(mystical and adventurous music plays)

(loud swooshes)

Greetings!

I am the genie of the-

I wish for infinite wishes!

Ahem.

I am the ge-

I wish for infinite wishes!

NO!

You may have three wishes!

Only three wishes?

Yeah, that’s the rule.

So, what’s your first wish?

I wish for infinite wishes!

You CAN’T wish for infinite wishes, you’re only allowed three!

So I can’t wish for more?

No.

Now make another wish.

I wish...

That I’m allowed to wish for infinite wishes!

You can’t wish for that either!

Are you sure you’re a genie?

You can’t have infinite wishes!

Can I wish for infinite magic lamps?

No.

What about infinite genies?

NO!

What about infinite birthday cakes?

So you can blow out the candles and have infinite wishes?

Yeah.

NO!

Stop trying to get infinite wishes!

So what am I allowed to wish for?

Literally anything!

Oh!

OH!

Then I wish for infinite wishes!

EXCEPT THAT.

Ok fine...

I wish-

Don’t say infinite wishes.

I wish for...

Oh my god you're gonna say infinite wishes aren't you.

A box!

Oh.

Containing infinite wishes!

ARGH!

That’s it, ONE WISH!

That’s all you’re getting now.

So you better make it count!

URGH! Fine...

I wish...

I had...

AIDS.

Your wish is- What?

I wish I had AIDS.

Wah?! WHY?!

GIVE ME AIDS NOW!

No!

NOOOOOOW!!!

AAAA-

(heartbeat monitor beeps / sombre music plays)

Hi Hedy.

We got your letter.

We’re from the Grant-A-Wish foundation

I WISH FOR INFINITE WISHES!

No.

F**K!

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