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  • On a scale from one to ten,

  • how much do I resemble a Super Mario Brother right now?

  • Look out, turtle! There's a turtle! Look out!

  • Bing!

  • Hi, guys. How are you?

  • Hi, welcome.

  • Joe: Q assembling it right now.

  • Welcome, welcome, everybody.

  • We are carpenters. We work here at the hardware store.

  • Q, "I like things like this."

  • I like things like this.

  • "People getting their hands dirty."

  • People getting their hands dirty, you know, get in.

  • Grab a birdhouse, grab a birdhouse.

  • For instance, okay... this is a birdhouse.

  • Smash it against the wall.

  • Oh!

  • We're not here to build birdhouses!

  • Okay?

  • We're not making a love nest for Tweety Bird here!

  • All right.

  • "But, first, guys"...

  • But first...

  • "Safety first."

  • ...safety comes first.

  • Put on the whole safety gear on the table there.

  • So we're gonna put on -- Okay...

  • So, yeah, put your goggles on.

  • What is on your head?

  • I don't know, it comes with the thing.

  • That goes on your -- That goes on your feet.

  • Now, we're just about ready.

  • Okay, now, guys, show them how to use duct tape.

  • Yeah.

  • Go onto the wall and put a piece of tape on the wall.

  • Look at Murray.

  • He looks like he got caught in a paper shredder.

  • What we're gonna show you first is how to tape something, okay?

  • So, Q, do you want to...

  • Safety first. Safety first.

  • Any questions about that?

  • We're gonna leave these on?

  • Q, rip it off, right off.

  • They're disposable,

  • so you don't have to take good care of them, you know?

  • Q: Here we go.

  • Well, let's show you some of the other tools here, okay?

  • Q, there's a halligan tool down there.

  • You see that?

  • Oh, all right.

  • This is used by the FDNY.

  • It's used by men.

  • "I used to be a fireman."

  • I used to be a fireman.

  • "I used to be a man."

  • I used to be a man.

  • There you go.

  • That's all I had to say about it.

  • I just wanted to show you a tool that real men use

  • and that I no longer use.

  • "That's all the time we have today."

  • That is all the time we have today.

  • That's it.

  • Uh...

  • "Before we take this vote, I'm just gonna break this glass",

  • and, Murray, throw something glass.

  • If you can raise your hands if you think you've learned something useful today.

  • But before we do, I'm just gonna shatter this glass.

  • Anybody learn anything useful today?

  • There you go -- one!

  • All right, one.

  • Both: Oh!

  • There you go! One.

On a scale from one to ten,

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