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  • And now, a special message from me.

  • Thank me! Thank me! Thank me!

  • Welcome to my 24/7 Youtube live stream.

  • Today I will be talking about various things, and very big things, in the world of things.

  • That's right. This is how your president talks now.

  • Well, it's been another crazy weekend for Donald Trump; in case you didn't hear the news, I'll tell you now.

  • I shot four under parmy best golf score yet.

  • But that's not what the fake news media reported on so it's time for me to take matters into my own abnormally gigantic hands.

  • The only way to ensure that the news you're watching is not fake is if I'm the one delivering it,

  • which is why I'm starting the Trump News Network.

  • This is TNN.

  • Welcome to TNN,

  • the only news network that is 100

  • Our top story tonight:

  • Sweden is still reeling from Friday's incident that absolutely did happen.

  • Details are still unclear but we're getting word it was definitely real,

  • and 100% not made up.

  • Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the Swedish men, women and fish.

  • Nextly, President Me just announced his pick for National Security Advisor, H.R. McMaster.

  • Normally, when I'm talking to H.R., it's because one of my female employees is threatening to sue.

  • But now H.R. is going to stand for "huge ratings."

  • That's right. We got McMaster. We got McMaster.

  • We're even teaming up with McDonald's to release a new burger in his honor, called "The McMaster".

  • It's two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese.

  • And honestly, it was the only burger that said "yes".

  • Nextly and sportsly, a new study finds that golf totally counts as work.

  • And now, for full weather report, here's our meteorologist, Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos.

  • Hi, hi, I'm a weatherman.

  • Betsy, talk!

  • Oh...uh...oh...we can expect sunny skies today.

  • I like this sun. Whenever it comes out, I say, "Hello, sun!", and look right at it,

  • and sometimes my eyes burn. I'm a weatherman!

  • Thank you very much, Betsy, thank you.

  • Let's get back to the real news, because there's a lot of bad things out there that people aren't talking about.

  • In fact, let's find out what the next big news story is going to be,

  • using my 100

  • Oh no! There's been a Godzilla Attack in Finland! Finland!

  • Finland! Can you believe it? And Godzilla, of all people!

  • We really need to capture Godzilla and send it back to China!

  • Well, that's all for this TNN report.

  • I've got to get back to work.

  • Show the logo. Cue the music.

And now, a special message from me.

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