The President: Hey guys.

How are you?

Sorry we're running a little late --

Mr. Colbert: Mr. President, Stephen Colbert.

The President: Good to see you, Stephen, how are you?

Nice to see you again.

Mr. Colbert: Thanks so much for doing this with us.

The President: Now, the only thing I regret is, I'm not going to get to see

you bald, man.

(laughter)

Mr. Colbert: You'll see it Monday night.

The minute you go off the air, Odierno's gonna shear my head.

It's the last thing in the show.

So we're gonna take it from right before you come in.

>> Stephen, cut your hair off.

Mr. Colbert: With all due respect, sir, you're not the best

advertisement for haircuts.

And frankly, it's going to take more than a four-star General to

get me to shave my head.

The President: Excuse me, General?

>> Mr. President, welcome, sir.

The President: Thank you, General.

First, I want to send my greetings to the men and women

of our Armed Forces in Iraq and I and all Americans thank you

for your service.

>> (whispering) Wow, this is amazing!

Mr. Colbert: You're welcome, Mr. President!

The President: I wasn't talking to you.

Now second, General, I overheard your conversation about

Stephen's hair --

Mr. Colbert: Wait, you overheard?

Are your satellites really that good?

The President: No, but my ears are really that big.

Now, as a man who understands the appeal of a close crop,

I say if Stephen Colbert wants to play soldier,

it's time to cut that man's hair.

Mr. Colbert: Wait a second --

>> Sir, I'd like to request a confirmation.

The President: General, as Commander-in-Chief, I hereby order you to shave

that man's head.

>> Yes, sir.

Mr. Colbert: Hey!

The President: Thank you, General.

And once again, my thanks to everybody there.

Mr. Colbert: That's it.

The President: All right.

Mr. Colbert: Thank you, sir.

(appalause)

The President: Thank you, thank you.

I would like to thank my family --

(laughter)

Mr. Colbert: Look for this come Emmy time.

(laughter)

You're a contender at this point.

The President: It's big, it's big.

(cross-talk)