Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Welcome to Sword Art Online Announcer: Sword Art Online is the greatest game ever! Kirito: This is the Greatest Game EVER! Announcer: You are now all trapped until someone completes a hundred floors. Kirito: Fuck [Nightcore Opening Theme] Announcer: Haha, most of you are actually guys Announcer: Oh, if you die here you die in real life *raging nerds and 12 year olds* Kirito: YOU, come with me I need a comedic sidekick! Klein: Actually I think I can be an interesting character audiences would like to see more- Kirito: SHADDUP Klein come back when you're a Main Character™! ಥ_ಥ(I cri everytim) Announcer: 2 Months have passed and 2,000 people have died Blue hair: Too many people have died So your only objective of this raid is DON'T DIE Blue hair: Oh God I'm dyiiing Kirito: Drink the potion Blue hair: This is it I can tell this is The End Kirito: Drink the GODDAMN potion! Stupid Blue Extra: Just tell my family I love them Kirito: WILL U JUST DRINK THE POTION ALREADY?! BLEH (Rest in pepperonis Blue Hair Guy) Kirito: WHY DIDN'T YOU DRINK THE POTION?! Screw it!I'll do it myself. [COFFEE SODA Soundtrack] Someone in the background: OH MY GAWD I WANT HIS BABIES!!! Other male voice: Who the hell is he? Black Swordsman: I'm the Black Swordsman Guts cameo: No you're fuckin not Redhead bitch: How the hell did he get so Overpowered™?!?! Kirito: psh I'm not Overpowered™! fFUCK OUTPLAYED MLG NO buffz GGGGG LVL 50 vs LVL 1 gg nub guild floating Faker Kirito: Now I just need to find my generic love interest! Kirito: Are you the right one? Additional voice: I guess I could (blood-curdling scream as she dies) Pedo-Kirito: are you the right one? 12-yr-old: I'm like 12! Kirito: Are u the right one? I'm as useless as a hedgehog in a condom factory! Kirito: How 'bout you? Tits McGee? Tsundere-Asuna: It's not like I like you or anything you idiot BAKA Kirito: purrfect Hi HI! Kirito: wanna get married? Asuna: OK Kirito: wanna have sex? Asuna: OK (I came with the force of a thousand suns) Asuna: Does this mean we can have children now? Kirito: GAWD I hope not Asuna: Kirito! look what I found Kirito: You've gotta be fuckin kidding me Asuna: can we keep it? Kirito: NO Asuna: BUT I want ooone Kirito: NO Asuna: Pleeeeeeeeaaase Kirito: NO! Asuna: I'm not having sex with you for a month! Kirito: FINE Kirito: If you promise to feed it properly and take it for walks. Loli-AI: Are you my mama and papa? Asuna: YES! Kirito: NOOO! Kirito: can we just go back to showing me being Overpowered™? (Best battle ever) Kirito: Oh so apparently I can dual-wield now! Who-is-this-again: Hey how is that fair? Kirito: SHAHDUP Klein Come back when you're a Main Character™! ಥ_ಥ (RIP Klein.You were never a main character) Kirito: Now NOONE can beat me at this game! Kayaba Akihiko: Imma let you finish Kirito but I AM THE GREATEST SAO PLAYER OF ALL TIME (nerd) but I AM THE GREATEST SAO PLAYER OF ALL TIME Kirito: YOU WANNA GO? FITE ME ON UR OWN BR0H fk Announcer: Heathcliff WIN Kirito: HACKS I call HACKS Not-Kayaba-Akihiko: What? Kirito: you're Kayaba Akihiko aren't you? Definitely-Not-Akihiko: What are you talking about? Kirito: Obviously noone else can beat me at this game! Kayaba: I commend you for figuring out the truth NOW FITE ME!!! Kirito: Oh shit seriously? I was just talking out of my ass! Kayaba: Ooopsy Daisy Kirito: Asuna WHYYYYYYYYYYYY Asuna: Because that's the only useful thing I'm ever gonna do (Death intestifies) Kirito: I'M STILL GONNA DIE YOU STUPID BITCH! now you die HAX MODE ON WHAT? (stab) Kayaba: this doesn't even make sense gg no re Kayaba: Congratulations on beating the game Kirito: So, how come you wanted to trap thousands of people in this game? Pfff I dunno Seems legit. Asuna: I'm gonna blow you so hard when we get out of here! OK WAKE UP BITCH U OWE ME A BJ!!! Obvious Antagonist: I'm afraid she's not going wake up... Kirito: Who are you? Mr.Pedo: I'm the new bad guy of this arc who's going to marry this girl! hhHahhHaa Alright Pedo McGreatface have fun getting dead first for the rest of your life [still don't know if this is correct] Hi I'm Incest(Hi Incest I'm dad) Kirito: Sorry Incest I'm not really interested right now What am I supposed to do now? Male voice: Have you heard? There's a new RPG out Now's not the time for games I have to figure out a way to save Asuna HOLY SHIT YOU CAN FLY? I'M SO FUCKIN ON THIS!! What about saving Asuna? Saving who? Incest: You have black hair and you're really good at video games! Just like my brother! Kirito: You have very big breasts, just like my sister! Incest: Did I ever tell you I was in love with my brother? Brother: Wow It'd sure suck if I was your brother! Incest: YOU'RE MY BROTHER?(OOOO what a twist) Brother: I'M YOUR BROTHER?! FOCK PHUCK I Can'T BelIEvE I FeLl In LoVE wIth My bRotHER Kirito: Sugu wait you still might have a chance with me Sugu: I'm instantly over it Let's play more Video Games Sugu: This final boss is impossible to beat HAH who the hell do you think I am? I'm Kirito AHHHHHHHHHHHH stabby stabby alright well I guess 2nd time's a charm Sugu: This time with the power of