Subtitles section Play video
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How many of you are on Tinder?
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(cheers and applause)
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Good for you for getting it started, sir.
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Because so many people were scared to say it,
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and then you encouraged them,
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and then they, "Oh yeah, then me too."
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How about Cupid? OKCupid?
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Alright, Match.com?
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Hinge? Hinge, Bumble?
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Coffee meets bagel?
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Grindr?
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Alright, well, there are a lot of ways to meet people online these days.
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I've never used any of them, but for all of you young people out there,
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you won't believe this,
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but in the past,
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to start a relationship,
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you had to talk to someone in person.
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For a while.
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And you'd have something called a "conversation."
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And when someone rejected you,
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they would reject you in person.
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You could actually see their expression.
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You would know what that means.
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Kids, you call it an emoji,
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we call it a face.
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(cheers and applause)
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But since it's so much easier to date online,
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I think people have gotten lazier and lazier,
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and pick-up lines have gotten worse and worse.
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And I know this from all the research I've done,
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and by research, I mean I found an Instagram account called Tinder Nightmares.
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And since Tinder is a place where you can find true love,
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sometimes twice in one night,
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- Yeah!
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This section over here is crazy.
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Alright, I want to help you people out,
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so I thought we could take a look at some Tinder pick-up lines that didn't go well and learn from their mistakes.
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So this one is from Kevin, and his first text is at 3:30 in the morning.
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"Hey what's up"
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And then,
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"Hey what's up"
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And then,
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"Hey what's up"
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Alright.
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Then at 3:46, he texted,
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"Hey what's up"
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He's persistent, that Kevin.
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This next one is from Luke, and,
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"Yogurt. Cereal. Soup. Sidney from Tinder. These are all things I want to spoon."
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And then,
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"My name's Sarah. Did you copy and paste that from a conversation you had with a girl named Sidney and forget to change the name?"
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"Well, this is awkward."
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Alright, here's a line no one would ever say in person.
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"I heard you like whales...so do you want to go humpback at my place?"
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Come on, America, we can do better.
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This next one starts off sweet,
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It's, "Gosh u are beautiful! But I'm not looking for anything. Just trying to make friends."
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"Well thanks! And that's okay! I'm not looking for anything either, just wanna meet new people and if it goes somewhere cool. If not I have a new friend."
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And then, "Sex?"
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And then sex?
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Alright, we have time for one more, right?
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Mary? Andy? One more?
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Alright, this is,
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"Do you work at Subway?"
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And then, "This better not be a footlong joke."
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"Crap."
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It was.
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It was a footlong joke.
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To see another 12 million examples of what not to do on Tinder,
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check out Tinder Nightmares or you could join Tinder.
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And now, here's a pick-up line that seems to work all the time.
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It's, "Let's dance."