everyone had to bring in a box of tissues.

I have a strong memory of that.

I don't remember learning too much,

but I remember I had to bring in my box of tissues.

(funk music)

- [Voiceover] Explain photosynthesis.

- (sighs) I know what this is,

I think it's like when a flower...

(laughs)

- This is when the sun is shining

on flowers and things

and there's rain and (laughing) this is how things grow.

- Plants receive light from the sun

and they like, stay alive.

- The plant takes in water and sunlight

through the cell wall and converts it to energy.

(bell dings)

- [Voiceover] What are the three branches of government?

- God, I should know this.

I'm an adult. Dammit.

- Judicial, legislative, Obama.

- I've been watching a lot of House of Cards

but that's not helping.

- There's the executive branch, which is the president,

the judicial branch, which is the Supreme Court,

and then there is the legislative branch,

which is the Senate and Congress.

(bell dings)

- [Voiceover] The American Civil War, when was it?

- (laughing) I do not know.

- Was that before World War I and II or after?

- I don't think it was that early.

- 1960s? No, no, no.

Maybe it was before.

1930s?

- Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492.

He's a huge asshole, Columbus.

- The American Civil War was between 1861 and 1865.

(bell dings)

- [Voiceover] What is 23 divided by four in mixed numerals?

- So, that means...

- This is like, how many vodka sodas I can have in one night

divided by the number of hours it probably takes

for me to metabolize.

(muttering)

- I feel like I've completely forgotten how to divide things

but multiplication's still there, so...

- Four, eight, 16, 20,

and then if it were 24, it'd be five, obviously.

Yeah. No. Six, it'd be six.

- 20, wait, yeah.

Right. What?

Is that right?

- Is this the mixed numerals?

- It's four and 3/4, right?

No, wait, that's not right.

- Brunch is $23, divided by four people.

- You finally stumped me with this simple division

that a fourth grader would definitely know.

- Yeah, it's like five bucks, $5.10 each, I think.

- That's the answer key.

Boobless.

- Also, just for like, kids watching,

college is way easier than the fourth grade.

Like, way easier.

You like, talk about your opinion and then you leave.