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  • I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT

  • SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO OUR

  • FAMILY LAST WEEK.

  • I'M SORRY.

  • YOU KNOW, I TRY NOT TO GET

  • EMOTIONAL, BUT IT WAS A SCARY

  • STORY.

  • AND BEFORE I GO INTO IT, I WANT

  • YOU TO KNOW IT HAS A HAPPY

  • ENDING.

  • OKAY?

  • SO WHEN I'M TELLING THIS, DON'T

  • GET TOO UPSET.

  • LEAVE THAT TO ME.

  • BUT A LITTLE OVER A WEEK AGO ON

  • FRIDAY, APRIL 21st, MY WIFE,

  • MOLLY, GAVE BIRTH TO A BOY.

  • A BABY BOY.

  • HIS NAME IS WILLIAM JOHN KIMMEL.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • WE CALL HIM BILLY.

  • IT WAS AN EASY DELIVERY.

  • SIX PUSHES, HE WAS OUT.

  • AND HE APPEARED TO BE A NORMAL

  • HEALTHY BABY.

  • UNTIL ABOUT THREE HOURS AFTER HE

  • WAS BORN.

  • WE WERE OUT OF THE DELIVERY

  • ROOM.

  • WE MOVED TO THE RECOVERY ROOM.

  • OUR WHOLE FAMILY WAS THERE.

  • AND WE INTRODUCED HIM TO HIS

  • 2 1/2-YEAR-OLD SISTER.

  • SHE WAS CUTE WITH HIM.

  • WE WERE HAPPY.

  • EVERYTHING WAS GOOD.

  • MY WIFE WAS IN BED RELAXING.

  • AND WHEN A VERY ATTENTIVE NURSE

  • AT CEDARS-SINAI HOSPITAL.

  • HER NAME IS NANUZH.

  • WAS CHECKING HIM OUT AND HEARD A

  • MURMUR IN HIS HEART, WHICH IS

  • COMMON WITH NEWBORN BABIES, BUT

  • SHE ALSO NOTICED HE WAS A BIT

  • PURPLE, WHICH IS NOT COMMON.

  • SO SHE ASKED ME TO COME WITH

  • HER.

  • AND MY WIFE AND I ASSUMED IT

  • WOULD BE NOTHING.

  • OUR DAUGHTER HAD A HEART MURMUR

  • TOO.

  • WE DIDN'T NOTICE THAT HE WASN'T

  • THE COLOR HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE.

  • SO I ACCOMPANIED BILLY AND THE

  • NURSE, WENT DOWN THE HALL TO

  • ANOTHER PART OF THE HOSPITAL.

  • THE NEONATAL ICU WHERE ANOTHER

  • EXCELLENT NURSE NAMED ANN

  • CHECKED HIM OUT AND CALLED THE

  • DOCTOR.

  • AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN IT FELT

  • SERIOUS.

  • AND THE ROOM STARTED TO FILL UP.

  • MORE DOCTORS AND NURSES AND

  • EQUIPMENT STARTED COMING IN.

  • AND THEY DETERMINED HE WASN'T

  • GETTING ENOUGH OXYGEN INTO HIS

  • BLOOD, WHICH AS FAR AS I

  • UNDERSTAND -- OR UNDERSTOOD AT

  • THE TIME WAS MOST LIKELY ONE OF

  • TWO THINGS, EITHER HIS HEART OR

  • HIS LUNGS.

  • AND YOU HOPE IT'S THE LUNGS

  • BECAUSE SOMETIMES THEY HAVE

  • FLUID IN THEM AFTER DELIVERY AND

  • IT'S POTENTIALLY A MINOR THING.

  • BUT THEY DID AN X-RAY AND HIS

  • LUNGS WERE FINE, WHICH MEANT HIS

  • HEART WASN'T.

  • SO NOW MORE DOCTORS AND NURSES

  • AND HE QUIT -- IT'S A TERRIFYING

  • THING.

  • YOU KNOW, MY WIFE IS BACK IN THE

  • RECOVERY ROOM.

  • SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON.

  • AND I'M STANDING IN THE MIDDLE

  • OF A LOT OF VERY WORRIED-LOOKING

  • PEOPLE KIND OF LIKE RIGHT NOW.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • WHO ARE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

  • WHAT THE PROBLEM IS.

  • IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT.

  • AND SO THEY CALL A PEDIATRIC

  • CARDIOLOGIST, DR. EBEN ZAHN, WHO

  • WHEN THEY CALLED HIM WAS PICKING

  • HIS MOTHER UP FROM THE AIRPORT.

  • LUCKILY, HER PLANE WAS NOT

  • DELAYED BECAUSE HE GOT TO THE

  • HOSPITAL VERY QUICKLY.

  • THEY DID AN ECHOCARDIOGRAM,

  • WHICH IS A SONOGRAM OF THE

  • HEART, AND FOUND THAT BILLY WAS

  • BORN WITH A HEART DISEASE.

  • SOMETHING CALLED TETRALOGY OF

  • FALLOT WITH PULMONARY ATRESIA.

  • IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN.

  • BASICALLY THE PULMONARY VALVE

  • WAS COMPLETELY BLOCKED, AND HE

  • HAS A HOLE IN THE WALL BETWEEN

  • THE LEFT AND RIGHT SIDES OF HIS

  • HEART.

  • AND THEN THEY BROUGHT MY WIFE IN

  • AND THEY WHEELED HER IN AND DR.

  • ZAHN TOLD HER WHAT WAS GOING ON

  • AND WHAT OUR OPTIONS WERE, AND

  • WE DECIDED TO TAKE HIM TO

  • CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL, WHERE

  • THERE'S A WORLD-RENOWNED CARDIAC

  • SURGEON WHO IS BY ALL ACCOUNTS A

  • GENIUS.

  • HIS NAME IS DR. VAUGHN STARNES.

  • WE PUT THE BABY IN AN AMBULANCE

  • TO CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL LOS

  • ANGELES.

  • AND ON MONDAY MORNING DR.

  • STARNES OPENED HIS CHEST AND

  • FIXED ONE OF THE TWO DEFECTS IN

  • HIS HEART.

  • HE WENT IN THERE WITH A SCALPEL

  • AND DID SOME KIND OF MAGIC THAT

  • I COULDN'T EVEN BEGIN TO

  • EXPLAIN.

  • HE OPENED THE VALVE, AND THE

  • OPERATION WAS A SUCCESS.

  • IT WAS THE LONGEST THREE HOURS

  • OF MY LIFE.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • THEY DIDN'T DO EVERYTHING.

  • HE'LL HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER OPEN

  • HEART SURGERY IN THREE TO SIX

  • MONTHS TO CLOSE THOSE HOLES.

  • BUT THEY WANT TO WAIT UNTIL HE'S

  • BIGGER, AND EVEN HE'LL HAVE A

  • THIRD HOPEFULLY NON-INVASIVE

  • PROCEDURE SOMETIME MAYBE IN HIS

  • EARLY TEENS TO REPLACE THE VALVE

  • HE HAS NOW.

  • SO THIS POOR KID, THIS IS WHAT

  • HE LOOKED LIKE ON MONDAY.

  • BUT THIS IS WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE

  • YESTERDAY.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • WE BROUGHT HIM HOME.

  • POOR KID.

  • NOT ONLY DO YOU GET A BAD HEART,

  • HE GOT MY FACE.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • SIX DAYS AFTER OPEN HEART

  • SURGERY WE GOT TO BRING HIM

  • HOME, WHICH IS AMAZING.

  • HE'S DOING GREAT.

  • HE'S EATING.

  • HE'S SLEEPING.

  • HE PEED ON HIS MOTHER TODAY

  • WHILE SHE WAS CHANGING HIS

  • DIAPER.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • [ APPLAUSE ]

  • HE'S DOING ALL THE THINGS THAT

  • HE'S SUPPOSED TO DO.

  • AND OUR DAUGHTER -- HERE'S A

  • PICTURE OF MY WIFE AND ME AND

  • BILLY AND OUR DAUGHTER JANE.

  • AND YOU CAN SEE JANE'S PRETTY

  • EXCITED ABOUT HAVING ANOTHER KID

  • IN THE HOUSE.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.

  • THEY TELL YOU WHEN YOU BRING THE

  • NEW BABY HOME BRING A GIFT FOR

  • THE OLDER SIBLING AND TELL HER

  • IT'S FROM THE BABY.

  • AS IF WE GAVE BIRTH TO THE

  • EASTER BUNNY OR SOMETHING.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • IT MAKES NO SENSE.

  • BUT THAT'S WHAT THEY TELL YOU TO

  • DO.

  • SO WE BROUGHT JANE THESE

  • SHOPKINS.

  • DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE?

  • THEY'RE LIKE TINY LITTLE

  • CUPCAKES AND DONUTS WITH FACES

  • ON THEM.

  • AND WE SAID BILLY BOUGHT THESE

  • FOR YOU.

  • AND SHE BELIEVED IT.

  • SHE'S NOT TOO BRIGHT.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • I MEAN, HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE

  • MONEY.

  • NOT ONLY --

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • DOESN'T HE HAVE MONEY.

  • HE DOESN'T HAVE A PLACE TO PUT

  • MONEY.

  • HE HAS NO WALLET.

  • HOW WOULD HE BUY THESE FOR HER?

  • AS FAR AS SHE KNOWS, THE BABY IS

  • SIGNED UP FOR AMAZON PRIME.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • BUT SHE LIKES HIM OKAY.

  • THIS IS ANOTHER PICTURE.

  • THIS IS THE BEST.

  • THERE'S ME IN A COMA.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • AND I HAVE A LIST OF PEOPLE I

  • WANT TO THANK FOR MAKING THAT

  • HAPPEN.

  • AND I HOPE I HAVE MY LIST.

  • THESE ARE JUST SOME OF THE

  • PEOPLE WHO PLAYED A PART IN

  • THIS.

  • IT WAS AN ENORMOUS TEAM EFFORT.

  • REALLY WAS.

  • AT CEDARS-SINAI HOSPITAL FIRST

  • OF ALL I WANT TO THANK NA

  • NANUSH SHAKERNIA, THE NURSE WHO

  • WAS THE FIRST TO NOTICE THERE

  • WAS A PROBLEM.

  • [ APPLAUSE ]

  • IF IT WAS A GIRL, WE WOULD HAVE

  • NAMED HER NANUSH.

  • WE REALLY WOULD HAVE.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • AND THE OTHER NURSES AT CEDARS.

  • DESIREE, LAURIE, ASHLEY,

  • THERESA, SUSAN, ALEXIS.

  • THE HEAD NURSE IN INTENSIVE CARE

  • ANN DE MAYO, WHO'S GREAT.

  • NURSE JOAN BACALL, WHO WAS AT

  • HIS SIDE THE WHOLE TIME.

  • DR. EBEN ZAHN.

  • AND ALSO HIS MOTHER, WHO

  • PROBABLY DIDN'T GET HER LUGGAGE

  • BECAUSE HE PICKED HER UP AT THE

  • AIRPORT.

  • DR. SCOTT COHEN, DR. STACY

  • ROSENBAUM, DR. TIM CASARES.

  • ALL FOR BEING SO GREAT.

  • AND THE TRULY AWE-INSPIRING TEAM

  • AT CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL LOS

  • ANGELES LED BY DR. VAUGHN

  • STARNES, WHO SAVES SO MANY

  • LIVES.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • THIS MAN HAS SAVED THOUSANDS OF

  • LIVES AND TURNED SO MUCH SORROW

  • INTO HAPPINESS.

  • I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO THANK HIM

  • FOR -- SO I WON'T EVEN TRY.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • AND ALL THE GREAT DOCTORS AT

  • CHLA.

  • DR. SYLVIA DEL CASTILLO.

  • DR. ERIN ABARBANEL.

  • BARBARA GROSS WHO RUNS THE HEART

  • INSTITUTE.

  • AND OUR UNBELIEVABLY KIND AND

  • CARING NURSES, ESPECIALLY KRISTA

  • CALLAN AND CARRIE DUBLIN.

  • BUT THEY WERE ALL SO EXCELLENT.

  • ELLESE, JOSIE, RHEA.

  • DR. DONALD SEABACK, OUR

  • RESPIRATORY THERAPIST WHO KEPT

  • BILLY BREATHING THE WHOLE TIME.

  • THIS IS SOME PLACE CHILDREN'S

  • HOSPITAL LOS ANGELES.

  • I HOPE YOU NEVER HAVE TO GO

  • THERE, BUT IF YOU DO YOU'LL SEE

  • SO MANY KIDS FROM SO MANY

  • FINANCIAL BACKGROUNDS BEING

  • CARED FOR SO WELL AND WITH SO

  • MUCH COMPASSION.

  • I'VE BEEN SUPPORTING CHILDREN'S

  • HOSPITAL FOR YEARS.

  • I HAD NO IDEA WE'D EVER WIND UP

  • THERE.

  • AND IF YOU'D LIKE TO SUPPORT THE

  • WORK THEY DO, THE INFORMATION IS

  • THERE AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR

  • SCREEN.

  • PLEASE DO.

  • WE WERE ON THE COSTCO FLOOR,

  • WHICH I CONSIDER TO BE A GOOD

  • OMEN BECAUSE IT'S MY FAVORITE

  • STORE.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • [ APPLAUSE ]

  • AND THAT'S -- COSTCO SPONSORS

  • THE SECOND FLOOR, WHICH IS

  • GREAT.

  • AND THANKS TO ALL THE COMPANIES

  • WHO SUPPORT CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL,

  • INCLUDING MY COMPANY, DISNEY

  • ABC, WHICH SUPPORTS THEM

  • FINANCIALLY.

  • I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE HERE AT

  • ABC WHO WERE EXCEPTIONALLY KIND

  • AND PATIENT WITH ME, LETTING ME

  • STAY OUT OF WORK LAST WEEK.

  • BEN SHERWOOD, CHANNING DUNGY.

  • ROD MILLS.

  • CARA KENNEDY, BOB AND WILLOW

  • IGER.

  • ESPECIALLY THANKS TO EVERYONE

  • HERE AT THE SHOW.

  • ALL MY CO-WORKERS WHO SENT A BOX

  • OF CARDS.

  • THAT MEANT A LOT TO MY WIFE.

  • I DIDN'T READ THEM.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • BUT THEY MEANT A LOT TO HER.

  • THANKS TO MY WORK -- I WANT TO

  • THANK MY WORK FAMILY AND MY

  • ACTUAL FAMILY, STARTING WITH MY

  • COUSIN DR. DENISE HAYES, WHO

  • HAPPENS TO BE A PEDIATRIC

  • CARDIOLOGIST IN NEW YORK.

  • THERE'S ONE SMART PERSON IN OUR

  • FAMILY.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • AND SHE COUNSELED US.

  • SHE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING TO

  • EVERYONE IN OUR FAMILY OVER AND

  • OVER AGAIN SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO.

  • THANK YOU, DENISE.

  • AND SPECIAL EXTRA THANKS TO MY

  • MOM AND DAD AND MY MOTHER-IN-LAW

  • MICKEY.

  • MY KIDS, DANNY AND KEN, MY

  • COUSINS, MY SISTER, MY BROTHER,

  • MY SISTERS-IN-LAW, MY

  • BROTHERS-IN-LAW.

  • THEY ALL REALLY CAME THROUGH IN

  • SO MANY WAYS, AS DID MY FRIENDS.

  • EVERY ONE OF MY FRIENDS WERE

  • THERE 100% OF THE TIME FOR US.

  • WE HAD ATHEISTS PRAYING FOR US.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • OKAY?

  • WE HAD PEOPLE WHO DID NOT

  • BELIEVE IN GOD --

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • -- PRAYING TO HIM.

  • AND I HATE BEING -- I HATE

  • HAVING TO SAY IT.

  • EVEN THAT SON OF A BITCH MATT

  • DAMON SENT FLOWERS.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • SO THANK YOU.

  • I WANT TO SAY ALSO THANKS TO

  • GUILLERMO FOR ALL THE SWEET

  • TEXTS AND E-MAILS.

  • I COULD BARELY READ ANY OF THEM.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • BUT IT WAS THE THOUGHT THAT

  • REALLY COUNTED.

  • AND CLETO, I HAVE TO SAY CLETO,

  • CLETO SR.

  • CLETO'S MOM SYLVIA, CLETO SR.'S

  • WIFE SYLVIA WHO'S LIKE A SECOND

  • MOTHER TO ME NEVER HAS ANY HUMAN

  • BEING EVER TEXTED MORE PRAYING

  • HANDS EMOJIS TO ANOTHER HUMAN

  • BEING THAN CLETO'S MOM DID TO

  • ME.

  • I HAD TO UPGRADE MY PHONE JUST

  • TO HANDLE THEM ALL.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • SO THANK YOU, SYLVIA.

  • AND MOST OF ALL I WANT TO THANK

  • MY WIFE, MOLLY.

  • FIRST OF ALL FOR ALLOWING ME TO

  • HAVE SEX WITH HER IN THE FIRST

  • PLACE.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • THAT WAS HUGE RIGHT THERE.

  • [ APPLAUSE ]

  • SO FEW HAVE DONE THAT.

  • BUT ALSO FOR BEING SO STRONG AND

  • LEVELHEADED AND POSITIVE AND

  • LOVING DURING THE WORST

  • NIGHTMARE A NEW MOTHER COULD

  • EXPERIENCE.

  • I COULDN'T ASK FOR A BETTER

  • PARTNER.

  • I'M SO HAPPY WE HAD THIS BABY

  • TOGETHER.

  • I'M DEFINITELY GETTING A

  • VASECTOMY AFTER THIS.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • AND I WANT TO SAY ONE OTHER

  • THING.

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP LAST MONTH

  • PROPOSED A $6 BILLION CUT IN

  • FUNDING TO THE NATIONAL

  • INSTITUTE OF HEALTH.

  • AND THANK GOD OUR CONGRESSMEN

  • MADE A DEAL LAST NIGHT TO NOT GO

  • ALONG WITH THAT.

  • THEY ACTUALLY INCREASED FUNDING

  • BY $2 BILLION.

  • AND I APPLAUD THEM FOR DOING

  • THAT.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • BECAUSE MORE THAN 40% OF THE

  • PEOPLE WHO'D HAVE BEEN AFFECTED

  • BY THOSE CUTS IN THE NATIONAL

  • INSTITUTES OF HEALTH ARE

  • CHILDREN, AND IT WOULD HAVE A

  • MAJOR IMPACT ON A LOT OF GREAT

  • PLACES INCLUDING CHILDREN'S

  • HOSPITAL IN LOS ANGELES, WHICH

  • IS SO UNBELIEVABLY SAD TO ME.

  • WE WERE BROUGHT UP TO BELIEVE

  • THAT WE LIVE IN THE GREATEST

  • COUNTRY IN THE WORLD, BUT UNTIL

  • A FEW YEARS AGO MILLIONS AND

  • MILLIONS OF US HAD NO ACCESS TO

  • HEALTH INSURANCE AT ALL.

  • YOU KNOW, BEFORE 2014 IF YOU

  • WERE BORN WITH CONGENITAL HEART

  • DISEASE LIKE MY SON WAS, THERE

  • WAS A GOOD CHANCE YOU'D NEVER BE

  • ABLE TO GET HEALTH INSURANCE

  • BECAUSE YOU HAD A PRE-EXISTING

  • CONDITION.

  • YOU WERE BORN WITH A

  • PRE-EXISTING CONDITION.

  • AND IF YOUR PARENTS DIDN'T HAVE

  • MEDICAL INSURANCE YOU MIGHT NOT

  • LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO EVEN GET

  • DENIED BECAUSE OF A PRE-EXISTING

  • CONDITION.

  • IF YOUR BABY IS GOING TO DIE AND

  • IT DOESN'T HAVE TO, IT SHOULDN'T

  • MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE.

  • I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING THAT

  • WHETHER YOU'RE A REPUBLICAN OR A

  • DEMOCRAT OR SOMETHING ELSE, WE

  • ALL AGREE ON THAT, RIGHT?

  • I MEAN, WE DO.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • WHATEVER YOUR PARTY, WHATEVER

  • YOU BELIEVE, WHOEVER YOU

  • SUPPORT, WE NEED TO MAKE SURE

  • THAT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE SUPPOSED

  • TO REPRESENT US, PEOPLE WHO ARE

  • MEETING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW IN

  • WASHINGTON, UNDERSTAND THAT VERY

  • CLEARLY.

  • LET'S STOP WITH THE NONSENSE.

  • THIS ISN'T FOOTBALL.

  • THERE ARE NO TEAMS.

  • WE ARE THE TEAM.

  • IT'S THE UNITED STATES.

  • DON'T LET THEIR PARTISAN

  • SQUABBLES DIVIDE US ON SOMETHING

  • EVERY DECENT PERSON WANTS.

  • [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

  • WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF EACH

  • OTHER.

  • I SAW A LOT OF FAMILIES THERE.

  • AND NO PARENT SHOULD EVER HAVE

  • TO DECIDE IF THEY CAN AFFORD TO

  • SAVE THEIR CHILD'S LIFE.

  • IT JUST SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.

  • NOT HERE.

  • SO ANYWAY.

  • THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.

  • I PROMISE I'M NOT GOING TO CRY

  • FOR THE REST OF THE SHOW.

  • [ LAUGHTER ]

  • PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR OR SEND

  • POSITIVE THOUGHTS TO THE

  • FAMILIES WITH CHILDREN WHO ARE

  • STILL IN THE HOSPITAL NOW.

  • BECAUSE THEY NEED IT.

  • AND THANKS.

  • WE HAVE A SPECIAL SHOW TONIGHT.

I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT

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