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  • Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Google Feud.

  • The game where YOU try to guess what Google is gonna guess when YOU'RE trying to look up porn.

  • Unless you're not looking up porn.. and if you're not, what're you doing with your life?

  • Come on! What else is the internet for?

  • So I, my favorite category is 'people' and not any of the other ones. I'll do the other ones to show you what they

  • are, but my favorite is people, because they're relatable human problems, that we humans have to experience,

  • in our hu-man lives, with our hu-man limbs!

  • 'Never put a'.. dick in your butt.

  • [giggling] Dammit, God damn it.. I told myself I wasn't gonna start it off this way!

  • 'NEVER PUT A QUESTION MARK WHERE GOD'?!

  • 'NEVER PUT A HAT ON YOUR BED'??

  • 'NEVER PUT A SOCK IN A TOASTER'?

  • WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??

  • I JUST said this was #relatable bullshit! You're gonna give me THIS assetry?

  • Fuck off, Google.

  • 'How to look' ..handsome. Fuck.

  • 'How to look' beeaautiful. FUCK.

  • 'HOW TO LOOK' HOT.

  • God, I gotta know what the internet wants. I gotta speak the internet lingo! It's very stuplistic language!

  • 'How to look'... less stupid.

  • 'How to look' cool! Also known as less stupid. BAM!

  • OOOOOOH, FUCK OFF!

  • 'How to look older, pretty, younger, skinny'.. [laughing] 'for bed bugs'..

  • 'Like a model', this is bullshit.

  • 'I wanna buy a [singing] SNOWMAAN! Fuck.

  • I wanna buy a car! I wanna buy a house! I wanna buy a dog! I wanna buy a cat! Fuuck..

  • I wanna buy a... [giggling] sibling

  • [laughing] I wanna buy... I WANNA BUY A WIFE! DAMN IT!

  • 'I wanna buy a timeshare.. gun, boat.. tin-' Tiny! Tiny house! I wanna buy an itty bitty house, for Tiny Box Tim

  • to live in. Just an itty bitty one. It'll be adorable.

  • 'My best friend is a' [singing] SNOWMAAN!

  • 'My best friend is' an asshole.

  • Aw fuck, come on. [laughing] That makes me look bad, oh no!

  • 'My best friend is a' cool guy. [laughing] Damn it.

  • 'Is a guy, girl' who- Why would you need to look this up??

  • This isn't a Google worthy phrase! Alright, fine. You know what, whatever.

  • 'MY FRIENDS ARE ALL' ..dead.

  • [laughing] Oh my God.. oh my God, that was one of 'em..

  • 'My friends are all' jerks.

  • 'My friends are all'...

  • ..cooler than I am!

  • Man, this is talking about my friends a lot. 'My friends are all'..

  • ...mean! Fuck..

  • 'Wasted'? 'Wasted and I hate this club'?

  • God, I gotta think more millennial. I gotta be more millennial on this..

  • 'How to draw a' [singing] SNOWMAAN!

  • STICK FIGURE!

  • ...HAND! FUCK!

  • 'Rose'?!?!?!

  • 'How to get rich off'..

  • ...of stupid people!

  • 'Off'.. the internet!

  • 'How to get rich off' [evil voice] YOUR FAMILY.

  • Eh.. 'How to get rich off' of exploiting slave labor! I gotta spell it right!

  • NOO.. 'stocks, YouTube, penny stocks'.. Fuck!

  • 'Best way to kill' time!

  • wwhAAT?

  • 'Best way to kill' your family!

  • 'Best way to kill' your wIFE!

  • God, damn it, I'm terrible! Oh my God! That was all logical things!

  • [laughing] What was I doing? Why was I defaulting to murder..

  • 'I love the feeling of being'.....

  • [cough]

  • [laughing] Okay, alright then.

  • 'I love the'- [whispering] taste of semen.

  • [uncontrollable giggling]

  • [giggling] 'I love the taste of' dick..

  • Damn it!

  • [laughing] Wrong both times!

  • 'I love the taste of' [evil voice] blood..

  • YEAHAHAH!

  • hhaAAAAAAH, 'I love the taste ooooof'..meat. Damn it.

  • [laughing] 'I love the taste of balls'!

  • I was so close!

  • Oh my God..

  • [giggling] I was on the right track.. I didn't know how close I was.

  • That is so stupid.. It's so stupid, I'm sorry, that's so stupid.

  • 'I accidentally ate' [laughing] Jeff Goldblum..

  • That's not how you spell his name, damn it..

  • 'I accidentally ate' Adam Sandler..

  • 'I accidentally ate' balls..

  • [feigning distress] oOH NO! I ACCIDENTALLY ATE GLUTEN?!?!

  • AW, FUCK, MAN!

  • 'I think I have' an erection.

  • 'I think I have' a tumor.

  • 'I think I have' cancer..

  • 'I think I have'...

  • [uncontrollable giggling] a pet named 'Steve'..

  • [of course everyone has a pet named steve these days]

  • I don't, I don't know why that really made me laugh..

  • I'm in a very giggly mood, okay?

  • 'I wanna be a' [singing] snowman!

  • I wanna be a' marine, 'I wanna be an' [laughing] engineer.. God damn it.

  • Ohh, 'I wanna be a millionare' that's obvious, that's obvious.

  • 'I think I swallowed a' penis.

  • 'I think I swallowed a' my pet named 'Steve'.. [uncontrollable giggling]

  • I'm sorry, I- this is not funny! This is not funny, I know this!

  • Oh man.. I know!

  • Fuck, man, I'm sorry!

  • ..a nail.

  • Damn it. 'I think I swallowed' oh, 'a chicken bone', 'piece of glass', that, that makes sense.

  • 'What's it like to be' gay?

  • 'What's it like to be' a girl?

  • 'What's it like to be' [laughing] a pet named 'Steve'?

  • [uncontrollable laughter]

  • [cry-laughing]

  • God, that's so not funny, that's so not funny.

  • I'm going out of my God damned mind..

  • 'When you die, you die for real.

  • 'you die' in the game?

  • 'When you die, you' go to heavaan?

  • Heaven?

  • 'When you die, you' [evil voice] go to hell.

  • Damn it!

  • [laughing] 'When you die, you become a tree' You just, become a great beautiful tree..

  • Oh man.. I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I am so- I am sorry for this video, I am sorry for being a God damn giggly fool..

  • I- and you can play this game through the link in the description below.

  • Thank you everybody so much for watching, if you want to see more of this let me know, I might explore the other

  • categories but so far people's my favorite.

  • So thanks again everybody for watching, and as always, I will see you

  • in the next video.

  • BUH-BYE!

Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome to Google Feud.

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