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*drops camera*
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Oh-
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*sighs*
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Oh my god I just unironically sighed before a video.
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Great.
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I feel really sad.
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I really feel down right now.
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Uhm...
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Because I-
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I-
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I realized last night that I can't keep doing the vlogs.
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It really, really sucks.
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I really wanted Birdabo to be something fun and positive and different for the channel.
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And I think it was the first week.
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But now, it's just gotten to a point where...
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Not just me is being affected by it but like other people around me.
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Brad and Michael who came out here to help me with the vlogs-
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'Cause I was already stressed out before I came here.
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And...
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Uhm...
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I think I have a pretty high tolerance of stress, but...
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It just got worse, and I talked about this in the vlog. It just got worse when I came here.
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It's just been so stressful.
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I'm doing the show, I'm doing the daily vlogs, uh- doing RevelMode stuff, and it's just...
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It's just been too much. And I can deal with it, like- It's just another ten days, right?
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But...
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Like even with Marzia, it's like... forced to do all these things. It just feels forced.
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Brad and Michael, everyone is just stressed out over the vlogs, and I think the fun disappeared somewhere.
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And like if it's forced and not fun, then what's the point of continuing?
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Uhm...
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It really sucks... that I'm here.
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I- I- I really wanted Birdabo to be something fun and positive like I said but...
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I- I just can't keep going with it.
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Uhm...
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I'm really sorry... that it's... if you expected more.
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I'm really sorry I'm in this situation.
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It really sucks for me. Uhm...
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I've always put YouTube first.
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Always.
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Even if I'm working on other projects, it doesn't matter. The videos goes first.
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You guys come first. That's my main thing.
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But I- I can't do that while I'm here.
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'Cause I have to do the show... and I have to do all these other things.
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And keeping the vlogs up, it's just impossible at this point.
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So I'm really sorry to you guys for not doing that. I feel really disappointed.
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Uhm...
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I wish I could just make my normal videos again.
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I wish I was home.
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I- I miss my pugs.
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But I'm here for another week and uh... I don't... I don't- I don't know how I'm gonna keep doing the vlogs so-
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It's just not worth it.
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I said it before, but I never want to force content, y'know?
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I really have a lot of fun when I'm with my own setup, doing my own thing.
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But, I realized just like...
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Everyone just feels forced to film these things, and it's just...
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I'm just really sad about it.
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I... I hope you understand.
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I wish... I wish it wasn't like this- I know it's not even that big a deal. I don't know why I'm so fucking upset about it.
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It's just we really worked really hard on this fucking thing, and I think that's what killed it.
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*laughs*
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Which is such a shame.
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And I think that's why I'm so upset.
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I'll be back in probably a week and a half to my normal videos.
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I'm just need to finish what I'm doing here in L.A.
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I need to put myself first... this time.
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So disappointed.
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No, you know what? Let's end this on a positive note.
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You guys' support while doing the vlogs really carried me through, and it really means a lot.
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Uh... Ah, fuck.
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I don't even know why I care so much.
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It's fucking stupid.
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You guys have been awesome.
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Thank you.
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I'll be back.
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It's all good.
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Don't worry about me.
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Brofist?
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*laughs*
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Yeah?
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Alright.
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Here it comes.
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*music plays*