I wake up and hold my phone an inch away from my face to check Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr.

Being "in the loop" of these social worlds keeps us powerfully attached to our devices.

A recent poll found that American adults would rather live without a car, coffee or sex than

live without a smartphone.

So how does our relationship with technology affect our relationship with other people?

Last year, study found that excessive Facebook use is damaging towards relationships, where

higher use is correlated with a higher frequency of feelings of jealousy

and Facebook-related conflict.

Our use of technology and devices is on the rise,

and it does change the way couples of all ages communicate, show affection and share special moments.

Is it for better or worse?

Or is it better and worse?

That's Emily from Blink Pop Shift.

Once our bodies are satisfied. Once we have the whole food, water, safety and shelter thing figured out,

our next big need is love.

We need to feel like we belong to a family and a friend group and a partnership.

But is our technological skin bringing us together or distracting us from real connection?

It's not clean or easy but the answer is: a bit of both.

And it means different things to different people.

How you use your smartphone depends on your attachment style in relationships.

One study found that a greater use of social network apps

was positively associated with intimacy and support for people with higher attachment anxiety.

So it's seems like there's a feedback loop.

People with more attachment anxiety in relationships alleviate this by using their phone to seek more contact and intimacy from their partner,

which leads to more of an attachment to their partner and maybe even to their phones themselves.

But personalization also contributes to our attachment.

Our phones become repositories of our contacts, of our photos and messages, of our memories.

They contain the record, a proof of love that we can go back to and reread.

Because we use them tell our stories,

our phones become emblems of social life, not merely inert tools for enabling it.

And so often it's these handhelds and technology that's seen as the victim.

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Sure, higher Facebook use leads to more feelings of jealousy in relationships and Facebook-related conflict

But feelings aside, surely, excessive bacon consumption would lead to more bacon-related conflict,

and excessive Game of Thrones consumption would lead to more Game of Thrones-related conflict.

In a recent study, only 10 percent of married or committed Internet users say the Internet's

had a "major impact" on their relationship.

17 percent said it had a minor impact,

and 74 percent said it had "no real impact at all" or that the impact was positive.

The internet and social media and smartphone and apps do change the way we communicate,

but they don't ruin relationships.

They're tools that enable your behavior, whether that's good or bad.

It's not technology. It's you.

We're not so much addicted to our devices as we are to each other and the quantization of those interactions.

And we've invented ways around the previous boundaries of social interaction:

geography and time.

Jump over to Blink Pop Shift, where Emily has a look at the social tech of old

and asks if things are really all that different.

Let us know what you think about relationships and technology in the comments.

And if you haven't already, subscribe to BrainCraft for a new video every other week.