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  • Every morning when the sun peeks through my blinds,

  • I wake up and hold my phone an inch away from my face to check Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr.

  • Being "in the loop" of these social worlds keeps us powerfully attached to our devices.

  • A recent poll found that American adults would rather live without a car, coffee or sex than

  • live without a smartphone.

  • So how does our relationship with technology affect our relationship with other people?

  • Last year, study found that excessive Facebook use is damaging towards relationships, where

  • higher use is correlated with a higher frequency of feelings of jealousy

  • and Facebook-related conflict.

  • Our use of technology and devices is on the rise,

  • and it does change the way couples of all ages communicate, show affection and share special moments.

  • Is it for better or worse?

  • Or is it better and worse?

  • That's Emily from Blink Pop Shift.

  • Once our bodies are satisfied. Once we have the whole food, water, safety and shelter thing figured out,

  • our next big need is love.

  • We need to feel like we belong to a family and a friend group and a partnership.

  • But is our technological skin bringing us together or distracting us from real connection?

  • It's not clean or easy but the answer is: a bit of both.

  • And it means different things to different people.

  • How you use your smartphone depends on your attachment style in relationships.

  • One study found that a greater use of social network apps

  • was positively associated with intimacy and support for people with higher attachment anxiety.

  • So it's seems like there's a feedback loop.

  • People with more attachment anxiety in relationships alleviate this by using their phone to seek more contact and intimacy from their partner,

  • which leads to more of an attachment to their partner and maybe even to their phones themselves.

  • But personalization also contributes to our attachment.

  • Our phones become repositories of our contacts, of our photos and messages, of our memories.

  • They contain the record, a proof of love that we can go back to and reread.

  • Because we use them tell our stories,

  • our phones become emblems of social life, not merely inert tools for enabling it.

  • And so often it's these handhelds and technology that's seen as the victim.

  • Mobile phone addiction ruining relationships

  • 9 Ways Technology Can Ruin Your Relationship

  • Technology overload can ruin relationships: expert

  • How Texting Can Ruin Relationships

  • Sure, higher Facebook use leads to more feelings of jealousy in relationships and Facebook-related conflict

  • But feelings aside, surely, excessive bacon consumption would lead to more bacon-related conflict,

  • and excessive Game of Thrones consumption would lead to more Game of Thrones-related conflict.

  • In a recent study, only 10 percent of married or committed Internet users say the Internet's

  • had a "major impact" on their relationship.

  • 17 percent said it had a minor impact,

  • and 74 percent said it had "no real impact at all" or that the impact was positive.

  • The internet and social media and smartphone and apps do change the way we communicate,

  • but they don't ruin relationships.

  • They're tools that enable your behavior, whether that's good or bad.

  • It's not technology. It's you.

  • We're not so much addicted to our devices as we are to each other and the quantization of those interactions.

  • And we've invented ways around the previous boundaries of social interaction:

  • geography and time.

  • Jump over to Blink Pop Shift, where Emily has a look at the social tech of old

  • and asks if things are really all that different.

  • Let us know what you think about relationships and technology in the comments.

  • And if you haven't already, subscribe to BrainCraft for a new video every other week.

Every morning when the sun peeks through my blinds,

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Does Technology Ruin Relationships?

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    Joy posted on 2017/04/26
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