening

  • and then you'll find them in the morning!

  • This by the way includes my husband.

  • I lose my shit when I'm sitting on the toilet trying to take a dump

  • and I've got three little kids and a dog staring at me,

  • "What are you doing?"

  • "I'm taking a dump."

  • "Why?"

  • "Because I need to poop."

  • "Why?"

  • "Because I had a meal a few hours ago and my body has digested the food and now it's coming out in the form of shit."

  • "Why?"

  • "I don't have any more information but if you want, we can google it."

  • "Why?"

  • Hahaha...

  • I lose my shit when we're in the car on our way somewhere 30 minutes late

  • and somebody remembers that they need to wee.

  • I asked you 20 times before we left the house if you need to wee, you said you didn't.

  • So now you're going to have to cross your legs, squeeze real tight cuz we are not going back.

  • I lose my shit when it takes my three-year-old 45 minutes to finish a piece of toast.

  • This is not caviar, you don't need to savor every single bite you're taking, just eat your toast!

  • I lose my shit when I ask my dear husband to do something and he doesn't do it.

  • Six months down the line I ask him again and he tells me that I'm nagging.

  • I lose my shit when I hear the word "snack".

  • Snack! Can we have snack? I want a snack!

  • Snack, snack snack...500 times a day!

  • I lose my shit when it's 8 pm and I've had a long day.

  • I've been to work.

  • I've cooked dinner.

  • I've done three loads of laundry.

  • I've taken the dog out.

  • I've wiped butts.

  • I've helped with homework.

  • I've read books.

  • I've checked for monsters behind the curtain.

  • I've left the light on.

  • I've left the door open.

  • And then they come out of the room...

  • I lose my shit!

  • So next time you see any mom, including me,

  • who look like they never lose their shit,

  • think again.

I've been getting a lot of messages from moms

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A2 AU snack lose wee toast dump husband

I Lose My Shit!

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    Sabrina Hsu posted on 2017/05/26
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