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  • i don't know how to hype myself up

  • Okay, hi guys! My name's Shannon and... it's been a minute

  • since I did a Q&A, so that's what we're here to do!

  • A very candid Q&A

  • So this Q&A is a little different than other Q&As I've done because

  • I asked you guys to ask me questions through the Candid App and now im gonna answer them

  • That's how the Q&As always work. That part is pretty...pretty normal

  • "Have you settled into your new house, yet?"

  • If you guys didn't know, I just moved to a new apartment

  • and it is in LA

  • I don't know why some people thought I moved somewhere else, but

  • I didn't, I live in LA

  • But am I settled in yet?

  • No, I would say

  • Not yet

  • But I'm working on it!

  • "Can you put your head behind your head?"

  • I don't

  • What does that mean?

  • "One word to describe Trump"?

  • *Beep*

  • "Your favorite part of your body?"

  • I don't know why, I just thought this was a cute question

  • 'cause I actually read it and then had to think of an answer, 'cause I didn't have one off the top of my head, but

  • it's such a body positive kind of question, and I was like

  • "What do I like about myself?"

  • Probably these huge...

  • Feet

  • I hate myself

  • It's so funny that I'm embarrassed to say something I like about myself right now

  • like I feel you're not allowed to say that

  • which is so wrong! I'm allowed to say something I like about myself

  • I like my stomach. I think it's...I like my tummy

  • That's my answer

  • And I'm allowed to say it!

  • "Are you and Vanessa best friends or more?"

  • Way more

  • We're best, best friends

  • We're best, best, best, best, best friends

  • Vanessa Webster, if you're watching this I love you, man

  • "The goal is to attend a party with Shannon, dance hard until we are forced to stop and win her over with my charm. Yes"

  • Unfortunately, I think

  • if I were to be dancing, I'd be forced to stop pretty fucking fast

  • Someone would see it and say

  • "Please, please don't. Please, please...don't"

  • "I'm begging you. Please don't"

  • That would be me dancing at a party

  • So I think we need to come up with a different plan for you to win me over

  • "Did you actually write the letter 3456 times?"

  • If you guys haven't seen I posted a video a few weeks ago called "A letter to you"

  • which was a letter to my younger self but also a letter to you guys

  • And in it I said that I wrote it...this was like 3456 version of it

  • I didn't write 3456 but

  • I did write close to that

  • I wrote so many different versions and I couldn't get it to be exactly what I wanted it to be

  • Thank God for all my friends who helped me look at it and like rewrite it over and over

  • But the *unintelligible noises*

  • question you probably all wanna know the answer to

  • "How do you feel about Cam moving on?"

  • Genuinely

  • I am so happy for Cammie

  • so, so happy

  • I couldn't wish more good things for her

  • including love

  • like, obviously yes, I'm so happy for her

  • "What is a funny fact that you used to do as a child?"

  • They always said that I had the Beveridge scowl

  • which you guys always mention how freaking active my eyebrows are which I know

  • They have a mind of their own

  • Literally, I don't think to move them

  • They are just doing that

  • But when I was really little like a baby I used to always be like this

  • Or like this

  • Beveridge scowl

  • This is a question I got a lot

  • "Going forward, what would you like to be the purpose or focus of your youtube cahnnel?"

  • I'm not a hundred percent sure

  • what all this channel will be

  • All I know is I'm gonna be making the content that is on my mind

  • So...yeah, my last 2 videos were kind of LGBT related because

  • I've been going through things in my own life with friends and stuff

  • and I've seen them struggle with things, so that was on my mind a lot

  • so that's the videos I was making

  • and it was what you guys were talking about

  • This channel...I just want it to be

  • a mix of everything

  • I'm excited to see what it becomes, it's like...

  • I think it's kind of fun. None of us know

  • Did you hear my voice quiver?

  • Is it fun or is it scary? Is it fun or is it scary?

  • It's fun!

  • Right?

  • Another very candid question

  • which I don't think I've ever really said anything about this too much before, so

  • we're gonna do it

  • "Have you ever felt suicidal? How did you overcome thouse thoughts?"

  • Have I ever felt suicidal? I...

  • I'm nervous to even talk about this

  • I've never genuinely contemplated suicide

  • however

  • Did I have suicidal thoughts?

  • And like...

  • Was that something that has ever crossed my mind? Yes

  • It did, when I was younger

  • It did

  • But it was always something I knew that I wouldn't do, but it did cross my mind

  • That's heavy

  • but honest

  • How did I work on those thoughts?

  • I just...one day

  • dediced that my life was worth living

  • and I wasn't gonna let other people's ideas of what...

  • life should be keep me from my happiness and...

  • Yeah, I don't know, I don't know. I was just like

  • I think one day I actually

  • made this deal with God, and I prayed and I was like

  • I said something along the lines of if...

  • "if this life isn't the life that you want me to live then like...

  • you're gonna need to end it because I'm not gonna end my own life"

  • And then...

  • the next day I woke up and I was like "Okay, I'm not thinking about that anymore"

  • And I got over it

  • I just...I don't know

  • My life was worth living

  • I had to make that decision for myself, and I did. And then...

  • I was fine, I was done

  • That's...

  • That's a lot to tell ya!

  • How candid of me!

  • Genuinely, how are you?

  • That's such a nice question

  • Genuinely, I'm wonderful

  • I'm doing really well

  • I'm getting my life kind of more...

  • back on track

  • A more routine going on

  • You might've seen on Twitter I said I'm gonna be posting weekly again, so

  • I'm just like adjusting to

  • my new life, which is very fun, and nice, and good, and it's going well

  • and, yeah, I'm excited for you guys to see

  • what's to come

  • I'm also excited to see it myself

  • Ok, guys, that's the end of this Q&A

  • Thank you so much for asking me questions over on Candid and

  • if you were one of the people who left your handle with your question

  • then you're actually getting entered in to win a Canon Powershot camera

  • which is the camera I vlog on, or used to vlog on

  • I want to give you guys the oportunity to pursue something kind of like Youtube which

  • like Candid, gives you a place to speak freely and

  • share your opinions on things and

  • it's my favorite thing in the world, Youtube, so I wanted to be able to give that back to you guys

  • So if you asked a question and you left your handle

  • pay attention, and I'm gonna be tweeting and letting you guys know who won the camera

  • Huge thanks to Candid for sponsoring this video

  • You guys should go download the app

  • and use it kind of like how it's intended to anonymously talk about things that you care about

  • or you're interested in and

  • connect with a community of people who are doing the same thing

  • I love you guys endlessly. I hope you liked this Q&A, I hope you liked my answers, I hope you like me still

  • Thank you for watching and I'll see you next week

  • I've been doing this so much lately, like why?

  • I was doing this before

  • and now this

  • Sorry

  • Okay, I'm fucking weird

  • I'm being very odd, al- fucking always

  • Okay

i don't know how to hype myself up

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A2 US candid suicidal question genuinely life letter

Moving On, Moving Out, & Suicidal Thoughts

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    Ling-tzu Chen posted on 2016/11/19
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