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  • And I can do this, whicharen’t we recording?

  • What’s that red dot mean?

  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and life you love.

  • Now, if youve ever wondered whether your anxiety about a decision is your intuition

  • telling younoor just a fear that you really should overcome, today’s episode

  • is for you.

  • This question comes from Kouros and he writes:

  • Hi Marie.

  • I appreciate all the incredible wisdom you share on your show.

  • Here is my Q. How can you tell if the anxiety youre feeling over a decision is an intuitive

  • no or a sign of a comfort zone you need to break through?

  • Thanks, Kouros.”

  • Kouros, great question, my friend.

  • Most of us have had that experience of facing a big decision and feeling really torn up

  • about it.

  • You know, sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between a fear that’s holding you back from

  • a growth experience versus an intuitive hunch that’s actually saving you from a big, expensive

  • mistake.

  • You know, whenever I found myself in that position, and it happens often, there are

  • 4 tests that I put myself through to help myself get clear.

  • So I want to walk you through each one of them.

  • Test number one is a physical test.

  • So here’s what I do any time I’m faced with a decision and I feel a little bit torn

  • about it.

  • I always tap into my physical body and I ask myself the question, do I feel expansive when

  • I think about this or contracted?

  • So this is really subtle.

  • You have to really pay attention to your inner sensations.

  • And when you ask the question whether or not you want to do something, if you feel an instant

  • sense of dread or heaviness or something in your body just going no or you actually notice

  • your body subtly moving back, those can all fall under the umbrella of feeling contracted.

  • Now, on the other hand, you might ask yourself do I want to do this, and all of a sudden

  • inside you notice a very subtle shift where something feels lighter, something feels brighter.

  • Perhaps your physical body actually moves forward.

  • Or even if it sounds a little scary, something in you just feels bigger.

  • That would be an example of something that is expansive.

  • So clearly, contraction for me is a big no and expansion or expansiveness is a big yes.

  • Now, for me this is really the most important test there is because I believe there is intelligence

  • that lives in the physical body that bypasses your mind, your logic, and your ego.

  • You know, Shakira says my hips don't lie and I would like to extend that to say your body

  • doesn’t lie.

  • But I know that everyone is not exactly like me and perhaps you don't quite have the facility

  • to feel your truth physically yet, in which case this next test might be for you.

  • Test number two, WCS or worst case scenario test.

  • So this one is fairly straightforward, but you would be surprised how many people don't

  • take the time to really drill down into the worst, worst, worst case scenario that could

  • possibly happen as a result from any decision and see if they can actually deal with it.

  • So Kouros, when you feel that pit in your stomach, here’s what I want you to ask yourself.

  • What is the very worst thing that could happen if this decision turned out to be all wrong,

  • like way wrong?

  • And then here’s the part that most people miss.

  • How exactly, specifically, would you deal with it?

  • So I don't want you to just say this out loud or think through it in your mind.

  • I want you to actually write it down.

  • What is the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen and what would that mean to

  • you emotionally and mentally and financially?

  • So is it a matter of losing some money, could you lose your job or your business?

  • You know, sometimes the worst thing that could happen is that you’d be embarrassed or humiliated

  • or wind up with no pants.

  • You know, this really isn’t that bad.

  • It’s kind of got a nice breeze.

  • Once you write down the very worst things that could happen, here’s what I want you

  • to do in addition.

  • I want you to write down the exact steps that you would take to get back on your feet.

  • In other words, what I want you to do is deal with that worst case scenario in advance.

  • You know, when we actually do this and write everything down, we realize that even if the

  • decision was the worst thing in the world and everything went to hell in a handbasket,

  • there would be something we could do to lift ourselves up and get back on our feet.

  • So once you write all of this down, the worst thing that could possibly happen, if it’s

  • beyond what you're willing to risk, then I gotta tell you, youve got your answer.

  • Don't do it.

  • But if you do all these steps and youre still a little bit confused, I want you to

  • try this next test.

  • Test number three, the BCS: best case scenario.

  • Ok, so now that youve faced down the very worst things that could possibly happen, we

  • want to look on the flipside.

  • Let’s look at the best case scenario.

  • This is a fun one.

  • So in other words, think through what are all the possible payoffs that might come from

  • saying yes to this decision?

  • Will you finally start living that dream you've been talking to yourself about forever?

  • Will you maybe learn a tremendous amount about yourself?

  • Will you grow as a human being?

  • Are there financial upsides or creative upsides or freedom upsides that can only come if you

  • take a chance and say yes?

  • So don't just run through this in your head.

  • Once again, I want you to write it down.

  • Make it clear, make it specific, make it detailed, make it super concrete.

  • So these first three tests that weve just talked about should help you find tremendous

  • clarity.

  • And these are great, especially if you have to make a decision and you have to make it

  • fairly quickly.

  • But there is one more really useful test that you need to know about, and this is another

  • one of my favorites.

  • Test number four is called the work it test.

  • This is a really good one if youve been vacillating for a long time about something

  • and trying to figure out in your head.

  • This one will give you your fix.

  • So it’s based on one of my life mantras, clarity comes from engagement, not thought.

  • You see, when it comes to a lot of big life decisions or business decisions, sometimes

  • you just can’t figure it out in your head and you can’t even figure it out on paper.

  • You have to find a way to experience it.

  • So I want you to ask yourself, is there some way that you can test drive this opportunity?

  • Can you take a first step?

  • Can you take a class?

  • Can you do a test run in some way?

  • Can you try it on a small scale, even if it’s just an experiment?

  • So for example, if I was considering, let’s say, moving to Sicily, I wouldn't just pack

  • up my things and sell my house and jump on the next plane to Palermo.

  • Right?

  • I would figure out a way first to perhaps, I don't know, rent an apartment.

  • Try living there for a few weeks and see what it actually feels like to work there and walk

  • around the neighborhood and eat spaghetti every night.

  • The same thing is true with, let’s say, changing careers.

  • Can you find a way to do an internship or a test project or take a class in that field

  • before you quit your job and announce to the world that you are leaving your profession?

  • You see, the beauty of the work it test is that you can try something out before you

  • go all in.

  • And, I’ve gotta tell you, whatever decision that you wind up with, know this.

  • Despite our fears, most decisions, theyre not permanent.

  • Most things you can stop or evolve or reverse.

  • Or, in the words of the great Missy Elliott:

  • Is it worth it?

  • Let me work it.

  • I’ll put my thing down, flip it, and reverse it.”

  • Wait, no.

  • Wait.

  • That’s not how she said it, right?

  • I think it’s more like this.

  • Missy is also known for saying, “Ra ta ta ta, ta ta ta ta ta ta.

  • Work it.

  • I need a glass of water.”

  • And with that, Kouros, that is my A to your Q.

  • Now my friend, I would love to hear from you.

  • Do you have a decision that youve been mulling over lately?

  • Well, youve got 4 different tests to try.

  • I think the most exciting and the most activating to share about in the comments is the BCS

  • test, the best case scenario test.

  • So here’s what I want you to do, in the comments below let me know the specific exciting

  • payoff that is likely to come from you saying yes to something youre considering.

  • Now, as always, the best conversations happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com,

  • so head on over and leave a comment now.

  • Once youre there, be sure to subscribe to our email list and become an MF insider.

  • That means youre gonna get instant access to an awesome audio I created called How to

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  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

  • gift that only you have.

  • Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.

  • B-School is coming up.

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  • I have my lines memorized.

  • Your hair is way too long.

  • You need to cut it.

  • This is trippy.

  • Thumbs up for beans, people.

  • Beans are good.

  • Bam!

  • Were gonna have some dancing next.

And I can do this, whicharen’t we recording?

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