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  • where parents feel a kid can't be successful

  • unless the parent is protecting and preventing at every turn

  • and hovering over every happening

  • and micromanaging every moment

  • and steering their kid towards some small subset

  • of colleges and careers.

  • Our kids end up leading a kind of checklisted childhood,

  • and here's what the checklisted childhood looks like.

  • We want to be sure they go to the right schools,

  • but not just that,

  • that they're in the right classes at the right schools,

  • and that they get the right grades in the right classes

  • in the right schools.

  • And when they get to high school,

  • they don't say, "Well, what might I be interested

  • in studying or doing as an activity?"

  • They go to counselors, and they say,

  • "What do I need to do to get into the right college?"

  • And then when the grades start to roll in in high school,

  • and they're getting some B's

  • or, god forbid, some C's,

  • they frantically text their friends and say,

  • "Has anyone ever gotten into the right college

  • with these grades?"

  • And they're withering now

  • under high rates of anxiety and depression,

  • and some of them are wondering,

  • will this life ever turn out to have been worth it?

  • Well, we parents, we parents are pretty sure it's all worth it.

  • We seem to behave--

  • It's, like, we literally think they will have no future

  • if they don't get into one of these tiny set of colleges

  • or careers we have in mind for them,

  • or maybe, maybe we're just afraid

  • they won't have a future we can brag about to our friends

  • and with stickers on the backs of our cars.

  • Yeah.

  • [Applause]

where parents feel a kid can't be successful

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TED TALKS | Education Revolution | Julie Lythcott-Haims: A Check-Listed Childhood | PBS

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    chung posted on 2017/04/16
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