Hellooo, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to.

And welcome to another edition of Old vs. New.

It's the fairy tale that teaches kids all around the world

that it doesn't matter what you look like or where you come from,

as long as you work hard and have a kind heart,

you too, can get a makeover.

Cinderella is a tale that's been told countless times,

but the most definitive version belonged to Disney Animations in 1950.

So it only figured when you have a money maker so iconic that it's cemented in everybody's memory,

you remake it 65 years later!

To much surprise though, not only were there big names and astounding visuals,

but it also got quite the critical backing, too, with people praising it for being such a stylized update!

But as always, which one is better?

Which one feels the most engaging, clever and all around magical?

Now, of course, being of the NOSTALGIC persuasion, I have a little bit of a leaning towards the old.

*Whimsically* If only I could wish for someone who had an opposite opinion of me...

*With slightly more force* If only I could wish for someone who had an opposite opinion of me...

If only I could-- WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!

Hyper Fangirl: Sorry! This thing's really hard to walk in.

Critic: Christ, even when I WANT you in a video you can't get it right!

Hyper: Hey! Give me a chance, I have whimsical support on this one.

Critic: Yeah? Who?

[EXPLOSION HOLY MOTHER OF SOCKS]

"Answer": DEVIL BONER!!!!!!

Critic: Oh, great, what whimsical support can YOU offer?

Devil: Hey, I can get in touch with my feminine side!

Watch! Sparkles!!

Butterflies!!

EXPLOSIONS!!

Hyper: No.

Devil: No? O-okay, no explosions. No explosions. But, um...ponies?

P-PONIES!

Critic: (sighs) How are you two still a thing?

Devil: What can I say? I love a woman that writes fanfiction about me.

Hyper: Oh, and we both held you hostage that one time. So we have that in common

Devil: You did it better. Hyper: You did!

Devil: No, you did Hyper: You did! (repeats)

Critic:*clears throat* Hyper, isn't Benny gonna feel weird that you have another outlet for mindless violence?

Hyper: Oh, come on! He's a professional assassin. This kind of thing doesn't bother people like him

(sad piano music)

Benny: It's nothing, Benny. Nothing. Just add her to the list.

Critic: Okay, are you gonna debate me on these Cinderella movies or not?

Hyper: There is no debating. The new one is better,

if for no other reason that the lead actress had to lose two ribs to fit into that dress.

Critic: But it's so sexist and bland.

Hyper: The ORIGINAL is sexist and bland!

Critic: You just like it 'cause there's more flashy sparkles

to play to your inner five-year-old. You're a flaky-flaley-flashy-holic!

Devil: What did you call her?

Hyper: Honey! Honey! I'm gonna do the crossover. Why don't you go start a war with a random country?

Devil: Ooh! I get to use my random war generator!

Jamaica it is!

Critic: So, Hyper, are you ready to be proven wrong once again?

Hyper: The day you start being right.

Critic: Let's do Cinderella: Old vs. New.

Critic: Sometimes a prince leaves no impact on you, whatsoever.

Hyper: Dude! Too soon...

Critic: I was talking about the royal position!

Hyper: And I'm not.

Critic: *sigh* He's the arm-candy of our main character's dreams

Let's take a look at best prince.

Critic: While a lot of people give flack to some Disney princesses for not having enough character,

people forget the princes often weren't even given TIME to have character.

Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and- yes- Cinderella, all have princes with only a handful of lines.

Hyper: And where the one from Sleeping Beauty fought a dragon

and the one from Snow White saves her from death,

this one yaaaawwnnns.

Critic: Ok, Look, this was a different time. A time when...

Hyper: Yawning was an attractive trait?

Critic: I don't think you're taking into account how sexy that yawn was.

Hyper: Heck, his father gets more screen time than this. So does his servant for that matter.

Critic: Yes, yes but... through them we're discovering the prince's character

and they're also relaying the chemistry between our two romantic leads an-

Hyper: You got nothing. Critic: I got nothing

Hyper: Now, with the remake, not only is the prince given a lot more onscreen time

but there's also more time to develop their chemistry

Cinderella and him meet before the ball and they have time to talk like normal people

and build and appreciation of each other.

Even during the ball, they talk and share experiences that help them build a stronger connection.

She doesn't just see him and declare, "This is love!" like in the original

Critic: *sarcasm* I wouldn't know anybody who did that.

Hyper: I've moved on Critic, I found a more sensible love.

Devil: Hey babe, it turns out it's easy to start a war in this place.

You just tell'em Cool Runnings is a 100% true story!

Devil: Will do. AAAAAHHH!!! (gun shots)

Critic: Okay, so maaybe this prince has more charm, more personality, more screen time

more chemistry and preeetty much more of a connection with everyone he comes in contact with

but there is one thing that prince does NOT have.

Critic: A shit ton of eyeliner!

Hyper: Dude, again, too soon!

Critic: Just take the point.

Hyper: After you give him an apology.

*sigh*

He's waiting.

Disney has always created the greatest villains.

And what's scarier than a middle-aged woman who's obsessed with housework?!

Hyper: Virtually anything!

Critic: This is best villain.

Critic: This one is rough because it really is like comparing apples to oranges.

Hyper: Well, to Snow White that's an easy choice.

Critic: The original is said by many to be one of the greatest Disney villains ever.

With her style, grace and love of all the villainous things she does.

The only downside is that it's only explained in narration why she doesn't like Cinderella,

because of this, it's a little harder to identify with her motivation.

Hyper: In the new film, we see how her bitterness is born. She hears her husband confess that he preferred

the first wife more. Which makes her angry towards his offspring all the more understandable.

We also see her slowly lure Cinderella into the role of servant

showing how patient and manipulative she can be.

Critic: The downside to that is, it may make her too human by comparison.

Which one is more frightening?

The one's that motivations are made totally clear?

Or the one shrouded in mystery, you're supposed to have no sorrow for.

The original was so slimy and hateful; there was virtually no good in her at all,

while the new one is so fragile and relatable that you can see the tragedy

play out in every mean spirited move she makes.

The original acts like someone in control

while the remake acts like someone who wants to be in control.

Hyper: I guess it's kindd like comparing Zuko with Frollo.

Boy, one of them needs a breakfast cereal.

One is sympathetic while the other is pure evil,

both still coming off as complex and interesting.

So how do we really judge which one is best?

Critic: Well, I guess whichever one scares up the most is the most intimidating.

Hyper: Well, I guess that speech that the new one made in the dark is creepy in it's own righ-

(BOOM)

WAH! Uh..! But the new one has the mind of a sociopath which is very psychologically terrifyin-

(BOOM)

AAHH! But the new one has a more developed past! Allowing her to-

(BOOM)

OKAY! She wins!

God, that look is scary.

Critic: *chuckles* Some people can't just handle a good old fashion death glare.

(BOOM)

DAH! You whore!

Hyper: Remember, I can point just as hard as you.

Critic: Yeah, we seem to have unbelievable power with this, don't we?

(BOOM's repeating)

*both scream*

Hyper: Never forget...

Critic: Hey Hyper, by any chance, are you of Indian decent?

Hyper: No? Why?

(funky battle music)

(battle music

(gunshot)

(bullet ricochets)

Devil: There's twenty metal plate in my head

The only downside is, I don't know what half the words beginning with 's' means.

Ask me the definition of seagull.

Hyper: What's the definition of seagull?

Devil: Stop making up words, honey!

Benny: You don't get it.

When you hire an assassin, you use ONLY him.

For life.

Devil: No YOU don't understand.

When you have a review already full of a ton of estrogen.

Critic: HEY!

Devil: And the good looking half of that estrogen is threatened

you awaken a demon that will not sleep into the nigh-

Oh, by the way honey, I got you a hat.

Hyper: *gasp* Thank you so much, woobles!

Devil: No problem, babe.

Into the niiiiggght.

Benny: You might be good with a gun

but you're nothing compared to my stealth.

Devil: HAH! I can see you coming a mile awa-

I was looking RIGHT AT him.

How did he do that?

Hyper: Is something wrong, possum-bear?

Devil: Nothing, heart-eater.