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I tell you what, it's spring.
I think it starts next week, right?
Yeah, love is in the air.
(applause) Yeah, think about it.
Love is literally in the air, because everyone uses their mobile devices to
find dates, so at any, moment there are millions of dirty messages and
sexy pictures flying through the air, right past our faces.
It's disgusting, it's what it is.
How many of you use dating apps?
(applause) All right, some proud,
some not going to raise your hand.
(laugh) Been a long time since
I've had to date.
But back then, a dating app was when you took someone out for
an appetizer because you couldn't afford the entire entrée.
But now there's all sorts of dating apps.
There's a popular one called Bumble.
And it is free.
You know Bumble.
Yeah. (applause)
It is free and
encourages women to make the first move, which I fully support.
Back when I was dating, it was pretty much always the woman making the first move.
(laugh) It's a great idea,
because they wanna empower women, and
make sure they feel comfortable, and they say the best quality people are on bumble.
And I've always said that I have the best quality people in my audience, and
it turns out.
(applause) Yes, yes.
(applause) Well, it turns out both are true.
Because a lot of you have bumble profiles, and I wanna ask you about them.
Sarah Isley is here.
Where's Sarah Isley?
(applause How are you doing?
Hi, Ellen. (laugh)
Hi, Sarah.
How are you doing?
Are you on a date?
Are you with somebody?
(laugh) No, unfortunately.
This will be a great first date.
Yeah, it wouldn't be a great first date.
I think. Everybody
should keep that in mind out there.
(laugh) Let's look at your Bumble
profile, okay?
Good. All right.
(laugh) Now, how's that workout for you so far?
It's really not too well yet.
Well. Okay.
You know why?
I'll tell you.
I'm gonna giving you some advice, you kind of, are hiding your face on a (laugh).
There's one that's not on here but you were hiding your face with a dog,
you're hiding your face with a cat, and you're covering your face and
making your eye ball look gigantic.
Then obviously this is a horse,
you're on a horse there.
So maybe you just needed one good picture of yourself.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, I'll try it.
Yeah. At least you use your profile in a very
intriguing way because down at the bottom you have two truths and a lie.
And I'm going to try to guess right now what it is cuz I like things like this.
So, one, I have a tattoo of a horse.
Two, I've been swimming with sharks.
Three, I can say the alphabet backwards.
I think... well, I don't think you have a tattoo of a horse.
You do?
I do.
Then my second choice was going to be swimming with sharks.
No. I've done that too.
I'm very adventurous.
(laugh) My third choice was going to be.
Good effort.
It's a great conversation starter, right?
It is, it is.
I always wanted to talk to you, so it's working.
(laugh) It is. Yeah.
Not really working working,
cuz I'm married. Right.
You're right, you're right.
But I see what you mean.
So, you cannot... just try it, you've never tried to do the alphabet backwards.
You said you were adventurous, try to do it backwards right now.
- Okay. Um.. Z, X.. Z, Y - All right. Nevermind.
We don't have that kind of time.
I've got people on the show that I have to talk to.
Well, good luck to you and
you got some camera times so maybe people would go to your profile now and they.
Maybe we could do a profile pic later.
Yeah, no.
I will. I'll do that for sure.
Teerica Patterson, hi did I say that right?
Terick. Teerika it's Erika but
then you added a T in the front of it.
Fancy .
- It's fancy. Teerika - Yeah.
All right. Let's take a look at your profile, okay?
Here you are here.
Now, first of all.
Ooh, ooh. They like that.
That's good.
Why did you decide to join Bumble?
Well, my friend was telling me about all the hot,
white successful guys that are on the site.
She thinks I should start dating white guys.
She says give them a shot.
- And? - There are so
many successful hot white guys on that site. She was right.
Have you met any of the men that now? No?
- I couldn't do it... I couldn't do it, I pick a black guy when I got on there. - No?
Yeah okay.
Well, let me, did you take this with your webcam?
Is that how you took the picture?
- Yes, I did. - Okay, well,
I'm not sure you know how to put a picture up either, because there's this one, and
then here's one that's entirely too close.
I don't know,
I mean, this is like to examine your pores, or something like that.
And then you have one that's a full shot, but look what happened, there you're-
You're sideways.
That's kinda weird, don't you think?
I couldn't fix it.
I know, but you still put it up.
What do you do?
I am a relationship coach.
(laugh) (applause)
So you're helping other people and
you can't find somebody yourself.
They need me to help them to make their relationships better.
Right. Maybe you should split away them up so
you could be with the guy.
(laugh) Or girl.
Yeah, maybe figure out who a good guy is and then say that y'all aren't right
for each other, and then you. - No, I wouldn't do that.
No? All right. You're more ethical than I am.
All right.
Where is Chris Romo?
- Hi. - Hi.
Hi Kris, how are you?
I'm well. How are you?
I'm fantastic.
So here's your Bumble profile, let's take a look at this.
And you start out saying I'm easy.
And what is that?
My God, there's such a-
I mean, what do you mean by that?
I should have said it's easy, not I'm easy.
I guess. - Well
I guess.
Yeah, but then you posted this, so it kinda...
My God.
I mean have you gotten many responses to your profile?
Ah. A lot.
(laugh) I don't, I don't.
All right, Teerica and Sarah, pay attention to what you should be putting on
your (laugh)
I'm easy and wear a **** t-shirt.
(laugh) I thought you would like,
who **** it better?
That would have been better.
Yeah, all right.
Well, thank you for talking to me and hopefully all of you find love and
I would like to spread love right now with the dance.
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Ellen's Dating App Advice

54600 Folder Collection
郭璧如 published on November 17, 2017    Gloria Ting translated    黃艾瑄 reviewed
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